AIBU to not know where the hell in the south of England we should live for the next couple of years?

[crazycatlady]

OK, so we have recently sold our London house (couldn't afford to keep it) and are currently staying with family in Woking. Ultimately we will end up in Cornwall but we don't think we are 100% ready to make the move immediately so want to rent somewhere in the meantime. We thought we would rent in Woking to be close to family but we absolutely hate it here (both grew up here).

I spend hours on Rightmove scouting out rental properties in random parts of the country. I feel lost and cross about the whole bloody thing right now tbh. Staying with family can only be a short term thing (for obvious reasons).

This is more of a WWYD I guess. I need help with the options. So WWYD?

• rent in Woking and just suck it up until we're all ready to move to Cornwall in 2-3 years?
• go to Cornwall anyway and rent there as a 'trial' run? (I am worried about being far away from London as DS is currently being tested for genetic disorders)
• rent somewhere nicer in Surrey, e.g. Reigate, Tadworth
• rent somewhere inbetween, e.g. near Exeter
• something else we haven't thought of

My work is sporadic and locationless (run my own consultancy) and DH is officicially a home worker but travels a lot. Mostly one nighters. If we moved away from Surrey he would be away Tues am to Thurs pm every week.

We have an almost 3 year old and an 8 month old. I want to be settled somewhere well before we need to think about school applications.

HELP!

Pandemoniaa - FFS, the first rule of Lewes is; you do not talk about Lewes. Hence why I said the area around Brighton. There's already enough DFLs and Guardian journalists to fill a hummous convention, we do not need more publicity!

I am RUNNING to findaproperty to see about house prices in Lewes! It sounds perfect!

Sorry CannyFradock - we won't be moving for 3 years though if it helps :)

Aha you see we already know about Lewes... and can't afford it! Well we could probably. Just. I'm worried that I might like it too much and not ever make it to Cornwall.

Sadly Woking has upped its game. I had a call from a special needs HV on Friday who was absolutely wonderful. She explained how the therapy system here works for children like my DS and it really is second to none. Already we are receiving SO much more community-level support than we did in London.

It's going to be quite a feat to get him set up with everything he needs and the ball is rolling now we are in Woking and registered with a GP. It now doesn't seem to make sense to move anywhere else for the time being, unless it is Cornwall where we will stay. I need to find out more about the support systems around Wadebridge.

hi there!
I am actually from wadebridge and was forwarded this thread by a friend.
We have just finished Genetics with my son-well not over but have results and further appointments with other healthcare prof are on their way.
How far are you down the line with this? Do they know what they are dealing with yet?
We have always lived here, so have gone through the process locally.
J my son is now 4 and a half and in a lush local school with a full statement. Before that it was the local cdc, before that he was in nursery with funded support.
He has a paediactric consultant based in truro, who makes our app's in bodmin. His Genetics is based in exeter, but made the apps in truro. Waiting wise, i don't think it has been long. We have invaluable support from his school, loads of advice.
There is also a children's centre in wadebridge.
Can i help you at all?
ezy

Oh hi! Thanks so much for your post!

We're not sure yet what we are dealing with. DS is still in the diagnosis phase, he's had chromosome array, MRI etc, lots of blood tests and nothing diagnosed. Suspect a genetic syndrome of some kind but no idea what yet...We are told the testing could take years. He's so young so we have no idea what kind of support he will need long term and whether he will be able to attend mainstream school.

Does your DS have therapies managed by a community team at all? DS has physio and will possibly need occupational therapy and speech and language too. Where we are in Surrey at the moment the system for community care is excellent, v organised. I'd love to know if it's the same in north Cornwall as this will really help us feel confident about the move.

My big concern is also about secondary education. I know that's a long long way off but I don't want to have to send him on a 25 mile journey across the county to get to a special school. Do you know anything about the arrangements for secondary education in Cornwall for children with special needs?

