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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think CM shouldn't leave DS in a dirty nappy?

65 replies

MissIngaFewbaubles · 05/12/2011 18:21

because my supply ran out as he had a big wetting day today?

Collected DS from the CM and he stank. I smiled and said to the CM blimey he's stinky, has he just pooed? Se said that he had pooed half an hour ago but I didn't have any nappies left as she'd had to change him more than usual so I would have to change him when I got home.

I'm very angry and upset, how could she just leave him sitting in his own poo for that long? He's 2.3 and always tells you when he's gone and doesn't stop telling you until you change him.

OP posts:
AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 05/12/2011 18:41

I would be very pissed! At the very least she could of cleaned him up.

WhoopsyLa · 05/12/2011 18:42

She sounds rubbish and any decent CM would always keep a few spares. If not as someone else said she coul have emptied it down the loo....no way would I leave a child in a pooey nappy!

NatashaBee · 05/12/2011 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hohohoshedittant · 05/12/2011 18:57

That's ridiculous. She should have spares, or borrowed one from a another child, or put him in pants, or a towel or anything.

Have you had any other problems with her?

Are you often running out of nappies? Is it possible she was fed up of telling you and decided to make a point?

Also, if your DS is 2.3 and tells you when he's done a poo and then keeps on telling you, it's probably time to start potty training.

QuietNinjaMincepie · 05/12/2011 19:04

My ds is 2 and he tells me when he's done a poo, but he is completely oblivious to wees. So ops ds is not necessarily ready for potty training.

Mishy1234 · 05/12/2011 19:09

Yanbu. Having an emergency supply should be essential as cm.

Ilovepigs · 05/12/2011 19:14

I dont really get the outrage about this tbh. I would have thought its quite common practise

Dcs who go to nurseries are left to sit in their own shite until it is the alloted nappy change time.

My dn was regularly sent home in dirty nappies or when he was toilet trained, pants which had a full load in them as the nursery didnt have any sparesHmm.

I would not be happy leaving my dc with this cm but I understand others have different standards.

Original poster
MissIngaFewbaubles · 05/12/2011 19:16

Thanks for all the replies, I'll try and answer as many questions as I can.

We've never run out before, I leave 6 nappies a day, DS is there 9-5 so that should be more than enough.

She could have called me. I finish college at 4pm which she knows, the extra time is for collecting the older DC from school and a bit of extra study time so I could have been there in 5 minutes. There is also a supermarket 2 minutes walk from her house, I would have happily reimbursed her for the nappies when I collected him.

We tried the potty training thing about 6 weeks ago. DS isn't ready yet, he can tell you about poos but wees are another matter and after 2 days of not one single wee in a potty/toilet I conceded defeat.

Both her and her DH are registered CMs so they can have more mindees, however I have posted before that I'm not convinced he's always around. DS mostly seems to have a nice time but sometimes he seems very wired like he's been doing nothing all day. They don't seem to go out much. I still don't have a contract. We are looking at a nursery, possibly moving him after Christmas. Mostly because of today.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2011 19:20

Ilove, sorry if that is your experience but that is simply not true. Nurseries seem to have nappy checking time but change a child as soon as they notice they're dirty. DD's diary often used to say 11am - nappy checked, dry. 11.10 - nappy, poo. 11.30 - nappy, poo. :o

QuietNinjaMincepie · 05/12/2011 19:20

Erm ilovepigs nurseries do not leave dc sitting in shite if they're not due a change. You obviously had a crap nursery. My ds is changed whenever he does a poo and then at the set times for wees. What a load of rot.

Sirzy · 05/12/2011 19:21

Is 6 nappies really enough? Going off how they do nappy changes at DS nursery (on non leaky days!) they tend to do 4 normal changes and then any poohy or leaky nappies inbetween. (much more than I do at home!)

I think to expect her to go to the shop with all the children when you haven't sent enough is asking a lot to, although she should have phoned you!

