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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU want my boys not to continue Scouts?

63 replies

bubby64 · 01/12/2011 23:28

Sorry, bit of a long story is they went up to Scouts in September, as they are 11 this month, but, I have to be be honest, they are a bit immature and also very small for thier age. (they were very premature twins and still have a few physical problems) They were picked on at a Scout camp by a group whose ringleaders were a couple of boys that had bullied them at school, and after this camp, I went to see the scout leader with my concerns, and he went the whole 9 yards, had the ringleaders parents in and generally made a big thing about how bullying is not tolerated, how they should all look after etc.
Tonight, both boys came home wet through and covered in mud, and in tears. They had got hurt playing "takedown bulldog" organised by the same little shit child who bullied them before. Both my lads were targetted and a whole group jumped on them. The scout master said they had to "tough up a bit" or they would always be "picked on". Yes, they may need to act a bit more mature, but when they had a shower, i saw they were covered in bruises! Do I just leave it, or make a complaint again, and have the other boys say they are "mummies boys", or do I stop them from going all together

OP posts:
MrsMuddyPuddles · 02/12/2011 17:42

What about joining the leadership of the scout group, instead of just leaving them to it?

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 17:59

Excellent idea MrsMP

SoupDragon · 02/12/2011 18:04

"I was one of the most regular parent volunteers when they were in Cubs, but I work til 7.30 on a scout night, so can't volunteer there.
I also am a St John member, so I am one of those week after week people! "

Perhaps she is busy.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 02/12/2011 18:32

oh. Blush reading comprehension failure here, sorry!

2old2beamum · 02/12/2011 18:54

Am very surprised at Scouts attitude, my 3 DC's (all with Down Syndrome) had a brilliant time and all the scouts were very protective towards them.
They all went to Norway, Sweden and Germany on Scout holidays.

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 19:02

I feel that it is just bad luck-I have found the Scouts very protective and inclusive.

cat64 · 02/12/2011 19:05

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alemci · 02/12/2011 19:06

If you can bear it, could they go a bit longer. Are these nasty boys the eldest? Hopefully they may leave. Are your boys twins. My DS did Scouts and it was very good for him. he is now 14 and probably going on to explorers.

Are there any other helpers who could look out for your boys. One of our leaders was female and she was so supportive as my son had a different problem and it made the camps a bit difficult.

bubby64 · 02/12/2011 19:26

Hi. Thanks for all the input, I have been at work all day and haven't been able to answer
spiderpig I do not "watch them shower" as such, he came out of the shower as I came into the bathroom, they don't worry (yet) about me seeing them naked, and I bought in clean towels!
I had a quiet word with leader, and he though the culprits had realised that bad behaviour was not tolerated, and had stopped being stupid, so he trusted them not to cause problems whilst he was otherwise occupied, he said he will have a word with them about how what they see as normal roughhousing can really cause injury to smaller boys. He also said the next couple of weeks are quite structured evenings, so there will not be any roughhousing going on.
With this in mind, I asked the boys what they wanted, and they have decided to keep going. In January one of their classmates is also moving up, so that will also help. Leader had also said if anyone was to leave, he would rather it be the bully, as he is always getting told to stop messing about, and how both he and the DC ( who was on the camp) admired my 2 forthe way they kept on going and helped others, even though they were the youngest and smallest there! that cheered my boys up no endSmile. Hopefully this is sorted now.

OP posts:
cat64 · 02/12/2011 19:29

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exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 19:31

Good luck-seems more hopeful. It is always best to work with leaders, if you are friendly you get far more cooperation.
As a volunteer, giving up your spare time for free you wonder why on earth you bother when you get suggestions of camera's and police. I would certainly stop there and then and say 'OK -you do it'. Sadly these people never do!

Almostfifty · 02/12/2011 19:39

Brilliant.

I hope it all settles down now and your boys enjoy themselves.

racingheart · 02/12/2011 19:52

That's great OP> I was going to post why should they leave? the bully should leave. But seems the scout leader is already onto this. Our troop has zero tolerance for unprovoked attacks.

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