To be scared about birth after today?

[ExquisiteChristmasCake]

Apologies in advance for typos, my iPhone thinks it knows what I mean more than I do. I am due on Thursday and met with my MW today for bloods as my platelet count (bloods' clotting agent) is low. I am having a planned HB as I did with my son (20 mo) however this baby is measuring as much bigger than my ds did. Ds was a week late and weighed 7 lbs 8 oz. they used ye trusty measuring tape and measured me at 41 cm today and said they may have to dislocate the baby's shoulder in order to get it through should my pelvis not be looking like it's going to give at all. I saw the OBGUN cons. 3 weeks ago who gave me the go ahead for my HB but now the MW has said this I'm suddenly a nervous wreck and I've worked so hard at preparing myself for this birth! (first birth was 4 hours no tears just has and air after a huge phobia of dying finally passed). Anyone else been told something equally as scary to find it turned out to be nothing?

Hi exquisite, I've posted a similar AIBU to yours, I'm due on Friday and have the same fears as you...just wanted to wish you luck, I'm sure it will all go much better than you fear.xxx

"Try not to worry, I am firmly convinced "they" give you the worst case scenario to cover their own backs, and have no real idea WHAT will happen or how much the baby weighs - they aren't clairvoyant after all. They make a guess, and give their opinion, but that's all they are - guesses and opinions."

Yes Pom I think she might be preparing me for the worst case scenario, especially as she measured from pubic bone to the top of the uterus (?) which is literally under my breasts as there's "no more space for the baby".

Viva, No I don't have diabetes, gestational or otherwise. This (community) MW is "new" to the community, she is normally a hospital midwife. One of the old school midwife measures with her hands. I was having growth scans with my OBGYN cons. but after seeing him last time we agreed our appointments were pointless as I'm healthy and baby looked normal (not breech etc) so he said there was no reason to have the final appointment (which would have been yesterday FWIW). He has the growth chart and didn't mention GIANT baby...he said "the baby looks long, but your husband is 6"2 so that isn't unusual, and weighs in at 3kg (6lbs?)" this was at 36 weeks. So unless the baby as doubled in weight in 3 weeks I'm slightly sceptical.

Pacific the MW said due to the size of the baby, it may get stuck and we may have to put you in the said knee to shoulder position and put our hands in once the head was out...however, if this doesn't work due to positioning and the fact it's a home birth, we may have to dislocate the baby's shoulder in order to turn it to fit it through, we wouldn't transfer you having got that far.

She is getting my blood results and hospital notes tomorrow so I should hear more by then. FWIW she is one of 4 MWs who will attend, it depends who is on "duty" when I go into labour so it is a waiting game. I very much like her, but it's odd that she would say this.

My platelet count is a bit low and crap, but my OBGYN Cons. said that as long as I have the injection to eject the placenta (I forget its actual name) after the birth I should be at low risk of haemorrhages and if he thought I was going to haemorrhage then he wouldn't approve a HB.

Sorry if it seems I'm drip feeding, I can't type overly quickly on my iPhone plus it alters EVERYTHING I type.

Midwives dont dislocate shoulders... Are you sure you've remembered this conversation accurately, its easy to be info overloaded. I would make an appt to speak to your midwife, or another midwife to run through the concerns. Yes tape measures are only a guide, but if your midwife is concerned that your baby is overly large enough to be worried about shoulder dystocia i wouldnt be dismissing this info off hand.

That is what she said...because after she said it she said "I don't mean to scare you, but you do need to be prepared should this happen".

In terms of predicted weight by scan I can't see it being a mutant, however the measuring tape appears to make it out to be huge. I am 5"4 and usually weigh in around 10 stone, my husband is 6"2 and weighs around 14 stone. So we're not giants.

Seriously, the measurement thing is a load of crap. DD measured 8.5lb at 37 weeks IIRC. Ended up being born at 41 weeks and weighed 7lb. Insist on a growth scan if you're worried and hopefully that will put your mind at rest.

Enjoy your lovely home birth :)

I measured big from about 16 weeks onwards, including one memorable occasion when I measured 34cm at 21 weeks! I carried with what seemed like gallons of water, it literally poured out in a flood and a wave and soaked everything in sight, there was masses of it, and DD was 23 inches long. They CANNOT tell from measuring your bump how much your baby weighs! DD was 8lb 14 and born at 40+6, with gas n air and no stitches. Please try not to scare yourself OP
(Oh and I am 5'4 too although I was an am somewhat lots heavier than you. Don't forget, how much you weigh doesn't really have a bearing on the size of your pelvis)

I thought you could turn over onto all fours to avoid the shoulder thingy - sorry I'm not more technical - I read many birthing books years ago and TruthSweets post rings a bell for me. I was massive also but just had a load of water - babe was 3Kg.

Good luck with it all anyway - have you tried hypnotherapy to assuage your fears of dying?

maybe you'll be in the hospital anyway with your platelets -
Just think, you'll be seeing your little babe soon - it's very exciting: maybe focus on that??

poor you.. this sounds like what happened to me.

