to think this is wrong of my mother?

[Multigrain]

My mum has just been on a 3 week holiday to New York.

She has bought my dd a bag full of Hollister clothes - very generous thank you very much.

She has bought my ds nothing.

She handed the bag to my ds and told him to give it to his sister who wasn't around at the time. He peered into it as any 6 year old would, and got those are for your sister.

Nothing was said about him at all.

AIBU to think this isn't how you treat grandchildren???

Golly thats a bit mean! Not even a toblerone for your DS - is she generally like this?

No - well normally noone gets anything, but at least that means all are treated equally.

:( poor thing. Surely she could have found something for him.

Is she normally like this?

YANBU It really is heart breaking when your children aren't treated equally by their grandparents. [bitter experence emoticon] Did you ask her for an explaination as to why she bought for only one?

I would have openly said to her "what about ds, did you not get him anything" ? That is just plain nasty

Why on earth would she do that?!

I would give the stuff back an say its unfair on ds so you would reather neither have anything

TBH I'd have passed the lot back and said I need for you to treat the DC's all the same, so please keep these for when you have managed to consider DS and his feelings. Very sad.

Give it all back! You can't let DS get treated like that! Poor little thing!

That's horrible!

I'm guessing your DS is less bothered than he might be, because she got clothes, but still.............

That's the thing, ds has just accepted it, didn't say where's mine or anything saw it was clothes, and just put it on the side for his sister.

I didn't say anything at all about it, as didn't want to upset ds, but am cross about it, and my dd feels really guilty, and she has nothing to be guilty about.

I would be having strong words to your mum about that. Not acceptable at all.

You should, its really unfair on your son whether he seemed fine about it or not.

Yes. It actually reflects really well on your son that he didn't make a fuss, and really badly on her.

oh bless him! Can you treat him to something?

Sadly my 'D'H has treated our children differently :(

Sorry Id hand them back and say fuck off not one wihtout the other, you shouldnt allow her to do that.

yes Fabby, you are absolutely right!

id sell the stuff then split the money between the dc .
then tell your mum , and explain why .

or what fabby said .

My grandmother used to do this. I was the favored one. My dad exploded one day seeing the pile of stuff she had brought for me and the measly things she had brought for my sisters. He picked it all up and threw it all in the garden along with my grandmothers handbag and coat and told her not to come back till she could treat us all the same.

Whilst it's not that nice to get someone a present and another nothing, I don't think it's appalling, DS didn't react badly so he obviously understands gifts are not either required or to be expected. Perhaps the mother only wants to get gifts that she finds really appropriate and another time will get DS something and nothing for DD.

I certainly wouldn't return it ungratefully (even though I would love to do that with so many gifts I've been given, I know that is rude). They're gifts they're in the eye of the giver. So sorry YABU, that is how your mother treats her grandchildren, it may not be how you'll treat yours.

I only have one child, so I cannot compare how my MIL or M will treat different children, however I've certainly been treated differently to my DSis by and I never found it hurtful, it was just how it was gifts are gifts, not something to be expected.

Certainly it's not very nice to be treated so differently as you were herbietea and it's a good reason for you to get your mum out of your life, but I just don't see that gifts have to be evenly distributed.