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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to smirk at this display of loud parenting at school today?

154 replies

ItsSnowDarling · 06/12/2011 23:49

Picture the scene - End of the day outside reception. Parent who is well known for parenting loudly and ensuring everyone knows how advanced her son is arrives.

Examples of loud parenting in the past include:

  • her son always carries his reading book in his hand so we can all see which one it is, instead of putting it in his bag like the rest of us.
  • talking loudly to the teacher daily about his achievements.
  • inviting children over for "reading" dates when they were in nursery!
  • singing Jolly Phonics in the playground.

Anyway tomorrow is the nativity, of course we all know that her son will be playing Joseph, so did she really need to throw her arms open as she arrived and exclaim loudly "I'm here, where's Joseph" - I managed to hold back the snort, but I really struggled with the smirk, which may have been a bit too obvious.

So was I reasonable or is the truth that I am just jealous that her DS is far superior to mine?

OP posts:
AnotherMincepie · 07/12/2011 19:52

Shock Must be bad enough to have fertility problems without people saying things like that.

"Those sorts of mothers (in my experience) are usually those who have had trouble conceiving"

Fecklessdizzy · 07/12/2011 20:01

Oh, how this takes me back ( aged crone emoticon ) DS1 was a donkey in his first nativity ... He refused to wear his ears, poked all the other animals and was eventually removed from view by the long arm of the reception class teacher who presumably sat on him backstage until the production was over.

I thought DS2 was going to redeem the family honour when he was chosen as Joseph ... Right up to the bit where Mary loudly refused to hold his hand ( in front of the assembled multitudes ) as he'd been picking his nose! Blush

We has the loud parent to end them all at pre-school - Her daughter was reading Harry Potter ( allegedly ) while all our megre sprogs were still struggling to string three words together [hmmm]

Fecklessdizzy · 07/12/2011 20:03

Oi! Where's my sceptical face!

Pixel · 07/12/2011 20:06

Why does it matter what someone else does? Maybe she's doing these things because her son enjoys school and learning, and not to impress anyone else

Mmm, well I'm pretty sure the person I mentioned earlier is trying to impress everyone else. Last time we met, at a birthday party, she shouted down the restaurant table, in front of everyone "Pixel, I missed you at the Evening of Excellence AGAIN this year".

Pixel · 07/12/2011 20:09

I didn't even know there was such a thing as an Evening of Excellence until she started going on about the tedium of having to sit through it yet again, mainly because dd has never been invited!

Original poster
ItsSnowDarling · 07/12/2011 20:11

Why does it matter what someone else does? Maybe she's doing these things because her son enjoys school and learning, and not to impress anyone else

No, it I'd quite clear that she thinks she has the best child in the class and she wants the rest of us to know it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsSnowDarling · 07/12/2011 20:12
  • sorry - no it's - predictive text has failed me.
OP posts:
Original poster
ItsSnowDarling · 07/12/2011 20:16

Pixel - while having a parenting wobble a few weeks ago I said to DH that I just wanted them to excel at something, anything, monopoly would do - he gave me a friendly slap and reminded me that I had given permission years ago if I ever spouted any parenting nonsense!

OP posts:
AnotherMincepie · 07/12/2011 20:30

Is it possible she's putting on a front to avoid small talk and hide shyness, but going OTT in the process?

Original poster
ItsSnowDarling · 07/12/2011 20:41

Really Mincepie, I appreciate that you are trying to find her good points, but shy isn't a word that immediately springs to mind!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/12/2011 20:42

If it's to hide shyness, AnotherMincepie , sounds like she should get her own nomination in next years oscars, she's doing a sterling job!

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 07/12/2011 20:46

Mincepie - it reflects well on you that you're trying to be so charitable. Grin

I am shy IRL and find initiating small-talk difficult; this is the LAST way on earth I would behave.

PontyMython · 07/12/2011 21:06

I probably sounded über loud earlier - thankfully nobody else was in the restaurant loo at the time - DH got me Despicable Me for my birthday and I asked DD if she knew what 'despicable' means - must've sounded sooo pretentious to be asking that of a 4yo!

