to be depressed for NO reason?

[depressedatxmas]

I'm so down at the moment, have been for about a week (this time). I think it might be hormonal (took map last monday).

I'm weepy, having loads of negative thoughts, de-motivated and just want to go back to bed. My house is a state and hasn't had a good clean for over a week. I feel ike such a faliure.

I have been to my gp several times, anti d's do help but once I come off them, I have more bouts of depression/ more severe.

With depression there isn't always a reason, bar depression itself.

Would you go back to your GP and see if they think you're depressed/need some more anti-ds or cbt might help?

You don't need a reason for any illness, if it's clinical depression it can have no reason at all other than you've just it and that's that - like a cold, flu, diabetes, thyroid etc. These things happen.

You wouldn't think yourself a failure if you needed regular medication for any other illness, so maybe consider longer term medication for depression and don't beat yourself up

You don't have to have a reason to be depressed. Its an illness. I agree with upwarandonward - go back to your gp.

I'm suffering the same as you at the moment. I just want to cry all day long, hibernate under the duvet, eat junk and let the home and family get on with itself.

I'm back on ADs and have accepted that I will need to take them long term.

I've been referred for CBT but at the moment, the littlest thing takes me back to the pit of blackness which I can't find the strength to climb out of.

Please talk to your GP to get some support in getting better. Maybe you need to talk to someone (a friend, counsellor, help-line, MN, whatever) about taking the MAP? I imagine its not as emotionally easy as taking a paracetamol (IYSWIM).

Take care

I sympathise. I am a really cheerful, lucky person, yet I suffer with bouts of depression. I thought it was PMS, but it went on for weeks before I went to the GP - more or less forced by family! My sister gave me some great advice when I was trying to figure out why I couldn't stop crying. Why would a person with a good life be depressed? She just said, 'you may never know'. That was some years ago, and I've learned to live with that. I take my little tablets, have struggled to come off them, and now just think that my depression has a physical, inherited cause. But I don't think I'll ever be sure. However, I am happy and contented person again. Don't beat yourself up. Lots of people have similar mental health issues, usually perfectionists they say. Try looking up all the famous high- achievers who suffer with depression. You are in the best company! Work out what's best in terms of treatment for you. Don't be afraid to bug your doctor, and let other people care about you. You'd be surprised how many people have exactly the same feelings as you. Xxx

This is the main stigma of depression. From the outside people think you have no reason to be depressed, therefore you cant be depressed.

Completely and utterly wrong. Depression is often just an unexplained shift in your body's chemical balance.. just like an allergic reaction, or a cramp.. it happens with warning and without reason. It can creep up on you, or it can hit you like a ton of bricks.

There doesnt have to be any underlying cause.

Things can end up getting overwhelming, and you need to talk, to someone who you know will listen, and may come up with good ideas that can help you.

It ends up being a vicious circle.. the house is a tip, that gets you down, you are down so you dont feel like doing anything... and you know that you would feel so much better if you could wave a magic wand and have a clear tidy house and a clean slate so to speak. I get that feeling quite a lot...

My solution to the house.

Pick a room, any room! Get some bin liners, some cardboard boxes, and some cleaning wipes. Get some lively music on in the background... turn the PC off and the TV off. Box up things you dont want to throw away, throw away anything you dont need. Wipe down all the surfaces, hoover or sweep the floor.

Have a sit down.

Pick the next room...

You are not a failure, and it isnt your fault. Depression and lack of motivation are linked and not uncommon, but you can and will get out of it. :)

To add to Squeaky, try to eat as healthily and regularly as you can. Get fresh air. Exercise will make you feel better if you can force yourself to be a bit active. And Squeaky is right- you WILL feel better. My dad told me that when I was a sobbing mess, and it is so true.

Thank you all. I will go back to see my gp, prehaps tommorrow. I know I'll feel so much better on the ads. I have been keeping it mostly from my family, will speak to DH about it tonight.

I have no motivation to clean my house at all or go for a walk or to go out anywhere. I will be forced to pick my dcs up from school later which will probably make me feel a bit better. My toddler is happily amusing herself (mostly). I need to make her lunch and change her nappy, if she wasn't here I'd literally sit here all day. Fucking useless.

YANBU. Anyone can suffer from depression, it is indiscriminate. One of the things that used to really boil my piss when I was in the midst of an episode was people saying stuff like "You are healthy, you have got a home, husband and healthy child, you have jobs... why are you depressed?!" You don't NEED a reason to be depressed. Some people become depressed through their circumstances, others become depressed because they are ill. You wouldn't say "AIBU to have the flu for no reason?" It's not for no reason, it's because you are ill. :)

Why do you come of your anti-depressants? Has your doctor discussed you being on them indefinitely? I came off mine in March this year because I felt much better in myself. However, recent anxiety issues have knocked me for six and I need to go back on them. Just can't face going to the doctor to ask for them. I should have just stayed on them as really, I had accepted that I needed to be on them all the time. It's not an admission of weakness to need medicine to help you. You just accept that you do what you need to to get by.

ps you are not useless.

