AIBU to not know where the hell in the south of England we should live for the next couple of years?

[crazycatlady]

OK, so we have recently sold our London house (couldn't afford to keep it) and are currently staying with family in Woking. Ultimately we will end up in Cornwall but we don't think we are 100% ready to make the move immediately so want to rent somewhere in the meantime. We thought we would rent in Woking to be close to family but we absolutely hate it here (both grew up here).

I spend hours on Rightmove scouting out rental properties in random parts of the country. I feel lost and cross about the whole bloody thing right now tbh. Staying with family can only be a short term thing (for obvious reasons).

This is more of a WWYD I guess. I need help with the options. So WWYD?

• rent in Woking and just suck it up until we're all ready to move to Cornwall in 2-3 years?
• go to Cornwall anyway and rent there as a 'trial' run? (I am worried about being far away from London as DS is currently being tested for genetic disorders)
• rent somewhere nicer in Surrey, e.g. Reigate, Tadworth
• rent somewhere inbetween, e.g. near Exeter
• something else we haven't thought of

My work is sporadic and locationless (run my own consultancy) and DH is officicially a home worker but travels a lot. Mostly one nighters. If we moved away from Surrey he would be away Tues am to Thurs pm every week.

We have an almost 3 year old and an 8 month old. I want to be settled somewhere well before we need to think about school applications.

HELP!

odaco I live on the edge of the prubecks so would reccomend that, choice of outstanding or at least good primary schools, and no waiting lists (or none so far). However we are slightly west of Poole.

Thankyou very much fivegomadindorset. We're panicking about secondary schools atm - does dorset have good ones?

Yes if you want to PM me will go into more detail.

smallwhitecat - I think you must have met my SIL, she lives in Surrey and wears a permanent sneer.

I have PM'd you odaco.

Wow thanks everyone. Will show this to DH when he's back tomorrow and we'll have a proper chat. So many reasons to go straight to Cornwall...

I wouldn't do two moves - you'll get settled then have to relocate. Move to Cornwall now so you know whether you like it or not.

Which hospital would you be under? Truro gets poor reviews but the doctor I know who has worked there (and other places) think it's a fabulous hospital - and they get poor results because they put patients rather than spreadsheets first (iho). My son saw genetics at Derriford - which certain parts of Cornwall would come under. They were good. We started in London and tbh access to medical/SN things has been far easier down here than London.

That's interesting jimjams. That is a big part of my concern re going to Cornwall now - we're still on the path for diagnosis and he's only 8 months so we have no real idea what his needs will be - mainstream school or not, lots of therapies or not... it's all up in the air still and I'm finding it hard to find info on SN support in Cornwall because I'm not sure what I'm looking for!

I think it would be Truro, or Bodmin? Or is that too small?

Bodmin probably too small. I can ask my friend who works as a SALT in cornwall (she used to be Ds1's SALT many years ago) if you have any specific questions - she works in paediatrics. You'd probably have a better choice of schools in Cornwall as well if you end up going down the special school route. SS in Cornwall doesn't seem great, but I can't imagine it's any worse than most London boroughs.

We got nowhere in London, just the bottom of a waiting list. Moved down here (not Cornwall though, but very near and dh works in Cornwall so we know it pretty well) and it was all sorted pretty quickly. DS1 attends an SLD/PMLD school and has a good support package. I was actually talking to someone at school yesterday and saying how pleased I was we moved out of London as there was just nothing there for him. It's a good life for him down here as well.

For very specialist clinics such as say neuro who my sone saw a couple of years ago they have special clinics run by (the very very very lovely) paediatric neuro from Bristol.

So you don't have to travel - they come to you

Woking is minging, not surprised you are not keen on it. Bristol is awesome, I'd move to Bishopston /St Andrews area. Lovely people, sense of community, easy access to countryside and devon/cornwall, lots of young families and a good stepping stone from London to a more rural life. People are really friendly and we had a wide social circle pretty quickly after moving there. We had to move on for work but I still miss Brizzle!

