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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to approach Mum at school re: her mobile use whilst driving near school

29 replies

lolaflores · 07/12/2011 12:20

So. A mother of child at DS2 school parks a few streets from school. We usually cross paths on the way to school about 3pm. As she swings into the road, 9 times out of ten she is on the phone. With other child in front seat. She is usually on the phone on the way home too, with 2 more kids in the back.

I have seen her numerous times and have walked on saying nothing. But, I am a bit sick of seeing it. Once or twice is forgivable (only just) but she seems to be at it all the time.

Is it my place to have a quiet word? She does look a bit tasty, as in approach with caution, and that, but I am getting right annoyed with it.

OP posts:
AKMD · 07/12/2011 12:21

YABU. 'Having a word' will do naff all. Take her registration number and report her to the police.

Hammy02 · 07/12/2011 12:22

Maybe say something like you've heard police are being more vigilant in the area regarding using mobiles while driving and you're giving her a heads up so she doesn't get caught. Just to cover your back in case she's a bit handy with her fists! FWIW, I think people that use their mobiles while driving are vile.

diddl · 07/12/2011 12:23

I´d tell the police also-especially if she´s got children in the car-probably even more distraction!

Original poster
lolaflores · 07/12/2011 12:26

But will the police do anything tho? Is it the case that they have to see her doing it? And I want to tell her what vile bastard she is for the behaviour. But in a nice way. Another Mum said, she has been here a while, careful how you go.

OP posts:
diddl · 07/12/2011 12:33

Well she´s regularly breaking the law & endangering herself & others, so I would hope that the police would do something tbh.

ShellyBoobs · 07/12/2011 12:37

Police is definitely the right way to approach this.

I just can't imagine she's going to say, 'you're so right! I just didn't realise I was being such an arse by using my phone while driving!', if you approached her about it.

There'd be no harm at all in making a non-emergency call and informing them of your concern about someone repeatedly driving (especially with children onboard) whilst using a handheld phone.

The TRL did research on phone-driving and found it impaired responses more than drink-driving.

The police might not be able to catch this lady but they would be interested and would take it seriously, I think.

valiumredhead · 07/12/2011 12:38

Ring the police do NOT have a word with her, she is likely to be defensive.

poorbuthappy · 07/12/2011 12:40

We had a mum like this who has now left the school (and maybe joined yours?) I reported her so many times for being on the phone and having 3 kids in the car without seatbelts.
I told them the reg of the car, where she'd be at what time and they never turned up.
What to do? Confused

WorraLiberty · 07/12/2011 12:43

The Police can't act unless they see her doing it.

I'm not saying don't ring them, but with the huge cut backs it's unlikely they'll be able to spare a Community Officer to sit in a car waiting to catch her...more's the pity.

ExquisiteChristmasCake · 07/12/2011 12:44

It isn't your place to say anything. You're not the law enforcement. Report her if it bothers you that much.

marge2 · 07/12/2011 12:45

Yes, but surely they can get her address from the DVLA if they know her Reg. number and give her a nasty phone call. Pretend she has been caught on a camera in the area or something.

marge2 · 07/12/2011 12:47

....or you could get her number from the class list and call her while she is driving and pretend you were the local copper and give her a hard time about it.

lborolass · 07/12/2011 12:49

I see a man on the way to work who is also always on the phone and speeding, every day it annoys me (no children in the car) but realistically I know there isn't anything I can do. I know the police don't have the resources to lie in wait for individual motorists.

I probably wouldn't say anything to the other mum unless you can work it into the conversation in a light hearted way so at least you've tried.

CurlyBoy · 07/12/2011 14:24

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I regularly refuse to move off from traffic lights when I see someone behind me on their phone. They honk and I hold up my phone and shake my head and still refuse to move until they put it down. Sure, I've had some pretty irate responses to this but I'm not bothered. They're putting MY life at risk by doing this.

aldiwhore · 07/12/2011 14:27

Mention it to the head, be non-specific but tell them you'd appreciate it if they put a note out to parents NOT to use their phones... its happened at our school in the past, and low and behold, the phone using parents soon stopped.

Take the reg, report to the police, request that the police come to the school one morning on a purge... this should happen anyway from time to time.

I would probably shout say something. But there'd be no discussion, and probably an insult to boot and I'm not sure that's the right way to go about things in front of my kids.

Jajas · 07/12/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lolaflores · 07/12/2011 15:13

Thanks for all the input. I am going to work on giving her long hard stares when I see her.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 07/12/2011 15:37

Oh yes, because stares are well know for stopping people from using the phone while driving.

Either do nothing or inform the school/police. If you start glaring and then decide to inform the police it is going to look pretty obvious who told them!

Pendeen · 07/12/2011 15:39

" .. She does look a bit tasty, as in approach with caution .." says it all as regards approaching the idiot.

I agree with the " report her " suggestions.

Such a flagrant disregard for her safety and that of other people - including her own children - strongly indicates she would not care one little bit for your opinions or criticism.

WorraLiberty · 07/12/2011 15:42

Yes, but surely they can get her address from the DVLA if they know her Reg. number and give her a nasty phone call. Pretend she has been caught on a camera in the area or something

or you could get her number from the class list and call her while she is driving and pretend you were the local copper and give her a hard time about it

Marge Can you just imagine if the police went to the bother of contacting the DVLA to pull details of the general public, so they can phone them and tell blatant lies every time they get a call about someone chatting on a mobile while driving? Confused

And as for encouraging the OP to impersonate a Police Officer (a serious offence) well words fail me....I'm not even going to ask what you mean about a 'class list' with parent's phone numbers on.

acorntree · 07/12/2011 15:46

Do you have a school newsletter - I agree with aldi about mentioning it to the head - if she can put a note in the newsletter about how dangerous, unacceptable and illegal it is to be chatting on the phone when driving round the school, it might help...

Yankeecandlequeen · 07/12/2011 16:02

I'd mention it to the police. Esp when she's near a school...go on about the kids being in danger etc. Mention to the police then you've actualy done something. You can't say that you didn;t try.

I often see people on their mobiles whilst driving & I use my hand to show a yapping gesture.

Then I'm a gobby cow & I'd propably go up to her & as whether she gives a fuck about others whilst giving some poor sod some verbal diarrhoea down the phone.

Avenged · 07/12/2011 16:22

Do you have a digital camera or a mobile you could catch her doing this on? If the police won't do anything about it, then could you get the email address of the local station/area HQ and email footage or pictures of her driving and using the phone. That way there is evidence and she can't deny doing it.

HTH

Avenged · 07/12/2011 16:23

Preferrably catch her discreetly so she'll be at a loss as to who did it.

BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers · 07/12/2011 16:33

Dunno.

Does she look the sort to take kindly to advice or the sort to rearrange your face?