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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to cook a roast and put DP on a plate as he didn't come home until 9:15pm

65 replies

rotool · 06/12/2011 23:22

DP said he would be home early,cooked a roast DS's and I ate ours I put DP's on a plate and put it in the micro at 9:15pm when he came in. No,he wasn't in the pub but working but should I have cooked twice,once for the boys and then again for us at 9:15?

OP posts:

dancingmustard · 07/12/2011 04:41

Meals always taste nicer when kept warm in the oven.
I can imagine being pissed off having to eat alone all the time when the rest of the family have already eaten.
But it was late and so that is modern life.

mumblechum1 · 07/12/2011 04:45

Your dh is daft as a brush.

mumblechum1 · 07/12/2011 04:46

I frequently eat with ds at about 6pm & dish dh's up at 9 or whenever he gets home from work. He's never complained, he's just grateful to be fed.

iscream · 07/12/2011 04:55

My dh comes home at 2 AM. he eats on a tray watching sports highlights. If I am up (usually am) and I sit there, he doesn't want me to distract him talking, as he wants to see his sports highlights. I understand, I would feel the same way if it was my soap on and someone was talking.
Anyways, he is absolutely, definitely not being reasonable wanting you to cook a fresh dinner when you already made him one, you are not his servant!

LuckyRocketshipUnderpants · 07/12/2011 05:37

9.15 would be way too late to be cooking and eating dinner in this house. Unreasonable to expect the kitchen to be open round the clock! Also, once the DC is in bed, I consider that's my day finished as far as taking care of other people, and I pretty much clock off and do my own thing from that point on- if I felt like sitting and chatting to DH about his day while he ate, I would but certainly not out of duty.

PontyMython · 07/12/2011 05:43

He expects you to wait til quarter past sodding nine for your dinner? Weirdo.

Either he is a sexist git, or he has some issue about eating alone if the latter you could always sit with him eating pudding :o and make sure he doesn't get any for being rude to you.

FredFredGeorge · 07/12/2011 06:41

Was he really complaining at you, or just complaining because he'd been stuck working for 3 or 4 hours more than he expected and had been looking forward to a meal which is DP? And he just put it badly?

MovingGal · 07/12/2011 06:56

My DH and I have a joke about how the meals just magically appear in the fridge.
One night I cba was running late and he just kept going to the fridge, opening it, closing it and then looking again - and finally told me it was broken. I asked what was wrong with it and he said "My tea isn't in there"

Its not so bad now but there were quite a few years when he always ate later that the DC and I - but he was happy to have something home cooked to heat up in the microwave. (Bad luck if he wasn't)

valiumredhead · 07/12/2011 08:17

Well that must mean my dh is a dog then because he has his dinner heated up most nights as he works shifts. Cook twice??? He must be fucking kidding???

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 07/12/2011 08:24

When my dh is late he expects his dinner on a plate for reheating, and is annoyed if I have left it partly prepared so that he can have it 'fresh'! I mean, how much more work is it to cook from fresh a bit of veg (already chopped and in the steamer) in the microwave than it is to reheat the same veg in the microwave? It certainly tastes much nicer reheated.

Sometimes I eat with him, sometimes with the dc. Sometimes it's nice to eat together, just the two of us, sometimes it's clear he needs his own headspace to wind down a bit, and sometimes I do, too.

Gay40 · 07/12/2011 08:36

There's a polite answer to your DH and then the one I would give. Choose from "I suggest you cook your own dinner if you are going to come home hours late" and "Fuck the fuck off, you misogynist cunt."

samandi · 07/12/2011 09:13

Yes,complained big time and that I didn't eat with him

You've got yourself a catch there! If this is for real, he's obviously incapable, entitled and selfish. If my partner complained like that the roast would end up either over his face or out the window, and I'd dump him on the spot.

Snorbs · 07/12/2011 09:14

To even suggest cooking a roast twice in one evening is flat-out insane. HIBU. And HIBevenmoreU to expect all that if he'd told you that he would be home early.

The fact that he has never cooked his own food in 10 years is also ridiculous. But that is a situation that you have helped create. So, for that, YAbothBU.

But if you know that he hates eating on his own would it have killed you to at least sit with him?

Shutupanddrive · 07/12/2011 09:21

He is a twat

mumeeee · 07/12/2011 09:33

YANBU. I often did this when our children were younger and DH worked late.

mumeeee · 07/12/2011 09:41

DH actually used to reheat his meals himself. He never expected me to wait for him to eat. My 19 year old daughter sometimes eats after her Drama club which finishes at 9. Even she either gets herself something or reheats what I've left herself. She doesn't expect me to do it.

SilverSixpence · 07/12/2011 09:42

That is ridiculous he is definitely BU. DH also reheats his meals himself (although always appreciates a bit of extra effort!).

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 07/12/2011 09:51

This is what we do every night! I eat with the kids at 5 or 6 and save DH's in the over for when he gets in at 7 or 8. At weekends I work so DH does the same.

He is being selfish- so he would rather your DS ate alone so he doesn't have to?! In my experience kids eat much better if they have a parent sat with them eating the same thing.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 07/12/2011 09:51

This is what we do every night! I eat with the kids at 5 or 6 and save DH's in the over for when he gets in at 7 or 8. At weekends I work so DH does the same.

He is being selfish- so he would rather your DS ate alone so he doesn't have to?! In my experience kids eat much better if they have a parent sat with them eating the same thing.

baubleybobbityhat · 07/12/2011 09:53

Well obviously yanbu, why are you even asking?

QuintessentiallyFestive · 07/12/2011 09:57

Yanbu. You have clearly "spoilt" your dp.

We follow the Scandinavian way in our house. Dinner at Tea time (5pm) for ALL the family together. (Dh works from home)

I would never cook two hot meals. I just wouldnt. I know it is the norm for many families here, but I think it is too late to eat around 8-9pm when most of the adults in Britain seem to eat.

Indith · 07/12/2011 10:01

He complained that you have cooked a lovely meal an dmade sure you kept some for him? Idiotic man.

Dh works away, on the day he gets home I usually make something in the slow cooker so it can be dished up whenever. Sometimes I eat with the dcs, sometimes with him depending on how hungry I am. He isn't bothered either way though he does like it if I remember which train he is on and have things ready when he walks through the door as he is usually starving. NOt I say he likes it if I do, not that he expects it.

snuffaluffagus · 07/12/2011 10:37

Jeeeeeeeesus.. does he live in the 1950's?

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 07/12/2011 10:44

What are you expected to do, Bluetooth his arrival time from his brain so you can be freshly made-up and dishing up a second, perfect meal for the two of you just as he walks in the door?

Madness. He said he'd be home early, you cooked for all of you. He turned up late, his was in the microwave. He is BVVU

startail · 07/12/2011 10:55

My DH would not get another meal cooked ever if he said that.
He wouldn't, he's a good cook himself and appreciates the effort. Even if he still needs me and both DDs to get him to eat rather than compute.

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