In my defence though she only knows that word because of watching so much looney tunes Hmm

ledkr · 07/12/2011 21:40

Hilarious.

I remember when dd was in yr 1 and we had a meeting where we were told about spelling tests.The teacher explained it was pressure free and was just to get them used to tests and learning things. For that reason they would not be making an issue out of scores.
A pushy Mum asked if she could find out the scores and the teacher repeated that they werent giving scores as such because they were still very young and they just wanted to keep it uncompetitive.Pushy Mum kept on until teacher reluctantly said if she really wanted to know she could see her at the end of spelling day each week.
Sure enough,every week she was there to find out the important results of her 5 yr olds spelling test and then asking us what "yours got?" of course we didnt know and told her so.
She moved her to private school soon after and then had to return to work full time i presume to pay for it.She spent any time we saw her after slagging off the school until one day i told her she was being an idiot as said school is amongst the top infant schools in the county and that she was very crass slaggin it off when our children still attended.
Silly cow Grin

exoticfruits · 07/12/2011 22:26

I would be very surprised if she was shy-she must be a nightmare to a shy DC.

WilsonFrickett · 07/12/2011 23:21

pixel I think an Evening of excellence is just a made up thing love or DS would have been invited, clearly Wink

Cherriesarelovely · 07/12/2011 23:26

YANBU! How annoying!

mumwithdice · 08/12/2011 17:15

WRT to sousaphone guy, maybe he was a musician and couldn't stand the inaccuracy?

Before I had DD, I was studying paleopathology. As a result, I cannot stand things like "The hip bone's connected to the leg bone" so I will be guilty of amending it to the proper anatomical term. I will, however, do it as inconspicuously as possible.

DoctorMimi · 08/12/2011 18:33

There's a certain type that always parent loudly, and mug while doing so to the bystanders. I then catch myself doing the same, as if it's a virus.

'Put down the spider, darling, he doesn't want to come home with us.' Grimace, headshake, shrug. Realise what you're doing and feel sick...

Ostia · 08/12/2011 19:04

I work at a school that my son attends and it never ceases to amaze me how much some of the parents - mothers in particular - of children in his class, try to undermine his achievements. I categorically am NOT of the loud parenting brigade and my son is a naturally competitive and hardworking boy but i never discuss his achievements (or otherwise) to anyone other than family, and he is very low key about them. Unfortunately this way of doing things seems to bring out the worst in the parents of his classmates. I too have had instances where parents have gone to great lengths to fish for information relating to his progress and excluded him from out of school activities. Obviously this is most irritating and sometimes upsetting for my son.

Oggy · 08/12/2011 19:24

Yeah we have one of those (I suppose every class does). Such corkers as she can never find decent childcare because no one provides enough stimulation for him, she looks forward to half term because she hates all the "sillyness" that goes on in school, constant comparing of EYFS and reading level with anyone that will play along etc

Triggles · 08/12/2011 19:33

Now see, if I heard another mum saying "put down the spider, darling, he doesn't want to come home with us," I would simply mentally translate that into "OMG put that wretched thing down I HATE spiders down down down!!!" in a mental shriek, and would figure there was a mother trying very hard not to scream at most likely is a massive spider waggled right in her face. Grin

scottishmummy · 08/12/2011 19:41

mother superiors perform a useful function =mirth for rest of us
sniggering at singing jolly phonics.so funny

motherwifeme · 09/12/2011 14:34

My daughter starts nursery in the new year, all this talk of loud parenting is making me nervous. Oh hang on a minute, my eye has just flicked up the page and seen something that I don't like or agree with.

Troisgarcons, loud parenting really doesn't have anything to do with having trouble conceiving. That is a really ignorant and hurtful thing to say.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 09/12/2011 19:11

Mumwithdice, I do the same thing with maths - there is a very inaccurate sentence in one of DD's favourite Disney movies and I find myself grumbling at it - quietly - every bloody time!

Paleopathology sounds awesome BTW!