Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to email a local high school about their pupils' behaviour on public transport?

44 replies

ShowOfHands · 07/12/2011 16:43

I take dd to school on the bus and it's also used by students who attend a local high school. They seem to have free passes.

I'm not sure if I should be confronting them (I'm really inept at that sort of thing) or the school. Or the bus company? They're all in uniform so identifiable. The main issue is their language. Their swearing is really quite remarkable in that it outweighs the non-swearing. And their subject matter is horrid. Very explicit, vulgar sexual remarks and descriptions. Aimed at people they see on the pavement, fellow students, teachers. I mean seriously nasty misogynistic rhetoric concerning exactly what they'd do to women or make them do for them, v graphic indeed.

They also spit, litter, have picnics, sprawl over the seats in muddy shoes etc.

I keep dd right at the front and facing away from it with her distracted at all times but frankly, I'm fed up. As are the other old women who also use the bus.

I would also mention the pleasant, polite ones who help with my pram.

What should I do?

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 07/12/2011 16:44

Definitely contact the school. We would want to know!

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 07/12/2011 16:45

Yes email them. I have worked at schools where we have had similar emails and the children who take that bus are given a bollocking by someone in SM.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 07/12/2011 16:45

Contact the school for sure, and make sure you mention the good ones too!

HoudiniHissy · 07/12/2011 16:45

I would do, and actually have! Go for it!

glenthebattleostrich · 07/12/2011 16:48

Email the school. I saw a nasty racist little thug picking on a girl on a bus one evening (both in school uniform). I emailed the school and had a very nice email back from the head thanking me for taking the time and explaining they had a zero tollerance policy on bad behaviour when in school uniform. Having spoken to the girls parents later (bumped into them at a bus stop and the girl pointed me out to them) it turns out she'd been being bullied and the boy had been suspended.

RoryCeilingCat · 07/12/2011 16:48

I agree. As an ex-Head of Year, I'd have taken this very seriously and had serious words. IME schools take the way students represent the school in the community very seriously. And yes to mentioning the ones who are lovely and helpful - especially if their peers are being unpleasant. I'd be looking to commend them for their manners and not following the crowd!

gallicgirl · 07/12/2011 16:52

Definitely email.

Surely the reason pupils wear uniform is so you can identify their school in case of misdemeanors?

WorraLiberty · 07/12/2011 17:00

I wouldn't email. I would phone the school and ask to speak to the Head

It's more personal than an email and he/she would appreciate the information I'm sure.

Icameheretotroll · 07/12/2011 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

whatdoiknowanyway · 07/12/2011 17:09

I've done it to one school and got an immediate, constructive, appreciative email back.

I did it nearly 20 years ago to another local school whose pupils threw pebbles and spat at my car as I drove past. I got a very snotty letter(pre widespread email) back from the head saying that as I was unable to identify the boys concerned beyond saying early teens, brown hair, school uniform, the road they were in and the time of day she could sadly do nothing about it. She ended by saying she hoped there would not be a recurrence but if there was "a description please!" - her words and exclamation mark.

I did not send my kids to that school.

Original poster

ShowOfHands · 07/12/2011 17:13

My only worry is that some of them seem v lovely, polite, reserved, shy even. And I can't tell the school which ones are which as they're all just in the same uniform. How do they praise the good uns whilst dealing with the norty crowd? I could describe them ie the Rowan Atkinson circa 1990 lookalike is foul mouthed, the flamehaired, pretty one with the green rucksack is lovely.

I don't think they're from broken homes. They phone their parents on their mobiles sometimes to ask if they can do xyz before coming home and it's like a switch goes inside their brains "yeah I'd do her sideways, wet her up good and then fuck her over... hang on... hi mother, yes, would it be alright if Tom and I went back to his for an hour to finish off our science project, I'll be straight home afterwards.... okay, love you, bye... yeah then I'd hold her down and choke her with my..."

I'll compose an email.

OP posts:

Original poster

ShowOfHands · 07/12/2011 17:14

I can at least identify the bus they go on every day. There are only about 8 of them.

OP posts:

TeWiharaMeriKirihimete · 07/12/2011 17:27

A couple of times at school, despite being beautifully behaved , I was hauled in along with everyone else who got X train, or was on Y team.

If you mention that some of them behave really well, but some of them are awful the teachers will pass that on - and they will probably know who the troublemakers are anyway. When I knew it wasn't me, I knew it wasn't me and didn't feel bad. Sometimes it can be a bit self-policing as well, if there are sixth formers on the same service they might become more vocal in getting younger ones to be more respectful.

Sorry they are so awful though

Tuppence2 · 07/12/2011 18:08

This happened when I was at high school, and the head commented he had received a letter about behaviour at the bus stop and on the buses (public transport, not school buses) and we were told if it continued, they would take further steps to deal with it...
Some pupils called his bluff...
We then had teachers stand at the bus stop (to obviously have a rough idea of who got on whcih bus) and the head liaised with the bus company, so the drivers could pass on who the trouble makers were!
It worked, because although we knew of the teachers at the bus stop, we didn't know about the bus driver's telling the head.

So I would definitely contact the head. At the end of the day, they are on public transport, not a school bus

lifechanger · 07/12/2011 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieComeHome · 07/12/2011 18:14

I'd contact the school, but I would also confront the behaviour. Not in all situations, but I do say something to teens who are swearing in front of children, and I do ask them to pick up their litter, or pointedly pick it up for them and tell them I'm going to put it in the bin. About 8/10 times I get an apology, mostly from boys (I've had a mouthful from girls a couple of times, so I'm wary ....).

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 07/12/2011 18:23

Yes e-mail them. Mention the good ones too. The school will probably have some idea which ones are the trouble makers.

AnotherMincepie · 07/12/2011 18:45

Yes, email the school. And you might as well tell the bus company as well.

lljkk · 07/12/2011 18:48

I wrote a letter to a school about the behaviour of their pupils on the beach (massive amount of littering is what got my back up).
Did I get a reply? Ha! As if.
But good luck, maybe a phone call will be more effective.

NewBikeForChristmas · 07/12/2011 18:48

Yes, contact the school.

My school managed to get themselves banned from the nearest tube station many years ago. We managed to behave for about a week when faced with a mile long walk to the next on!

blackeyedsanta · 07/12/2011 18:49

when I went bananas at the local secondary school for having a child walk out in fron t of my moving car for the 2nd time in a week they were really helpful.

WhatIsPi · 07/12/2011 18:49

I have phoned my local school in the past for bad bus behaviour - not only did they obviously say something to them but there were community support officers for a few days as well visible at the bus stop where they all got on and were making trouble.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 07/12/2011 18:49

I recently did the same and the school never replied and didn't do anytnhing about the problem.

In my case, kids were completely blocking the exit from a pub car park, where parents park at school run time. Trying to exit the capark is an accident waiting to happen as you simply cannot see what traffic is coming from the right.
If you ask them to move, you get a load of abuse, and they also think it funny to push each other infront of moving cars.

The school obviously don't care.

WhatIsPi · 07/12/2011 18:52

I think if it was sexual in nature rather than just swearing then I would say something on behalf of myself anyway actually as I would feel it was sort of bullying me as well iyswim. And report it to the school as well.

Otherwise they get the message thats it is acceptable when it just isnt and despite what you hear a middle aged woman can actually say something without getting violence back although you may get a good shouting at.

bruffin · 07/12/2011 18:55

I emailed a school about behaviour on train and got a nice email back. They did quieten down a bit after that.

Flip

1 2