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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to buy 2 year old twins a present to share?

44 replies

crashdoll · 03/12/2011 11:22

I look after twin girls who are almost 2. I found a really nice birthday present that is quite expensive but I know they would love. I cannot afford to buy 2 versions of it. AIBU to buy a shared present?

OP posts:

MindtheGappp · 03/12/2011 11:24

No - buy one present for them to play with together.

squeakytoy · 03/12/2011 11:26

If it is something that they can play with at the same time then fine.. if it is something they will have to take turns with, then bad idea.

whackamole · 03/12/2011 11:26

Depends what it is. If it's a doll or something similar - DON'T! They will not share. If it's a kitchen or something, then yes.

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 03/12/2011 11:27

I know, as a twin, how much I hated this when I was a child.
We were two individuals, but often got shared presents.
Possibly at 2 it doesn't matter, but as they get older it becomes important.
I remember being about seven getting a bike to share from our Gran.
That didn't go down well.

AKMD · 03/12/2011 11:33

What squeakytoy said. At 2 it should be fine.

randommoment · 03/12/2011 11:33

As a mummy of twin girls, if they can play with it at the same time, go for it. But if it involves taking turns, walk away... and thanks for posting here to ask! Got so fed up of share pressies that weren't shareable. LadyBeagle a BIKE! Mind boggles...

Original poster

crashdoll · 03/12/2011 12:09

The present is a really lovely puzzle. Would it be better if I got them that to share and then got them another small present each?

OP posts:

Original poster

crashdoll · 03/12/2011 12:10

If they were any older than 2, I wouldn't be contemplating it but I think they may still be young enough for it to be ok.

OP posts:

Jinsel · 03/12/2011 12:15

I'd buy them a gift each. A puzzle doesn't seem like a sharing toy to me

randommoment · 03/12/2011 12:21

Like a jigsaw puzzle? Mine would work together on those. In fact they still work together on stuff at 12. Maybe get a tiny thing each too, age 2 it's still as much about the size of the box and unwrapping it as what's inside. The best present for a toddler is still a huge cardboard box with the real present somewhere in there, topped up with balloons.

Original poster

crashdoll · 03/12/2011 12:23

It's a big jigsaw puzzle and they love them and often do them together. I have time to think some more about what to get. Thanks for the food for thought. :) I knew I'd get honest replies here.

OP posts:

saintmerryweather · 03/12/2011 14:39

As a twin, I used to hate getting shared presents as well - people still buy us the same present but in different colours. However, a puzzle is something they can do together so I would think its a good present. I would also buy them a small gift each as well to placate the mother rather than anything else!

CoffeeDog · 03/12/2011 14:44

I am a twin... and i have twin boys... shared present are crap... so are the ones where you had to sit back to back on the floor to open.... Or the 'same' thing in a diffent colour......... I have issues ... ;)

My twin boys have just turned 3 ... Different presents EACH - both can be 'shared' but only of they want too ;)

CoffeeDog · 03/12/2011 14:49

Oh and my very own TWIN sister bought a Thomas bike for my twin boys (3) to SHARE... i just thought it was my family that were nuts!!!!!!

MissPentChristmasBudget · 03/12/2011 15:05

Could you ask their Mum what she thinks, and what they'd prefer? I'd imagine it might vary; some parents are very keen on their twin DCs being seen as individuals, and some twins are better are sharing than others.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 03/12/2011 15:16

I dont see whats wrong with sharing a (obviously only actually shareable) present. I had christmas presents to share with my sister, and we're not twins!

maypole1 · 03/12/2011 15:47

I just brought my twin nieces a 100 colour pen set with two colouring books.

Can't afford to buy two separate gifts

Ragwort · 03/12/2011 15:54

Of course it is reasonable to buy a puzzle to share, and as you say you 'look after' the twins presumably you are a childminder or nanny? It is very kind of you to buy any present in those circumstances.

I agree it is slightly different for older children or for presents from close family members but most children have far too much crap stuff anyway so I always think shared presents ie: a board game are much better for families anyway.

As an aside and aware this makes me sound mean but we have an only child yet seem to buy multiple presents at £X per child for nieces and nephews etc whilst £X amount is spent on our DS - YES I KNOW YOU DON'T GIVE TO RECEIVE - but I like to think if it was the other way round I would casually say something to the other family - ie: don't feel you have to spend £X x number of children - IYSWIM .

iliketea · 03/12/2011 16:39

YABU. They are 2 separate people. I hated this when i was younger, no one else ever had to 'share' a birthday present with a sibling, yet somehow it's acceptable to buy one present for 2 children who happen to be born on the same day.

If you can't afford 2 presents, then don't buy at all, or choose something cheaper.

TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 16:44

I wouldn't buy a sharing present like that. And I speak as someone who had a sister close in age, not even a twin. You might just about get away with it at such a young age, but I wouldn't want to start a precedent. My sister was not a good sharer (and isn't now really tbh!), but I wouldn't do it even if the twins are. Even twins deserve to have their birthdays celebrated individually.

NICEyNice · 03/12/2011 16:47

I know a pair of twin, who I made a cake each for when they were 10 years old. They were over the moon about it. It was the first time they had ever had a cake with candles to blow out by themselves...

It was a really simple thing but I thought that said everything to me.

Kytti · 03/12/2011 16:53

As the parent of twins who will be two just before Christmas...

YES YOU ARE BEING VERY UNREASONABLE INDEED!

I know you probably mean well, but they are two different people. It's bad enough the poor children are overshadowed by Christmas, but then the old 'share this' is a dreadful thing to do. Buy them something cheaper. They're going to be two. Buy them crayons or bubbles, they won't care.

Gah - grumble grumble.

Ragwort · 03/12/2011 16:57

Out of interest Kytti - do you write two separate thank you letters to each person who gives two presents . Also where you do put all the stuff that you get for twins?

AnotherMincepie · 03/12/2011 16:57

Is there any way you can find this puzzle at a reduced price somewhere so that you could then afford separate presents? Amazon, eBay...?

startail · 03/12/2011 17:05

I have got big sets of Lego or Playmobil that sort of thing for twin family friends, knowing they are snowed under with stuff and wouldn't notice the number of things to unwrap and that the set would join the general toy box. Sometimes two small sets are no way equivalent value for money.
They got endless stocking fillers so small things seemed a waste.
Their presents are DD1s problem now as she is great mates with them and knows what they like.

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