Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell dp that he cannot go away with work...

42 replies

bogie · 08/12/2011 21:30

On the 23-24th of December for a giant piss up?
There are so many reasons why so I will list some .. We have three little ones five and under and also have our nephew staying with us ATM, it will also be nephews birthday on the 23rd and we will be throwing a little party tea at ours.
Another reason is that we will have 15 people for Xmas dinner and dp always comes home ridiculously drunk from these days and spent three days throwing up blood after the last one! He won't be home until around 6pm on Christmas eve.
Next reason is that I have to work 8-9pm and 6-7am every day which means I will have to get someone to sleepover here that night so I can work while they look after the children.
Next reason (and the one that bothers me the most) is that a girl at dps work is a slag that has been trying to get in his pants for the last year, I have had so many arguments with dp about her (because he seems to love the attention and tries to laugh it off). He did promise last year that he wouldn't go to any of these team piss ups because he knew that I wasn't happy about him staying in a hotel after getting drunk all night when she is around.

I have just told him that if he decides to go, I do not want him to come back aibu

OP posts:
TheFestiveWife · 08/12/2011 21:37

YANBU. But I think if he's not listening to your concerns about this girl he works with and "enjoys the attention" then you have bigger problems than if he goes away on the 23rd and 24th December.

SantasENormaSnob · 08/12/2011 21:44

Sounds like you have bigger problems than a night out tbh.

Aside everything else, a do extending to 6pm Xmas eve is not on IMO.

SJisontheway · 08/12/2011 21:46

YANBU. Any one of your reasons are good enough to not want him to go.

QuintessentiallyFestive · 08/12/2011 21:48

Yanbu
These reason are good enough for you to reevaluate whether you want to stay married to him, let alone telling him to stay home.

MissMerrynder · 08/12/2011 22:02

Let him go, then rock up as a surprise... Merry Chriiiiistmaaaaaas!

TheGoddessBlossom · 08/12/2011 22:07

OMIGOD I am sorry but any one with a shred of family values would not choose to go on a 2 day WORKS do that ends at 6pm Christmas Eve. They just wouldn't. With little children around to look after and play with and get excited with, and all the work and prep to do? I have never heard of anything so ridiculous and my DH would not even give the idea a minutes consideration and neither would I.

AKMD · 08/12/2011 22:10

YANBU. Where on earth does he work that people actually want to spend 2 days away from home just before Christmas? Confused If he goes you have big problems, sorry.

pooka · 08/12/2011 22:10

Ridiculous idea for a Christmas do. Seriously - how completely daft.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 22:11

I was with you until you called this girl a "slag"

your problem is with your husband, who is is a selfish twat

you are way out of order to attempt to shift the blame to this girl

she probably agrees with me...your husband is a knob

having said that...in your situation I would give him an ultimatum

his jolly or his family

but you have to mean it...and stop calling other women slags to deflect from his behaviour, you are playing right into his hands

pooka · 08/12/2011 22:13

YEs- AF right. Stop putting blame on the woman from work. All your other reasons are completely legitimate.

Calling her a slag does nothing to put your point across. Anyway - how do you know she has been angling to hook up with your husband? Is that from him? The loving the attention bit seems almost like he rather loves your reaction. Like a wind-up.

Original poster
bogie · 08/12/2011 22:15

Anyfucker she really is, not just to dp to most of the men in the company. At the Christmas meal last week she was pretty much dry humping the director to get herself a drink, she then walked over to a man who was with his wife, dipped her finger in his pint wiped it on his lip then licked it off... If you looked up slag in the dictionary she would be there.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 22:16

so ?

what is she to you ?

Slainte · 08/12/2011 22:16

Sorry to put this in your mind but my immediate thought was "no place of work would book a party with an overnighter on 23 December".
This aside, I would expect my DH to not attend, of his own accord, given all that you have going on.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 22:17

your problem is your husband

have a good ole bitch about her all you like...your lovely husband will be lapping it up

Original poster
bogie · 08/12/2011 22:17

She was texting dp, facebooking him ect. dp did tell her to stop and she did stop the messages but she still behaves the same around him.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 22:18

how do you know ?

are you there at work ?

or is this just what he tells you ?

NinkyNonker · 08/12/2011 22:19

What kind of firm has an away do on those dates?!

YANBU, but rein it in about the girl...after all it takes two to tango.

Original poster
bogie · 08/12/2011 22:19

Small office, we often all get together I have witnessed it first hand on many occasions.

OP posts:
FFSEnid · 08/12/2011 22:20

YANBU except about the slag bit. He isn't responsible for some random colleagues behaviour and you are using her as distraction from his twattery. I actually don't believe a works Christmas party lasts 2 days and doesn't finish until 6pm Christmas eve so I would add being a lying slyboots to your list.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 22:24

as you wish, OP

but what has her behaviour to do with your husband ?

said · 08/12/2011 22:24

Has no-one else at the firm got families?

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 08/12/2011 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindaLaHughes · 08/12/2011 22:28

Calling a woman a slag is bang out of order. Really!!! Are you 15?

So if this was a male behaving in the same way, what would he be? Jack the lad, a laugh, I bet you wouldn't be denigrating his character.

YuleingFanjo · 08/12/2011 22:32

do you trust your husband?

dreamingbohemian · 08/12/2011 22:36

I think it's a bit odd that the reason that 'bothers you the most' is the 'slag'. Not the fact that you will have to find overnight childcare for four DC on 23 December, or your DP will miss a birthday, or that he may end up throwing up blood for 3 days again (seriously?).

What should be bothering you the most is that your DP would even consider going, given all your other issues.