AIBU...to consider quitting my job and going on benefits for the first year of DC's life?

[ConfusedPreggo]

Namechanged.

Am single, young-ish, and pregnant. My job is ok, but not extremely lucrative nor satisfying. I live in a country where there is no mandatory maternity leave, and none of it paid. I would be able to take 5 weeks at my current job maximum.

I studied child development at university and have longed for a child of my own for quite awhile, but the thought of having to leave them at 5 weeks in full time nursery is making me seriously .

If I quit my job, I could go on benefits as a single mother, and there is an initiative in the town I live in for single mothers to live independently yet in a group of flats where they provide full-time education (free) and you can take the children with you to the uni classes. I would like to retrain, although that will take 2 years. I really, really want to be home as long as possible, 12 months ideally, although I suppose 6 months would be ok as it's what I'm used to being a British ex-pat. My elderly mother lives here to provide me with emotional support and occasionaly babysitting, although she is not able to care for an infant full time or even part time.

AIBU? I will take the flaming if so. Just the thought of leaving my helpless tiny baby in nursery (0 nannies here, literally) makes me so so so

No need to feel pity.

Those of us who returned to work when our babies were 3 months, or 6 months, due to shorter maternity leave , now have strapping great teenagers or adult children who are happy, successful and emotionally in tune. Oh and we have careers too. So thanks for the thought- but honestly, no need!

(in response to rainbows pity)

ranbowbrite hugely patronising....and yes it's ok, I'll cope without your pity...hey even though I work for the NHS I still have a career as well as 2 healthy happy children!

The only developed country i can think of without any maternity leave is the US and i cant really see the states having a benefit program which will allow her to live on benefits through choice.

A cult?

I imagine the OP is talking about a locally run charity.

Is there no unemployment benefit in, say, the US? Is that why people are sceptical?

I thought the US but what doesn't make sense is that a country with terrible maternity benefits also has a poor provison for childcare (no choice of provider type, only nurseries?) in a capitalist culture the industry around childcare would explode with such policies. Obv this isn't the case in the US.

Go for it do what is best for you and your child, don't worry about what others think.

Doesn't sound like the US to me' either . Don't think the OP is going to enlighten us though!!

articles.southbendtribune.com/2011-03-20/news/29165421_1_single-parents-emu-college-degree is the only similar thing I can find, though I expect OP is in the US as that's the only place with such crappy maternity rights (other than the third world- and the UK really is not generous in terms of benefits compared to most of Europe, at least, which is where we should be comparing to rather than developing countries or the uncivilised US). OP, I think it sounds great if you qualify for it. I wish there were more programmes like that! Don't listen to the bitter 'taxpayers money' crowd who think everyone should be martyred to their fake morals. Real morality recognises childcare as work and rewards it accordingly.

Pmsl

Do you live in Greece?

your are def BU. you choose to have a child and choose to leave work. fine. but dont make the rest of us pay for you to be at home with your child. cheek!!

and with the amount of replies saying go for it, i would, i have done it .... no wonder welfare systems are under pressure.

Ginger Greece has 6 months of maternity (given that you have worked for more than a year and albeit at a percentage of your previous wage).
University is free in Greece and you could conceivably go into the lecture theatre with a baby (though the cigarette smoke might be a problem...)

I am guessing it is the US? I cannot think of anywhere else. But ack to the point, OP you need to make sure that before you quit your job you find out if you are actually entitled to any reduced hours/childcare from work. I know work places here where the employer thought it more worthwhile to employ a nursery nurse and have mothers come back to work early (with 90 mins a day on top of lunch breaks etc to breastfeed and be with their babies). Not a mother yet, so not sure if that is more torture...

Also reduced hours or working from home? Just ideas. All the best with the pregnancy.

.... And quite apart from any other arguments, you'll find I you do the research op that a child brought up by a parent in employment is likely to have better outcomes in terms of education and later success than a child with an unemployed mum on benefits. This isn't all about YOU, and your desires, its about raising another person, providing them with the best deal possible. You are still the primary carer whether you work or not, your child will still love you and its father more than anyone else. After all, kids of unemployed parents don't feel more loved or bonded just by having their parents around 24/7! You sound as though you have a very naive approach to all this... 'i love babies, I want a baby, I want to take it to uni with me....' Think about the long term and how you intend to raise your child.