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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about the uni lecturer and teenager who died on 'E'

35 replies

mebythesea · 03/12/2011 08:56

I know its a terrible terrible thing to have happened, and i think that the man should never have left drugs in the house when he was away... But
Why has there been no mention of the fact that the teenagers involved were rummaging through his private stuf,draws and wardrobe? The drugs were found hidden in the back of his wardrobe, they werent left on the coffe table for all to access.
I just think that these teenagers were up to no good and what the hell were they doing going through the parents stuff? All the reporting has been about how terrible the man is, without any mention of the fact that the teenagers were obviously setting out to steal his property.

OP posts:

Original poster

mebythesea · 03/12/2011 09:02

And i meant to say that its devistating that the girl died, really so sad, i had a friend who died in similar circs in the early 90's. So im not excusing the man or trying to say anything bad about the girl who died, but the teenager involved weren't as innocent as the media makes out. They knew what they were doing.

OP posts:

KittyFane · 03/12/2011 09:02

Is there a link? I haven't read this.

KalSkirata · 03/12/2011 09:04

Not read this. If the teens stole his stuff and then took drugs then its their fault.

kreechergotstuckupthechimney · 03/12/2011 09:05

I don't know the background to this, but from your post it does sound pretty U of the youngsters.

backwardLFDTpossom · 03/12/2011 09:06

Why has there been no mention of the fact that the teenagers involved were rummaging through his private stuf,draws and wardrobe? The drugs were found hidden in the back of his wardrobe, they werent left on the coffe table for all to access.

But it was mentioned - I heard about it on Radio 4.

northernwreck · 03/12/2011 09:06

I don't know. It's an absolute tragedy. He shouldn't have had the drugs at all, in the house though. Especially with teenagers around.
They obviously knew he would have some, otherwise they wouldn't have been looking.

squeakytoy · 03/12/2011 09:09

It does mention in this article that the items were rummaged for.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2069205/University-lecturer-cocktail-drugs-killed-schoolgirl-15-house-party-spared-jail.html

WhoIsThatMaskedWoman · 03/12/2011 09:19

It's not about the drugs really - I think letting your 14 year old invite a load of teenagers round for an unsupervised party is hugely irresponsible - it could just as easily have been an alcohol overdose.

festi · 03/12/2011 09:26

well it must have been mentioned if you have read about it.

IMHO a parent should not leave leathal cocktails of drugs in the house where their is the likelyhood that a teenage child will go rumaging for it. That unfortunatly is the sad truth about being a parent taking drugs when you have teenagers, it is risky, dangerouse and irresponsibe of him. I could understand the attidue if it were teenagers raiding the drinks cabinet, but a leathel cocktail of drugs is just not the same.

festi · 03/12/2011 09:28

The whole story just shows a lack of parenting and barrieres from the father, who goes away permitting a 14yr old child to host a party in their absence.

I hope this has shocked him to grow up a bit. The 14 year old can only go by the example the father is showing her, and that frankly falls back on his shoulders.

squeakytoy · 03/12/2011 09:28

I agree. And it was the daughter who went rooting and found them.

and he did inform the parents that there would be no adults present at the party according to the article.

I am also a bit that a bloke of 61 was still acting like a 20year old.. it strikes me as quite desperate and pathetic that he would be taking those sort of drugs at his age.

Having said that, he has since tried to take his own life,
Very sad situation all round for everyone involved.

festi · 03/12/2011 09:30

actually considering my drinks cabinet comment, I would be removing all alcohol from the house if 14 year olds were their unsupervised, as sadly drink also kills at that age.

Northernlurker · 03/12/2011 09:32

It's basic childproofing isn't it - when they're little you have to keep the calpol out of their way. When they're older it's the recreational drugs you may use or the guns etc etc. I feel sorry for this man's position but he should not have left the party unsupervised and he damn well should not have left his drugs accessible. I was at a party once where the mummy friend got out her cannabis stash - kept in a tin on a shelf so high that she (a very tall woman) could only reach it standing on the highest step of a small step ladder. I think that was safe enough at that point but when she has teenagers in the house I suspect she may conclude that the house is safer without that in it - and that's only cannabis.

QuintessentialyFestive · 03/12/2011 09:34

Indeed. Even though my niece is a perfectly sensible teenager (now 16), when it is her birthday, or she has friends around, and my sister is not present, my sisters wine goes to the neighbour. It is a sensible precaution.

Northernlurker · 03/12/2011 09:43

I agree about booze too. My dd is 13 and I won't leave her unsupervised for some years. Now would I permit drinking in my house. Underage drinking is an absolute evil imo. It won't be happening here if I can help it.

Northernlurker · 03/12/2011 09:44

Sorry - I do leave her alone. I just won't leave her in a party situation - not that she's shown much interest yet tbh.

AmberLeaf · 03/12/2011 10:35

I think its extremely short sighted to allow teens to have a party with no adult presence.

More so in this case as his daughter and her peers were just 14-15.

I wouldnt do this and I wouldnt leave them with access to alcohol let alone drugs! [nb there would not be drugs in my house anyway!]

I wouldnt allow my 15 year old to be at a party that had no adult supervision.

The teens welfare would be my first issue, then of course the state of my house after too.

He is ultimately at fault for having drugs in his home

However the girl that sadly died chose to take them, but being 15 you can excuse her poor judgement.

He is old enough to know better.

A horrible tragedy all round, given that he has attempted suicide I think its fair to say that he is remorseful and probably will be for the rest of his life.

My sympathies are with the family of Isobel Jones-Reilly.

I know someone that died through recreational drug use similar to this case and its such a tragic waste.

AmberLeaf · 03/12/2011 10:38

I also feel very much for his daughter, her life must feel like a right mess, her friend dying like that and then her fathers suicide attempt.

Awful, awful tragedy.

OldGreyWassailTest · 03/12/2011 11:26

The teenagers were absolutely at fault for going into his private rooms and rummaging. They had no right to do that, and one of them paid the price. No-one forced the drugs down her throat.

festi · 03/12/2011 11:29

but teenagers lack clarity and context in good decision making, it is the parents job to protect their interest and welfare, leaving adrugs around in the house was not fullfilling his duty to these kids.

OldGreyWassailTest · 03/12/2011 11:35

But teenagers also know right from wrong. And that is not "clarity and context in good decision making".

festi · 03/12/2011 11:37

of course they do but they also go by the example set, so if you are set the example that drugs are acceptable then you only have your self to blame when they become curious about taking your stash.

festi · 03/12/2011 11:38

so that is clarity and context

OldGreyWassailTest · 03/12/2011 11:41

Crap. They also see kitchen knives being used, and bleach - they didn't stab each other and they didn't drink the bleach.

If they go by the example set, are you saying that drugs were being taken/acceptable by all the parents whose children were at the party?

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 03/12/2011 11:52

I don't blame the teenagers.

The lecturer's daughter obviously knew her dad was a druggie otherwise she wouldn't have been rooting around for his stash.

If your parent openly takes drugs I think you can be forgiven for not seeing them as a Bad Thing.

A lot of kids experiment with alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. I think the adults that let them obtain these things (shop-keepers, older kids buying it on their behalf, irresponsible parents, etc.) and people who normalise it that are to blame. A 15 year old is still a child.

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