''I want to hurt my baby'' AIBU?

[BumWiper]

I saw a programme advertised with the title ''I want to hurt my baby'' that is supposed to detail womens experiences of PND.
AIBU to think that the title is extremely offensive to anyone who has suffered PND?
In fact only a small percentage of PND sufferers experience this feeling but is in fact a symptom of extreme PND.

I think it's a helpful title actually, because it's speaking the unspeakable (witness so many people on here saying 'I didn't want to' - embarrassed, even in front of a virtual audience).

Who's going to watch a show called 'I had a baby and felt a bit down'?

I am hoping that it will reveal some of the realities of post natal life, and lead to some help all round. Otherwise it becomes 'well, I only wanted to kill MYSELF, not my baby' as if that's somehow OK, which it's not. PND is horrendous, but solveable...it's is a hormonal imbalance (albeit sometimes exacerbated by lack of help) - it can, and should be rectified. It's ridiculous we still have to suffer from it and it is so taboo.

If the programme underplays it, then it does exactly what we all do, which doesn't help anyone.

Grr.

Rant over!

i am torn, on the one hand its a very dramatic title, quite clearly aimed to shock and provoke on the otherhand it DOES raise awareness.

many mothers even those without pnd feel like throwing their baby out the window at times, but to have that fleeting thought when in the depths of sleep depravation hell does not mean you would actually do it.

i had post natal psychosis after ds4 and i DID have thoughts of harming him and my other boys :( mainly of harming myself but there were times that i fantsised? about smothering him, i woulndt have done it but when he just would NOT sleep and i wanted him to go away the thought crossed my mind :(

i do think there needs ot be more awareness and support for mothers and an understanding that whilst you can think something and have awful thought you would NEVER act on them.

i shall watch the prog before judging, when is it on, what channel etc?

I just searched the title on my sky box and can't find it

I've wanted to throttle both mine on occasion ... Not PND, just sleep deprivation.

It is upsetting, because it's a title that's clearly been designed to be as 'transgressive' as possible in the hope of attracting attention. And many (I don't want to say most) sufferers of PND will not have felt that way at all, and will be understandably angry that that's how their experience has been characterized. However, those who did feel that way may feel validated; after all, there is no greater taboo than admitting that you'd like to (in a consequence-free world) do violence to your child; I think we should allow the flexibility to take in compassionately the sense of what they may have felt, even if we have not.

Overly long sentence for a Friday night, yessssss.

WOW. What a stupid title - designed to make sufferers even less likely to report it. I had PND with child two, I told the midwife before he was born that I had no connection with the baby and felt like hurting MYSELF. I was assigned social services and had hourly checks at the hospital - I was made to feel like a criminal. I never had a SINGLE thought of hurting the baby and he was treated as though I were looking after someone else's child, perfectly looked after, nappies changed as soon as needed, feeding on demand, holding him... I just didn't bond and felt deeply unhappy in myself. It was made so much worse by the fact that the invasive questionnaires and response from the midwifes and social services made me feel bullied into LYING and saying I was better and not feeling unhappy anymore. I managed to answer everything convincingly enough to get them off my case, but it meant no more trips to the doctor and no help with my problem. Consequently, I never bonded with child 2 and our relationship is still, 5 years on, a very confusing one for me. I love him, I am sure I do, but everything he does annoys me far more than if his siblings do it and I have to make myself hug and show affection as it isn't natural.

This new show you talk of will only serve to make more people feel like this. It is terrible.

I was curious about whether this was well done w a title designed to draw viewers in or a daily mail style feakshow. I tried googling this (and checked on imdb). I then looked for "I don't want tohurt my baby"... that doesn't exist I couldn't find that, either.

[Hmm] WIBU to report this thread as trolling?

The programme does exist. I've seen it advertised about ten times this morning already while watching the baby programmes on Discovery Home and Health channel 254 on sky. It is an alarming trailer but shows the woman in therapy at the end getting help. I've got mixed feelings about it as I had PND very badly but didn't want to hurt my baby. On the other hand it is so taboo that just telling women that others have felt like this and they're not the only ones can only be a good thing. And it does say in the trailer that they are talking about extreme PND which kind of differentiates it but not in any diagnostic way admittedly.

Yabu.

This is reality for some ppl

The thing is a lot of women have horrific intrusive thoughts post-partum and if they confide in someone who is, shall we say, less than well versed in Post-Natal Illness they may think that ITs are wishes/wants rather than the absolute opposite.

I actually had a file opened with SS just in case someone got the wrong end of the stick and reported me. My file stated that although I had thoughts of harm coming to my children I categorically did not want to do those things and was NOT a danger to my children.

I felt like I was being tortured by my mind showing these things to me and felt suicidal in response to these thoughts. Part of my plans included packing everything my children could need (I even had a ebm stash in the freezer) and arranging childcare before going back home and doing anything.

Even when I had the overwhelming urge to throw myself in front of the oncoming train whilst waiting at a level crossing I turned the pushchair away from the tracks so they wouldn't see, checked their harnesses and moved them closer to a very nice looking lady (obv. I didn't give in to the urge but it was very close).

PND doesn't have to equal wanting to hurt baby, it can do as can extreme sleep deprivation, Post-Natal-Psychosis or even just plain cruelty (a la Baby P).

Maybe the title is supposed to provoke such a response, to get people to watch, and therefore, shake off the stereotypes.

Strange, sky must not be indexed by google. And a shame, we don't have Sky so I won't be able to make my mind up.
I wonder what the stats are on wanting to harm the baby? (My dark thoughts were about the radiator, and I am v grateful for a lovely HV who was there for me)