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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has cancelled my credit card - AIBU to be furious?

34 replies

SauvignonBlanche · 07/12/2011 18:21

DH and I have joint finances and have a joint credit card.
Due to DH putting the deposit for a car on the debit card rather than the credit card we are temporarily skint. Have had to spend saving for various boring domestic reasons but will be getting some money early next year.

We got new credit cards about a month ago when Barclaycard took over Egg. I signed mine, put it away and am now using it; DH lost his.
DH told Barclaycard that his was missing yesterday.

I have taken a few days annual leave to go Christmas shopping and went up to the checkout only to told that my card was cancelled. The current account is overdrawn and now I have no credit card. I did have one other card in my name that I hardly ever use I have discovered that this is locked too.

IABU to want to kill him?

OP posts:
TheFidgetySheep · 07/12/2011 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ginmakesitallok · 07/12/2011 18:26

So you'd prefer that he didn't tell the bank that his was lost and risk someone using it fraudulently??

PeppaPigHostage · 07/12/2011 18:26

Maybe he just didn't realise that cancelling his would also cancel yours?

mumblechum1 · 07/12/2011 18:27

Not really his fault if he told B/card his was missing, they shouldn't have cancelled yours as well (may be wrong about this, tho')

Original poster
SauvignonBlanche · 07/12/2011 18:27

The card never left the house, it's safely in here somewhere.

OP posts:
SandStorm · 07/12/2011 18:28

Are you absolutely sure HE cancelled them? If he told the bank he had lost his it could be an admin error on their part. If you hardly ever use your other card the bank could have cancelled that one too - they did it to me.

hellhasnofury · 07/12/2011 18:28

How has he cancelled your card though? He's reported his missing so barclaycard have stopped them both (I thought that was quite normal with joint cards?)

Pagwatch · 07/12/2011 18:28

No ginmakesitallok
Her dipstick dh told the company that her card was missing instead of his.

MissPentChristmasBudget · 07/12/2011 18:29

I thin furious is a bit of an overreaction tbh; he didn't cancel your card on purpose.

Pagwatch · 07/12/2011 18:30

It's not normal to cancel both cards.

The cards are separate with separate numbers and pins etc even if accruing to the same account.

I have cancelled my card and dhs has not been affected and vice versa

Original poster
SauvignonBlanche · 07/12/2011 18:30

He phoned them today after I went mad over the phone at him and apparently as he is the main cardholder they cancel both.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 07/12/2011 18:32

Ignore me. I am talking bollocks.
I read it was the debit card to a joint account nit a credit card account.

I know nothing of credit cards.

MissPentChristmasBudget · 07/12/2011 18:33

Ah. Did he know that when he cancelled his? If he knowingly left you penniless and didn't tell you, fume away.

SandStorm · 07/12/2011 18:33

Well, that's not really his fault then but you do need to find out why your other card has been cancelled.

I had a credit card that I never used and the bank took it upon themselves to cancel it through disuse!

chippy47 · 07/12/2011 18:36

He didn't cancel your card so yabu.

PeppaPigHostage · 07/12/2011 18:36

Pag We have joint CC and cancelling DH's cancelled mine too. They might not all be the same but our cards are identical except the names on them. The numbers you put in online are the same, though PINs are different.

EllenandBump · 07/12/2011 18:36

I think its not his fault at all, its the credit card company's. When my debit card on my joint account was being used fraudently online and i ordered a new one, my ex husband was still able to use his. Just because one of you have lost a card, surely it shouldn't also cancel the other card.

You should be wanting to murder the credit card company or better still make a complaint.

diddl · 07/12/2011 18:36

I think I´d be more pissed off at him putting the car deposit on the debit card.

Or did he have to do that because he´d lost his credit card?

I´d also be a quite annoyed at him for losing his card somewhere in the house, rather than putting it straight into his wallet.

Callisto · 07/12/2011 18:36

This is why I have my own bank account, credit cards, debit cards etc.

amicissima · 07/12/2011 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppaPigHostage · 07/12/2011 18:38

I've also had a card cancelled through disuse. I had a CC at uni that I tried to never ever use, knowing I'd struggle to ever pay it back so I kept it for emergencies.

Well, the emergency came but I hadn't used my card in forever and they had cancelled it. Since then I've made a point of paying for £5 worth of something every so often and paying off the amount just to keep it live so it really is there to help me out in an emergency.

Why don't they call you to tell you they are cancelling it?!

ginmakesitallok · 07/12/2011 18:39

So - what would you rather he did? He has lost his card, he should report it missing. I'd be pissed off at the car deposit thing too

notcitrus · 07/12/2011 18:45

We had this recently - I lost my card (account in my name), so cancelled it, double checking they weren't going to cancel DP's.
Of course next day he tries to pay in a restaurant and it's repeatedly declined.

Phone up john Lewis to get snotty.
No madam, the card was not cancelled or declined. we just place a hold on it so the shops have to perform an extra id check or phone us - nothing to do with us if most stores are too crap to train their staff to do this...

Except the wording on the PIN machine was 'declined'... if we'd lost any money through charges I'd have argued further.

Original poster
SauvignonBlanche · 07/12/2011 18:52

As we both know it's safe and sound in the house and hell is more likely to freeze over than him to any christmas shopping. I'd rather he'd waited until I'd finished, or even started, my Christmas shopping. He's used my card to get petrol as he knows the PIN.
DH tried to cheer me up by telling me new ones will be here on Saturday, just as I'm going back to work!

Misspent he didn't know so you're right "furious" is an over reaction, may I settle for: indignant / slighly peeved / vexed / disapointed.
Please delete as appropriate. Xmas Grin

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/12/2011 18:55

Look, if nothing else you can go to the bank, with your ID, explain you've lost a card but ask to withdraw cash. They will usually let you do this (the same way you withdraw cash from an ATM, ie., you pay two pounds per hundred or whatever). If it is the bank's error, they might even waive that charge.

I agree, I would be pissed off at him being so daft but I expect he feels as silly as you right now.

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