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Original poster

How to "ask" for money at a Christening

80 replies

ConnorCamden · 04/12/2011 19:46

My best friend had twins in July. She has a large family and the twins were the first babies born on both sides of the family in 10+ years. They were spoilt rotten at birth, been bought enough clothes and toys to last them until they are at least 12 months old.

The twins are being Christened in January. As friend knows they will have loads bought for them at Christmas too, she would like to ask that instead of people buying gifts for the twins when they are Christened, to please donate money for their accounts for when they are 18. Now, friend does not like to outright ASK for things or presume that the twins will get, but it's obvious they will. How can you go about tactically asking for money instead of gifts, without it sounding like she assumes the twins will get anything at all?

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 04/12/2011 20:19

Asking for money is simply graspig. If she has everything they need, then why no state no presents please but feel free to support the church with a small donation. If its a religious event rather than a party for presents then this is the best option.

QuintessentialyFestive · 04/12/2011 20:19

The christening of my children have been parents, grandparents, and godparents, and otherwise just a few very close family and friends.

It is not a big party, it is a religious celebration.

SolidGoldVampireBat · 04/12/2011 20:20

Christening (or naming ceremony) gifts are supposed to be symbolic and lasting, if they are given at all. Sorry but there is no way your friend can ask for money without looking grabby. If anyone put it to me that they wanted money I would buy them a Lottery ticket.

Sirzy · 04/12/2011 20:21

I agree with the majority. I would only ever feel comfy giving a religious based gift for a christening not money.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 04/12/2011 20:22

She can't. That would be really grasping, and tacky. If people ask, (as others have said) then fair enough, but otherwise, she's just going to have to accept with grateful thanks, the little silver spoons and bracelets and things.

wigglesrock · 04/12/2011 20:24

No way to ask at all. I have christened 3 dds and don't have big dos. I have got presents from some guests, well they're not really guests more just family Grin. They haven't been overtly religious gift, no Bibles, a few money boxes and photoframes and some nice blankets which were lovely.

If you ask for money, then there is an assumption that you are expecting a gift. I'm scundered just thinking about it.

Sirzy · 04/12/2011 20:26

Also, I think to ask for anything for a christening is completely missing the point about being christened. Presents (if given) are a nice token by which to remember/celebrate the day but they don't really have a role otherwise.

If people ask her then fair enough but not asking for things.

KittyFane · 04/12/2011 20:26

If they don't want presents then they should simply say "thank you but no gifts". (with no request for alternative - money).

whostolemyname · 04/12/2011 20:27

Agree with everyone else - I would give a different type of gift at a Christening, - possibly religious themed or some sort of keepsake. No way can she ask for money, far too rude. And I normally don't object to giving money to people getting married!

troisgarcons · 04/12/2011 20:29

Not really in the Christian ethos to be asking for money and stashing it in a bank account

although

....30 odd rather naff "queen anne" fake silver money boxes in the shape of a teddy bear is also naffGrin

Your friend either has the wherewithall to put the word out that there is a trust fund up and running - or she accepts 23 bibles, several first tooth boxes and a fondue set Grin

KittyFane · 04/12/2011 20:30

FWIW a christening gift is usually a small gift from church isn't it?
For example a child's bible or cross? Usually given by the god parents only?

TheOriginalFAB · 04/12/2011 20:31

I am wondering if the OP is really the "friend" Wink.

GypsyMoth · 04/12/2011 20:33

Good god! I have never heard such rubbish!

They are christened because it's a faith they follow right? Or is it fit the party and the cash?

SleepyButAwake · 04/12/2011 20:34

When my son was christened, on the invitation we specified "no presents". So many people put money in cards, I began to think that "no presents" was code for "please give us cash"!!

TheSecondComing · 04/12/2011 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AriesWithBellsOn · 04/12/2011 20:40

I guess most people want to give something.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 04/12/2011 20:40

Christening?? You just cannot ask for money instead of gifts. There isn't a right way, because there just isn't anyway you can do this without being incredibly rude

chickensaregreen · 04/12/2011 20:41

I wouldn't mind at all if someone asked for cash. Perhaps she can find a nice poem on the Internet to put in the invites. Bloody hell, she has twins, I'm sure money would be far more useful than a hundred silver first tooth holders.

SantasENormaSnob · 04/12/2011 20:43

Poem in the invitation Shock

are you joking?

pigletmania · 04/12/2011 20:44

Christenings are not like weddings where money can be asked for, you give more symbolic gifts related to Christianity e.g Bible, Crucifix, St Christophers, or other religious type material. If people ask you could, but to tell people would be seen as being rude and grabby imo. Just accept gifts with good grace.

hiddenhome · 04/12/2011 20:46

How to take the Christ out of Christening Hmm

Well, I guess anything goes these days, so why not?

Xmasbaby11 · 04/12/2011 20:54

You can't ask for money. It's not British custom. Family may give money without being asked, but most guests would only spend a token amount anyway.

If the twins are being given gifts left right and centre, why do they need the money?

trixymalixy · 04/12/2011 20:58

You can't ask for money.

exoticfruits · 04/12/2011 21:11

I agree-it is quite simple-you can't ask for money.

hiddenhome · 04/12/2011 21:15

If they truly believed in the reasons for baptism, they wouldn't even think of asking for money in the first place Sad I honestly don't know why people bother having their dcs 'christened'. It must be some kind of Catholic throwback or something Hmm

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