There is also Bristol Children's Hospital with the top specialists for the whole of the South West - it is a fabulous hospital with extremely talented and professional staff. They would certainly have a good genetics team there.

Good luck with it whatever you decide to do!

If I were in your shoes, I would live in Reading. It's very well connected to London by rail and road, close to Heathrow airport and has great schools and medical facilities. The shopping center and high street are also excellent. You will find lovely houses in Winnersh and Caversham within Reading.

at Fabby.

Would agree Bristol is a great place with good transport connections, but it's short on primary school places, expensive and difficult to find a decent family home to rent (they're all let to students as landlords can get more money).

Why delay getting to know Cornwall though, if that's where you are eventually heading? I would just get straight down there - with 2 young children, you're bound to meet people very quickly.

Cornwall is a long way to travel to and from, how many hours does it add to DH journey ( ie changes it from a leave in the morning to a leave night before thing? )

Not that it helps that much but...my Mum took herself off to live in Truro at 66 (3 years ago) ~ she is very,very happy there.

TBH I don't think one can go wrong with most of the south west ...:)

Have a look on google-maps street view ...its gorgeous!

Whatme, DH would leave at 5am ish Tuesday morning and return 10pm ish Thursday pm, every week, working from home Monday and Friday. This differs from his current working pattern which is usually

• Monday - 1hr drive to and from Slough, 8am-6pm
• Tues - 6.30am leave - travel to Madrid/Leeds/Munich/AN Other, return home 10pm Weds
• Thursday - 6.30am leave - travel somewhere, home by 6pm (usually)
• Friday - work from home

jimjams you give me enormous hope that Cornwall is the right place for DS. This is my instinct so it's great to hear what you say about schools and hospitals. It would be wonderful to hear from your SALT friend. I'm not sure yet really what I'm asking, since his needs haven't really presented themselves yet, but I'll PM you if I think of anything sensible!

Don't forget you can fly from Exeter, Bristol and maybe even Newquay, although I know they've stopped the Glasgow flights recently. And if your DH has to fly from Heathrow, there's a fast train (some are non-stop) from Taunton to Paddington - I assume it starts somewhere further down the west country! :)

We are in Woking and are DEF not wild about it... seem to be a bit stuck here because of DS's school and my work.

Yep Plinky it starts from Penzance, but is a bone-rattler until it gets to Bodmin and then it speeds up.

Alliwant - waah that's what I don't want, is to get stuck in Woking. Any hope of an escape for you?

It's still a bone-rattler from Taunton I'm afraid, just a terrifyingly fast one

I do agree with JimJams about the benefits of moving somewhere where you have easy access to whatever support your DS may need.
Our family and working lives are made so much simpler by being within easy reach of a hospital and consultant who do a great job for us, plus the various other support stuff. In our case it is London, I would move elsewhere as long as it was an easy trip to the particular specialism we need - it varies from area to area and specialism.

plinkertyplonk I agree Bristol is expensive against a national scale but if you're moving from London then family homes are a comparative bargain!

If Bristol does feel expensive to the OP though, and you do pay a premium to be in a good school catchment, then Taunton would be ideal. Great access to lovely countryside, all the amenities you need and easy trip to Bristol for hospital appointments for DC's if needed.

Bournemouth.

I'm not sure I'd go as far west as Dorset for an intermediate move - although Dorset is sublime.

I'm another person recommending East Sussex and in particular, Lewes as a vibrant, interesting, culturally terrific and child-friendly place. Frequent, twice-hourly train service to London and Gatwick Airport. Definitely cheaper than Surrey and very much nicer in very many ways!

West Sussex, IMHO, tends to be a strange combination of little areas of deprivation and huge areas of somewhat smug, culturally deserted semi-suburbia. The nearer you get to Brighton, the better West Sussex is.