WIBU to smirk at this display of loud parenting at school today?

[ItsSnowDarling]

Picture the scene - End of the day outside reception. Parent who is well known for parenting loudly and ensuring everyone knows how advanced her son is arrives.

Examples of loud parenting in the past include:

• her son always carries his reading book in his hand so we can all see which one it is, instead of putting it in his bag like the rest of us.
• talking loudly to the teacher daily about his achievements.
• inviting children over for "reading" dates when they were in nursery!
• singing Jolly Phonics in the playground.

Anyway tomorrow is the nativity, of course we all know that her son will be playing Joseph, so did she really need to throw her arms open as she arrived and exclaim loudly "I'm here, where's Joseph" - I managed to hold back the snort, but I really struggled with the smirk, which may have been a bit too obvious.

So was I reasonable or is the truth that I am just jealous that her DS is far superior to mine?

PMSL - it is my DD who is the competitive one, and I am a let down and an embarrassment to her, I fear. Age 4, DD convinced her best friend that she (DD) could read books. I only discovered this when friend's mother commented how impressed she was - I fear my snorting with laughter giggling gently may have given the game away .

I love the concept of "reading dates" - DD would go, and then sit there and say "well, go on then, read"

My mother was one of these.

I still inwardly cringe when I think of her announcing that I was "gifted" and a "beautiful pianist" when I passed my Grade 3 exam. True, I was very gifted at playing the chopsticks on the piano but everything else was a bit of an effort.

Uuurgh cringing now actually.

Troisgarcons - I obviously can't speak for her fertility, but she has another younger child with a fairly small gap, so number 2 can't have been much of a problem.

If we're talking about problems conceiving then my first took over three years, my second 13 months and third not very long at all, of course I think my children are wonderful and want them to do well, I worry about them some of the time, but I really don't care that much about the achievements of others.

Anyway i'm looking forward to the nativity later - anyone want to bet that she's there first to get a front row seat?

I am so glad I no longer have anything to do with my childrens schools! I cannot tell you how much I hated the whole school gate thing.

The only one I vaguely see now is Highly-Competitive-Mum at DS2s parents evenings ..... and I shall be cornered with her wanting to know if my DS3 passed his 11+ because her DS2 quite probably did! Then I shall be interrogated as to DS2s exam results .....because her DS1 will not have got anything other than A*s, probably playing for the England youth squad by now, assured of a place at Oxford doing something like Veterinary Sciences in Tetse Flies, whilst singlehandedly rowing across the Atlantic, backwards.

All the above will be carried out in a breathless way whilst she drums up business for her beauty salon - and no I don't want her waxing my fanjo.

Brilliant TG - do they not realise that they sound quite mad.

I am generally amused by playground politics now after getting quite stressed with DS1 and the pencil grip group! It took time to realise that these are a group of people that are thrown together purely on the basis of having given birth in the same year, and are not in general the people I would pick as friends (although I have over time found a few kindred spirits!).

I really must get the children up now - my one hang-up is that we must be at school on time!

I heard my very first Loud Parenting in Costa the other day.

A man was reading Peppa Pig to three or four urchins - you may be unfortunate enough to know it, the one where they take the goldfish on the bus to see the vet (who is a hamster, which is a whole other thread that's been done before).

Loud Parent: Then Mr Bull gets on the bus too with his broken tuba. But it's not a tuba Georgie, is it, it's a sousaphone isn't it? Yes, sousaphone.

I too, smirked.

sousaphone? I would have laughed quite loudly. Again, I'm horrible that way. My DD was well into musical instruments when she was a teenager, and I don't recall EVER having a discussion with her about a sousaphone! Can't even imagine a situation where it would come up, other than possibly "what's that?" "oh, a sousaphone." That's about the extent of it, really.

I don't get involved in the competitive parenting in the school yard. I have had a few parents ask about DS2's results on reports and such, but I side stepped it by saying I hadn't had a chance to look at it yet. One pushy person received a "I can't imagine why you'd need to know..." response from me as she asked me again when I was having a particularly rough morning. A friend asked me, as she was concerned about her child being told they were behind in reading, about what level books DS2 was reading, and I'm embarrassed to say that I honestly didn't know - I just described the books (those annoying magic-key ones) and left it at that.

What does it really matter what level the other children are at? I'm really only concerned with how DS is doing.

You can be sure that that DS won't let his mother out of the car when he gets a bit older! It tails off when the DC is old enough to stop it.

Ha I just used to tell the other Mums my gilrs were dentally retarded, which they were! Bloody piano grade wars used to piss me off too, talk about living vicariously through the kids, I decided it was better to just get a life.

Aaah every school has one then?