Had first child in hosp in under two hours, no pain relief, totally wonderful experience.

V much wanted a homebirth for second dc due to above. Fell in street at 28 weeks so had an extra scan which then started a lot of OH THE BABY IS BIG, you are diabetic, no you are not etc etc with the doctors. There was total confusion as to whether the consultant or the midwives were in charge of my care.

At 30 weeks the midwives decided to take me back and at 36 weeks a midwife came to my house to book me for a home birth and was very reassuring.

I went overdue and spoke to a friend who is a consultant anesthelogist (sorry spelling, it's late, I'm tired) at major London Hospital and he said DO NOT have an induction. So I declined one.

Had a sweep, nearly went into labor, community midwife nearly came round to deliver.. but false alarm.

Then had second sweep with a midwife from hell who booked me for an induction while I was out of the room and refused to debook me, and then had a go at me for nearly an hour, telling me my BP was dangerously high etc etc and telling me I was "fighting everyone" - in fact BP as I found out later from supervisor of midwives who came to do debrief tends to go up when labour is imminent..

I then went into labour after the sweep and called the hosp who said they were sending someone. Then the phone rang and it was the evil midwife who said YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISED AGAINST A HOME BIRTH. No I hadn't, I had been booked for one and had had a long discussion at around 30 weeks about the size issue. Then I asked who was coming to deliver and she said she was.

Well, she came and she was a total evil witch and really really really upset me and the labour was very long and very painful and she was totally rude, loud and aggressive.

I have never felt so alone in my life and unsupported and when my ds came out felt nothing and then had PND for the next four months.

I was told different things by different midwives about shoulder dystocia but if you look it up, having a big baby is not ncy a predicting factor. That said, it is very very very serious thing.

In retrospect, I would have preferred to have been in hosp with a sympathetic midwife than at home with a horrible one. I compare it to the difference between being mugged in the street and burgled..

I can't advice on whether you are suitable or not for a home birth but I felt my hospital played an underhand game by stringing me along but not really supporting one. If you decide to have a home birth, make sure you speak in advance to the supervisor of midwives about your wishes. Also I did not know that where i live there is always a supervisor on duty if you have a problem and that I could have insisted on being seen by another midwife.

Good luck

I think they used to break collar bones in a last ditch attempt to get babies out (back in the old days) but that isn't likely to happen now with all the other techniques to shift a stuck baby.

When I queried what they would do with a SD in prep for my homebirth the MW said that they were trained to do 7 different manoeuvers and they would do them in turn (they ring for an ambulance at the first sign of stuck baby) as they wait for the ambulance and carry on moving you through the 7 manoeuvers in the ambulance in case can they free baby on the way. This is if baby doesn't pop free earlier of course.

Stella-how awful for you :( thankfully our MWs come out in twos so I'll get one I know quite well if not two, plus the student (someone has to let them see what goes on). Tbh I am less scared and more excited this time around, well I was until I saw her today and now I'm a little panicky. POM may be on the money with them influencing me to go into hospital to make their lives easier but with my allergies it seems a bit of a waste of a bed!

DS1 was a shoulder dystocia during a v fast (under 2h)precipitate labour. None of this could be predicted. He was just over 7lb, and I'm tall, with a proven pelvis. Presentation was normal when I had my ante-natal check up 6 hours prior to giving birth.

The midwives dealt with it very quickly, I was put into McRoberts with an episiotomy in order for them to get their hands in to free his shoulder. He needed oxygen for a few minutes after delivery, and had to spend 2 days in NICU after developing jaundice from all the bruising sustained during birth, but there were no other side effects/trauma, and he is now a strapping 17 YO.

Measurements are only an indication. My mum measured almost identically with all 4 pregnancies and had babies that were 5lb (early), 7lb, 9lb4 and 10lb5
I measured huge and had a 7lb baby (3wks early) but I'm really petit and after discussing with friend obs guy he reckons I would never have gone full term anyway.

Ok well my blood count is better platelets are up to 129! I saw the senior MW this morning who said that everything is fine and not to be anxious what so ever. So perhaps it was just one MW's thoughts and not the general consensus?

Hello love and glad you feel better today. FWIW they told me DS3 was "huge" - he came in at 7lb 15oz, exact same size as DS1.

:o

Measurements are rubbish.

OB at scans: Oh it's huge. It's off the scale. Let me just recheck because it's measuring so big.

MW: your bump is too small. You haven't put on enough weight.

OB: we might need to measure your pelvis to check whether baby will fit.

I insisted on 'trial by of labour', out popped an OP 8lb4 boy (okay so he had a big head but not huge and not too small). Someone on here likened it to trying to guess the weight of a man in the next room from an x-ray taken while they're curled up in the bath. So true.

Pinot thanks for that!!!

Hey,

My youngest DS was 10lb exactly and I had him at home, he did get stuck as he had his hands over his face but my midwife was fab!

