How to "ask" for money at a Christening

[ConnorCamden]

My best friend had twins in July. She has a large family and the twins were the first babies born on both sides of the family in 10+ years. They were spoilt rotten at birth, been bought enough clothes and toys to last them until they are at least 12 months old.

The twins are being Christened in January. As friend knows they will have loads bought for them at Christmas too, she would like to ask that instead of people buying gifts for the twins when they are Christened, to please donate money for their accounts for when they are 18. Now, friend does not like to outright ASK for things or presume that the twins will get, but it's obvious they will. How can you go about tactically asking for money instead of gifts, without it sounding like she assumes the twins will get anything at all?

Sorry, it would be naff beyond all imagining. Plus, I generally only buy a little token for a christening gift (eg Beatrix Potter book) but would feel bad about only putting a fiver in a card. If someone in my friendship group asked for this, there would be much whispering behind their backs about grasping tackiness.

"there would be much whispering behind their backs about grasping tackiness"

What a kind group of "friends" Why not just say things to people's face or not at all?

Mean I know but much along the same lines as the best bit of a dinner party is picking it apart in the taxi on the way home .

And I really don't think anyone would say anything face to face to friends who were rude enough to ask for money for a christening, but there would definitely be comments made between guests (in the same way as there is for an exceptionally grabby wedding list etc). But it may that my friends and I are particularly horrid...

I think it would be unreasonable to ask for money, yes. Seems as the twins "have everything", a little note to those invited saying "no gifts please, but as an alternative please donate to such and such charity if you so wish". Christening gifts are usually a little keepsake aren't they? I can't see how it could be equated to a financial substitute without appearing rude or greedy.

If they don't want gifts (which I can appreciate) rather than asking for money wouldn't it be better to ask people to donate to a charity, or to the church where the christening is taking place.

I think asking for money is awful and hate it, as it presumes that people are actually going to give something. Sometimes people can't afford enough for a voucher, or cash, and put time and effort into making something which, won't be worth much, but might be valued in effort (or something similar), god i'm sounding like a right hippy.