Sounds great that the genetics team and paediatricians run satellite clinics. I was worried about having to go to Exeter for everything and at the moment our hospital appointments are pretty frequent!

Sorry, this was very long... lovely to hear from someone local though, and really helpful in making our long term plans, thanks ezy.

Could you not rent somewhere a bit nicer than Woking itself but nearby? Chobham, Bisley, Lightwater - all more villagey but still with decent amenities and, at primary level at least, excellent schools.

Though I will admit I think Woking is getting a bit of an unfair kicking here. T'aint great but there are lots of way worse places and it has an astonishingly fast and regular rail line into London.

Last week it took me less time to get to my client's office in TCR from here than it did our old house in Streatham.

If we're staying in Surrey for a while we'd rather be closer to Woking (south side) as if we have to be in the area this is where our family live. They are in Hook Heath and Mayford/Westfield. And DD is settled at nursery just round the corner so makes sense. And the train. Yes the train.

We've just found a lovely house to rent in Mayford, 2 minutes walk from my mum's where we are currently staying. I think we're going to rent it for 6-12 months and then move west...

Hi!!!
Very long last week of school, so much to do, not all done, lol, but i am here!
DS has been ref'd for O T, and has seen a speech therapist for well over 2 years, they have obvs continued his programme into the schooling. Speech T visit him every 6 months i think.
As for organised care, we have been lucky that DS had a fab nursery teacher that helped us to the right people and it went from there. I needed the push as was overwhelmed and clueless! I believe we are getting all the help we should do, because she started the ball rolling, very grateful!
As far as we know ds will stay in mainstream, there are local schools with units, and i think the nearest special school is in Camelford. We are in wadebridge and ds use to have a taxi to bodmin for CDC.
You will obvs find that it is smaller down here, but as for being in the drivers seat organisationally (is that a word) (tired) i've never known any different.
Our Paediatric Consultant is fab and i can walk in with a "shopping" list of new finds with my son, or any worries and she will go through it all. Now genetics is over they are going to assess ds for autism, i don't want him to have it, but i have taken the lead in seeing a diagnosis is done as you've got to face what things are being spelt out in front of you.
Latest refferal we have is for ds heart, a check that they have to do in people similar to him-heir on the side of caution, but to keep us aware etc. We have a ref in truro and one of the consultants is at bristol ch hosp. But we will go there if needed. ds had a few ops in earlier life and one was up there, and even tho i travel badly it is a wonderful place!
Hope that answers a few more questions, please feel free to ask more and i will do my best.
Right off to be an entertainer now......wish me luck ; )
x

Surely you will be applying for school places in October 2012? So to my mind that says that you need to go to Cornwall now, and treat it as a trial.

If your older dc is already 3yo, will it even be Oct 12 you are meant to apply for school? Current applications for primary school in Cornwall are for dc born between 1st September 2007 and 31st August 2008? Was your older dc born between those dates? If so - the application for primary school for your older dc needs to be sent to your OWN CURRENT Local Authority by 15th January 2012...

If your dc was born 1st September 2008 or after, then you will have until January 2013 to be LIVING IN THE AREA to apply for the school.

Hence, you only really have ONE YEAR to be resident there (maximum, depending on your older dc's date of birth) before you apply for primary school.

Seriously - move to Cornwall now. HTH.

Almost 3yo - that means your Primary school application will need to be returned by Mid-January 2013. If you want to be settled first, then you need to move to Cornwall now IMO.

@ DFLs.

If it wouldn't out me totally, I'd share my latest subversive DFL creation. But I won't. And actually, hush my mouth. You'd hate Lewes. Honest you would. Most of us who have lived here for centuries are just desperate to leave.

You should think about why you hate Woking. Is it just the memory of school and teen life.

I live south of there - Surrey hills and adore everything about where I live.

So maybe think about being a little bit further out of Woking

Sorry just realised zombie!!

Op what did you do in the end