Do things small and slow. Get off the sofa now and vacuum your living room ad polish. It will take ten minutes, maximum. You WILL feel better because you have done something, no matter how small. It's part of breaking the vicious circle; feel shitty because haven't done anything - feel too tired to do stuff because feel shitty - feel shitty because haven't done anything and on it goes.

No, not useless at all; unwell. I went on stupidly short walks with my mum when I was in the thick of it, just because I knew it would make feel a little bit better. I was knackered from not being able to eat, hardly drinking, couldn't stand the smell/sound/feel of anything. Nightmare. So I understand your lack of motivation. But maybe you could try just a little something on a day when you feel a tiny bit more able to? Ha ha! My mum even managed to get me to drink a couple of mouthfuls of Complan when I was improving a bit. Complan! I felt bad being a crying pain in the arse in my forties, but my family really rallied. Maybe yours will to if you let them? Depression is a hard thing to admit to, but it's a blimmin relief when you do. Really glad you're talking about it here.

Ooh, but don't feel you have to tell all and sundry! Some people have no idea when it comes to mental illness. I hear people making uninformed comments all the time. Unfortunately. Just don't worry about them; they are in blissful ignorance, but it IS just ignorance.

You HAVE got a reason OP - you took the MAP which is chock full of hormones - not surprising you feel down.

If it carries on I would go and have a chat with your GP but give it a bit of time first.

Hope you feel better soon x

I'm glad I found this thread. I go through stages of feeling really down and sad for no reason. I've got a really good life, I'm very lucky and i've got lots of people that love me so i've never understood why I have these phases. Something so little can set me off and make me feel down for days, sometimes nothing sets me off at all. I am happy a lot of the time and when I'm happy, I'm so happy and don't feel like life can get any better. But then I can just go to the complete extreme when i'm in a low 'phase' and I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. I haven't been to the doctors and I don't want to. I don't want ADs or anything to 'help' me because I suppose in a way I don't want to admit to having depression and also in a way I don't feel like I 'deserve' them as I shouldn't be depressed. Does that make sense? Sorry I'm waffling a bit, I feel like i'm constantly trying to justify my feelings to myself.

OK so I made me and DD some lunch and while I was up and doing, I filled the DW, cleaned the fron of the kitchen cupboards and cleaned one of the cupboards out. It was tough but feel a bit better now I have done that, just the rest of the house to do. Thanks for the encouragement.

Hi valium I think you are right about the MAP and this may well have caused this outbreak, how long do you think it will take to get out of my system? However the depression has been going on for years.

covermeup I was the same as you until I had my last child. I then thought I have had enough and need help, went to gp and got ads which worked pretty well. However I make the mistake of coming off the when I feel well and end up like this again. I would urge you to see a gp.

OP I have no idea about the MAP, but I think if depression has been going on for years then a tip to the GP's in order x

Covermeup, you sound just like me! I thought I would never get depression, because it's in my family and I'd see it coming, so I'd somehow be able to stop it in time. No. How wrong can you be! Didn't even know I had it until professionals pointed it out to me. I would cry on the way to and from work, but spend my working hours with an extra big smile on my face. I did not approve of my own weakness, so I just fought it and fought it. It got me in the end though! But like you, I am a happy person.

You have nothing to be depressed about? Well, diabetics have nothing to be diabetic about!! That is the way you have to look at it - depression is an illness like any other. Your body is suffering from an imbalance so please get yourself back to your GP - there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting medical help with this and it has precious little to do with how your life is going. Good luck with it.

Well I'm feeling really low now, head feels foggy and I feel totally drained. DH will be home in the next hour so I'm just going to start homework and baths.

Did you go to the GP? Are you feeling any better today?

Yes I have been to see my gp. She has given me ads and refered me for councelling. Feelling better than yesterday but still low, the tablets are kicking in, feel queasy.

Feel so guilty for cancelling my dd's activity after school but I ma just not up to it.

It takes about three weeks for the tablets to kick in properly doesn't it? So be nice to yourself. You can only do what you can do. You've already taken important steps to getting better.

Cheers whatever I will do, infact Dh has just got home and I'm up in bed.

Give the tablets a good month to settle down - I remember getting the most awful leg cramps with AD's but once they had gone I was like a woman transformed within 6 weeks.

I really hope you are feeling much better soon :) x