Sirzy · 05/12/2011 19:22

Oh and i love pigs perhaps your experience are of shit (no pun intended!) nurseries. DS has certainly never been left sat in a dirty nappy at nursery!

zzzzz · 05/12/2011 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babybythesea · 05/12/2011 19:24

Ilovepigs - my dd goes to a nursery. Yes, there are alloted nappy changing times but one of the things they said at our viewing was that there was no question of leaving children in dirt, or even wet if they noticed. They said it before I did! So they change them at set times, but also whenever they need changing. I'd be seriously unimpressed with anyone who did different - as I said, my dd will be blistered and bleeding within 15 minutes which only gets cleared up with steroid cream so I would not be leaving her with anyone who couldn't change her quickly (as a routine - I do realise that there may be the very odd occasion when it might not be possible, but this has never cropped up in 2 years of having her looked after.)

Original poster
MissIngaFewbaubles · 05/12/2011 19:26

Um sirzy I did send enough based on previous experience. I have said that there are always 1-2 left over so how is that not enough?

It was unfortunate that we ran out today but it hasn't happened before so I couldn't foresee it happening in the normal run of things.

I didn't necessarily expect her to go to the shop, but rather do anything other than leave my son sitting in a poo filled nappy so he now has a very sore bottom.

OP posts:
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/12/2011 19:27

who go to nurseries are left to sit in their own shite until it is the alloted nappy change time.

bollocks

Original poster
MissIngaFewbaubles · 05/12/2011 19:28

zzzzzz, I know, that's what is scaring me tbh. I am trying not to be melodramatic but if she thinks this is acceptable, what does she do when the parents aren't expected?

I'm not thinking abuse or anything but well you know Sad

OP posts:
BrianAndHisBalls · 05/12/2011 19:29

our nursery has set times but if there is a poo inbetween clean up straight away obviously, thought all nurseries did...

rubyslippers · 05/12/2011 19:33

I think you need to speak with her

It's bizarre that she didn't use another child's and she doesn't store any extra at her home

FWIW my DS went it nursery and was never eft in a dirty nappy - even if I was standing there waiting to take him home, they insisted on changing him first if he needed

Toileting is such a basic part of childcare .... it's sloppy on her part and slightly lazy

RitaMorgan · 05/12/2011 19:33

YANBU, I would be very unhappy.

She should have had spares - if not she could have sat him on a changing mat with a towel in front of the TV for half an hour and called you to bring nappies with you.

I cannot imagine my DS's CM or nursery would ever do this, and if they did I'd be wanting a meeting and assurances it would never happen again, or I'd be looking for somewhere new.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 05/12/2011 19:37

Our CM has only ever left DD in a dirty nappy once when she was waiting outside school for other kids and couldn't possible change DD's nappy too. She told me as her bum was a little pink and we were happy that there's sometimes occasions where it's not possible to change nappies straight away when out and about.

However, I would be furious if DD was left in a pooy nappy when they were at home. Our CM has a stock of spare nappies and has even provided clothes when DD has gone through the spare set. I'd definitely be having words (or leaving if there's other issues).

Original poster
MissIngaFewbaubles · 05/12/2011 19:40

TBH given the other concerns we have I think we will give her notice. We saw a lovely nursery which is actually next door to our school but we weren't sure DS was ready for a nursery environment after I had stayed home with him for 2 years.

It's odd. I don't feel like I can talk to her about any issues, it feels like she would just dismiss me. Are CMs meant to have some sort of diary that tells you what they have done that day? I know the CM who looked after my older DC did, but maybe that was just her way of doing things.

OP posts:
Tenebrist · 05/12/2011 19:41

'You obviously had a crap nursery'

Literally. No child of mine would go to a nursery that leaves children with shitty nappies (or pants) for more than a few minutes - the stink is pretty clear even from a distance. Our CM never did either - we all brought a big pack each which lasted however long - if one of us ran out she would take from one of the others' nappy supply and then replace it when we resupplied. Surely that's the only humane option.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 05/12/2011 19:45

Has she given you a reason that she's unable to store extra supplies and spare clothes?
That seems a bit weird in itself.

I'd be making sure to put 8 nappies in a day in future, even if they're left over what does it matter? At least they're in there just in case.

Oh and re the nursery changing times one of my parents had only prev used a nursery for her older children and when I started minding her youngest was surprised that she didn't have any nappy rash at all in the first week. Apparently it was practice there to change at set times regardless of when it was actually necessary.

rubyslippers · 05/12/2011 19:46

The fact you can't approach her is poor

Trust your instincts and find an alternative

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