Ours is exactly the same. We had a meeting earlier in the year so they could explain how the reading schemes at the school works and how we could help at home. There was a power point presentation on phonics and a talk from the head etc. At the end the reception teacher asked if anybody had any questions.

Alpha, pushy Mum and Dad raised their hands in unison and when invited to ask their question one of them chirruped "we're just surprised but delighted that darling offspring is already reading even though the scheme hasn't started yet. But then we're book people aren't we darling?"

The reception teacher was bloody brilliant. Pointed out that wasn't a question in a v subtle but knowing way.

I also subscribe to the Worraliberty school of loud parenting. I patented loudly all through the carpark, leisure centre entrance and into nursery the other day.

"DS WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR AN ARGUMENT ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE GOING TO HOLD MY HAND WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE CURRENTLY WEDGED UNDER MY ARM AND I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU SCREAM AND KICK. EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT US. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU?"

I am pretty sure I saw some smirks.

Pixel - tell her you don't know because you can't read.

Kungfu & Worra - I resemble that remark :o

Annoying and irritating though this child of parent is, the main problem is the damage they do their DC with the pressure they are put under.In 10,15,20 yrs time you'll see a person with serious emotional issues.

'this kind of parent'

I'm sure my next door neighbours thought all my kids were called Noah

On a daily basis they'd hear me shout "NO! ARRGGHH!"

See, I don't go in for loud parenting at all. I get quieter and quieter and start hissing through my teeth. I call it the 'kettle' approach.

Had to employ it the other day in the supermarket when my dd started trying to help herself to stuff off the shelves. She was told once, told twice and then I started with 'If you do that again you won't be having the cake you made for your pudding. Do you understand me? NO CAKE.' This is about the worst sanction I can imagine - having cake in the house and not being allowed to eat it. So I thought she'd turn instantly into a quivering jelly and beg forgiveness.
But no, she stared straight at me and yelled: No, Mummy, please don't hurt me.

If you can have loud parenting can you have loud childing?

I retreated into kettle mode and hissed 'I'm not going to. I'm NOT hurting you. Will you stop that? I'm not going to beat you with an audience, at least.'

I look forward to being a competitive parent someday, but if my dd carries on this way she may not get that far as I will have had her adopted.

"loud childing" Love it! We have a LOT of that here!

DS3 regularly screams like a banshee when made to ride in the pushchair or the car (his favourite phrase "I wanna waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk!!!!"), but sometimes it's not possible (like when we're driving obviously or when he refuses to walk but then repeatedly sits down looking grass, a rock.... ).

We have had people look at us oddly or even comment on the noise he is making. They either get "he's not pleased, he'll get over it" in a cheerful voice, or the more snarky comment of "what's the problem, you've never heard a toddler fuss before?!"

On the subject of loud childing - DC2 will shout very loudly in response to a "please come here" request from me with "Please don't smack Mummy, please Mummy, please" while holding his bottom and looking like a child from the NSPCC advert - little monkey!

Oh I've got a MILLION. Mainly from the same parent...

At reading evening for Yr 1 parents: "Is it a PROBLEM that X just can't get enough of Roald Dahl? She shoots off and reads them cover to cover as soon as she gets a new one. Should we be worried?"

Walking home from school, child: "Mummy, where does the rain come from?"
Mother: "Now, X, you know perfectly well not to ask me questions like that. You're supposed to go home and look it up in the encyclopedia. Once you've done that, we'll have a chat about it"

Also: "We're off to French tonight, aren't we?" Then, turning to me: "She showed such an aptitude for it during our vacances that we had to sign her up as soon as we got back".

I do loud parenting, though mine is usually along the lines of "nooooooo don't eat that snot!"

ds did shout across the library about snot on his finger. I am hoping that his unclear speech will have confused most there, but one girl on the computer definately knew and was looking open mouthed!

Reading dates?! wtf?

Am now worried. Last time ds had a friend over after school they started doing maths on the blackboard and spent ages pouring over the alphabet fridge magnets trying to sound out words. I didn't make them, honest! Do you think his mum now thinks I'm a loon?

School keep telling me ds is a very bright boy. He has a good memory I'll give them that but he still thinks he was a shepherd in the school nativity even though he was quite clearly dressed as an angel with the rest of his angel class so I think he might be a bit dim personally.

DS's finest example of loud childing happened on a shopping trip last Sunday. He had just created a huge poo explosion and I was desperately trying to clean up his legs, feet, tummy, bum, my coat etc using the last four wetwipes in the pack and change all his clothes in a busy baby-changing room. In a very helpful response to my ever-louder grumbles he pointed at me dramatically and shouted 'That's YOUR job!'