Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think she used my sons gift before she gave it to me, given this evidence...

66 replies

elisadoeslittle · 05/12/2011 14:35

SIL gave us a shirt, tie and trouser set for DS's birthday. He wore the shirt on the day, the rest was very very big. Her sons size in fact.

So, I log onto FB and happen to see her son wearing the exact same suit. Coincidence perhaps?

Except that I know, for sure, that she regifted my christmas presents last year from the state of the present and its packaging.

AIBU to think she let her son wear it first?

And if yes, I still have last years gift in fact, AIBU to give it back to her? Xmas Grin

OP posts:
festi · 07/12/2011 23:29

I thing you are being snobby and very ungracious, who cares your ds is one yrold, he will be in the suit for a couple of weeks once it finally fits him. I hate the amount of perectly good childrens clothes that get worn and thrown out. such a waste.

the gift is for the child not you. its no wonder she couldnt face being honest with you.

DooinMeCleanin · 07/12/2011 23:33

Almost everything my dc get for gifts is second hand. They write a list to santa and a list to the man at the second hand shop Blush

I fail to see what is wrong with it? I assume the suit is in good condition and could have been sold if she wanted to.

Bogeyface · 07/12/2011 23:35

I dont have a problem with re-gifting or second hand gifts. What would bug me about what happened to the OP is the barefaced lie.

Just dont say anything if you are re-gifting or passing something on, just give it. Who would know?! Lying about it leaves you open to being found out and the lie becomes the issue, not the gift.

Bogeyface · 07/12/2011 23:37

Last year my lot all wanted the same thing, which new was way out of my budget. so I got them second hand.

They got the gift, I didnt have to sell my kidneys to pay for them, everyones happy! Its the lying that bugs me,. Its so unnecessary. You dont need to say anything about where it came from!

Jux · 07/12/2011 23:54

It's the lie that makes the difference.

Pludolph, giving the pearls to your friend and tellingnher they were a present which isn't 'you' is absolutely fine.

Jux · 07/12/2011 23:55

Oh, and opening a cd/DVD just because you want to see it before you give it is not on. As soon as you take the cellophane off it is second hand.

JamieComeHome · 08/12/2011 16:57

I wouldn't take cellophane off. I have some standards! Wink

HairyNigel · 08/12/2011 17:23

I can see why you're a bit miffed she didn't mention it was second hand but does it really matter? As long as it's in good condition with no obvious wear and tear I would be happy with it. Kid's clothes can be so expensive and they hardly get any use, I can't see a problem with passing them down.

MerylStrop · 08/12/2011 17:26

so what?

MuddlingMackem · 08/12/2011 17:57

Bogeyface Wed 07-Dec-11 22:52:41

Watching it because you want to see it, not to check it.

lifechanger · 08/12/2011 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oggy · 08/12/2011 18:20

a) she may have bought one for her son and loved it so much she thought it would be lovely for your son - I have actually done this before with neices and nephews so you really don't know that she has given you her cast offs

b) if you like the suita nd it is in perfect "as new" condition then can't see it matters a jot if it was already worn. If she was trying to sell it as "new" then yes, but it was a gift. I would never question the origins of a gift (within reason). If I liked it I would be grateful to receive it and enjoy it, if I didn't like it I would still be grateful to receive it but perhaps find an alternative use for it...

JamieComeHome · 08/12/2011 18:45

lifechanger. My thoughts exactly

PludolphTheRedNosedReindeer · 08/12/2011 19:52

Thanks, Jux. That's her birthday sorted, then! Xmas Smile

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 08/12/2011 21:19

Aaah maybe she hasn't can't afford big present at the moment? She would have been better giving you clothes and saying her son has grown out of them and then just buying something for few pounds. I wouldnt embarrass her as she may feel bad enough. My brother never bought my son a present this year, he said he would give me a tenner but it never materialised. I still bought both his sons. Honestly won't matter to you in a few weeks but it's annoying at the time :)

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 08/12/2011 21:19

Aaah maybe she hasn't can't afford big present at the moment? She would have been better giving you clothes and saying her son has grown out of them and then just buying something for few pounds. I wouldnt embarrass her as she may feel bad enough. My brother never bought my son a present this year, he said he would give me a tenner but it never materialised. I still bought both his sons. Honestly won't matter to you in a few weeks but it's annoying at the time :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page