Firstly she called for a ambulance, then with the aid of a second midwife helped me change position which shifted Ds and he was born a few minutes later. I'd say trust your MW when the time comes, mine did say there was a chance of getting stuck etc, but they were trained in manoeuvring mum and baby if this happened, which she proved when the time came x

Exquisite, it just occured to me.... bear with me here... I had kinda totally forgotten that in my last pregnancy (DS4, now 20 months old) I had bone marrow issues - I am not entirely sure how I can have not mentioned that on your thread; I think I am in denial.

Anyhoo, I had low white cells, then low platelets with normal red blood cells. I was monitored throughout pregnancy, eventually had a bone marrow biopsy (ouch!) when my white cells dipped rather low (risk of infection) and there were discussions about whether I should consider having a CS (I'd had a previous emCS, but also 1 successful VBAC).
In the end, all was well, fast really good labour - and normal blood count.
I've been monitored 6 monthly since and all is back to normal. A formal diagnosis was never established. As I have NO intention of having any further kids I am not too bovvered, frankly!

I hope you feel more positive today. It is one of my regrets that I never had a HB, so live precariously through those on MN who do
I think there has been lots of good advice and positive birthstories involving big good sized babies on here.

Sending you good birth vibes, whatever happens in the end !

Shoulder dystocia is alot more likely if baby is in a bad position no matter what thier size unless you are talking about an 11lb baby. My first daughter (2nd child) was a shoulder dystocia, she was 8lb 11oz, so not massive, she got stuck because she was back to back and didn't manage to turn fully before she came down the birth canal, it would have happened if she was 7lb. It happening was bizarre because I was on my hands and knee's when it happened which is very unusual as this position opens the pelvis more and is one of the positions that they move you to to resolve a SD when the McRoberts manouvre doesn't work. I was flipped onto my back and they did the McRoberts manouvre with SP pressure which resolved it and she arrived straight away, no tears and she was fine. I have gone on to have two more children, one who was bigger than dd1 with no problems.

The midwife is being rediculous and shouldn't have scared you like she did. There are many many ways that they can resolve a SD before they even need to consider breaking the babys clavicle/dislocating the shoulder. Most of the time just getting the mother to stand up straight and then squat will dislodge the shoulder without any other interference. My 3rd baby was a booked homebirth, I ended up transfering in due to mec in waters and my 4th was born in the MLU, if we have another I won't hesitate in booking a homebirth and I definately wouldn't worry about SD despite having gone through it already... My dd1's birth was actually my easiest up until my last one which was very fast and next to painless.

The best thing any expectant mother can do to avoid SD is to try and keep baby in a good position (sit up straight, don't slouch on the couch, spend time on your knee's leaning over a birthball etc) and to keep active during labour (I went flat on my back for 20 mins after arriving at hospital at 8cm while they were doing VE's and monitoring baby, if I'd stayed on my feet like my body was telling me to I have no doubt that she would have turned fully and the SD wouldn't have happened.

On the measurement size... With my last baby all the midwives said I should expect a baby the same size as the previous two or bigger (so around 9lb), I was measuring slightly over with the tape measure etc. When she arrived she was 7lb 9.5oz, I asked where the rest of her was

What about the low platelet count though? I have ITP which basically means low platelets, and I needed transfusions during each pregnancy/birth. I'd be more worried about that than the size of the baby. (Sorry to add to your woes). What had your consultant said about that re homebirth?

My dd was meant to be tiny based on her fundal height - she measured 3/4 cm behind dates. She came out a very healthy 3.81kg at 40 weeks ie huge.

It is very irresponsible for your mw to suggest your baby is big based simply on the fundal height, let alone say you are at risk of shoulder dystocia.

Even if your baby did have shoulder dystocia, breaking the clavicle is a last resort. SD is extremely rare besides.

the boy was almost ten pounds when he was born,( and 23 inches long) his shoulders did get stuck but I managed to he almost shot across the room when I saw the instruments of torture laid out get him out without any intervention, not even a stitch needed >

Try not to worry too much.

DD2 was 10lb3oz and seriously chunky and back to back all the way out, predictably she got stuck and they did the mcroberts manouver to get her out (flat on my back with knees as close to my head as possible)
I was in hospital but there was nothing that was done that a MW couldn't have done at home.
there were anaesthetists etc in the room ready for action if needed though.

Has anyone linked to this, or this, or this or this or this yet?

I think if you look up the research on measuring fundal height, you will see it is not a reliable predictor of baby size. If my memory serves even scan measurements have a 10% margin of error, which is pretty significant.

The best way to avoid baby getting stuck is to avoid birthing on your back. Getting into the best positions can widen your birth canal by up to 33% compared with flat on your back (e.g. kneeling leaning forward with legs wide apart).

Good luck!

sometimes though being on your back is actually better though! I was really thrown by DD2's birth, totally went against what I knew about childbirth, but she arrived healthy and no interventions were needed.
I was lucky to have incredible midwifes to coach me through it.