Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To tell dp that he cannot go away with work...

42 replies

bogie · 08/12/2011 21:30

On the 23-24th of December for a giant piss up?
There are so many reasons why so I will list some .. We have three little ones five and under and also have our nephew staying with us ATM, it will also be nephews birthday on the 23rd and we will be throwing a little party tea at ours.
Another reason is that we will have 15 people for Xmas dinner and dp always comes home ridiculously drunk from these days and spent three days throwing up blood after the last one! He won't be home until around 6pm on Christmas eve.
Next reason is that I have to work 8-9pm and 6-7am every day which means I will have to get someone to sleepover here that night so I can work while they look after the children.
Next reason (and the one that bothers me the most) is that a girl at dps work is a slag that has been trying to get in his pants for the last year, I have had so many arguments with dp about her (because he seems to love the attention and tries to laugh it off). He did promise last year that he wouldn't go to any of these team piss ups because he knew that I wasn't happy about him staying in a hotel after getting drunk all night when she is around.

I have just told him that if he decides to go, I do not want him to come back aibu

OP posts:

EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying · 08/12/2011 22:36

Getting back to the main point because I think you called this woman names as a result of your frustration with DP, no YANBU.

DH is behaving like an utter cock, whether it's the work culture or not, and he's going to need to knock the party on the head.

After Christmas though OP I think the two of you are going to have do some serious thinking, you're in trouble big time.

thenightsky · 08/12/2011 22:49

He vomits up blood for two days after these work parties? That is seriously hardcore and damaging

He will be out of action for the best part of the family Christmas.

YANBU

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2011 23:17

OP, just FYI (and his) vomiting blood for 2 days after an alcohol binge may indicate early cirrhosis of the liver

another reason to stop thinking this girl at his place of employment is your primary concern...

ViviPrudolf · 08/12/2011 23:53

I'm never ever one to cry Leave The Bastard, unless the OP cites instances of abuse but on this occasion I can honestly say that I cant even imagine putting up with someone this unspeakably repugnant so I can't see why the OP should either.

If what you say is true, he couldn't give two shits about you or your family, I'm even driven to question if he actually loves you at all if he can be this vile.

And FWIW I agree with everyone else that you're making matters worse by getting het up about the 'slag', tramp or not, she really isn't the crux of your problem here.

Don't Leave The Bastard. But give some serious consideration to making this rotten specimen leave you.

ShengdanRoad · 09/12/2011 09:13

OP, you sound like a right charmer.

wordfactory · 09/12/2011 09:19

Drinking til he vomit blood.
Enjoying the attention of a 'slag'.
Staying out all night so near xmas.

He is the office tool. The man everyone laughs at behind their back. Sorry.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 09/12/2011 09:35

she is no threat to you. Unless she sexually assaults your husband, he will do nothing that he does not want to do.

re the works do - yanbu to want him not to go. However, you can't forbid another adult from going out. You just can't. All you can do is what you have done, which is basically tell him that going on a two day bender is a dealbreaker for you.

What he chooses to do with that information is something you have no control over.

randommoment · 09/12/2011 09:45

YANBU. And I'd call someone who behaves in the way you describe a slag too.

531800000008 · 09/12/2011 09:47

what hec said

samandi · 09/12/2011 09:55

spent three days throwing up blood after the last one

Sounds like he's not going to be around to watch his kids grow up. That's not normal.

It's bizarre that a workplace would organise a Christmas do on the 23rd.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 09/12/2011 10:08

is it certain that they have? or if it is a party do, is it certain that it lasts for 2 days?

a two day party? just before christmas?

MollyTheMole · 09/12/2011 10:11

she does sound like a slag but so does your DP tbh, he needs to realise going on 2 day benders is not on when you have a family.

YANBU and I hate to say this but my initial reaction is that something has or will be going on between the two of them. If he is really trying to spurn her advances he would not be going on this immature piss up for a start.

takeonboard · 09/12/2011 10:14

Sound like this night out is the least of your worries tbh.

what is it you see in a man who wants to leave you with all the kids and Christmas preparation so he can go out and drink until he vomits blood

ljgibbs · 09/12/2011 10:16

Why would they be having a second christmas do if they have had the christmas meal last week?

Emo76 · 09/12/2011 10:28

I have never heard of a workplace organising a Christmas bash ending the day before Christmas - and overnight - and not inviting partners. Sorry OP but it sounds very very fishy.

Clownsarescary · 09/12/2011 10:35

YANBU but why why why would a works do be arranged on top of xmas?

It would be a dealbreaker for me if he went, he is going to spoil xmas for his family. He does sound like a tool by the way.

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 09/12/2011 10:35

I was agreeing with you until your teenage-esque rantings about the "slag"

Your husband is a selfish moron but you're no prize, talking about other women like that.

Flip

1 2