to think this is wrong of my mother?

[Multigrain]

My mum has just been on a 3 week holiday to New York.

She has bought my dd a bag full of Hollister clothes - very generous thank you very much.

She has bought my ds nothing.

She handed the bag to my ds and told him to give it to his sister who wasn't around at the time. He peered into it as any 6 year old would, and got those are for your sister.

Nothing was said about him at all.

AIBU to think this isn't how you treat grandchildren???

Fred-Are you for real?!
If my mother had done this to one of my kids she would have been out the door faster than shit through a goose.You really must pick her up on this because it will only get worse.My mother in law has always been shit with our kids.She 'looked after' DD1,who is now 13,for half an hour when she was 2,couldn't cope and called my mother to come and look after her.Didn't even offer to pick my mom up[mom doesn't drive].Consequently,she has never looked after the other two either.I always wonder if it was a case of 'if I do a really shit job,I'll never be bothered again'.

That's horrid. I'll never forget the Christmas where my Gran gave my brother a load of toys and comics and gave me a selection box with 5 bars of chocolate - my birthday is the 21st of December, and the selection box was for birthday and christmas together. I felt so hurt.

Ask her why she did it.

You say "Dear mum, I really appreciate the time and money you have spent on choosing these lovely treats for my DD. However, I cannot condone such a blatant display of favouritism towards one of my children, so please either put these away for her for christmas or keep them until you feel the urge to also spontaneously spoil my equally important DS. Thank you"

Is it possible that she hasnt unpacked properly yet, and the clothes were easy to find and in a bag ready to be handed over?

Does she normally treat one and ignore the other?

I couldnt do that at all, it is very unfair if that is what she genuinely has done.

If your dd is upset by it then maybe she could mention it when she says thank you to her gran for the clothes - not in a nasty or rude way but a confused, I loved my clothes and wanted to see what ds had got while I showed him my clothes and he said you hadn't given him anything. He didn't complain or anything but I just felt really awkward that I'd got so much... And see if anything changes!

its not nice to be treated differently,i had this from my step mum & dad and now with my own kids the in laws do it sometimes too.

She's your mum - call her up on it. Your DS should have been given something...even if it didn't come from her trip. Explain how you feel and get the whole thing sorted out now, rather than stew on something which will inevitably come back to bite you in the bum if you don't sort it out now.

I don't think it's fair and I would give the clothes back.

How old are you children? Does she usually treat them so unequally?

Some of the reactions here are a bit over the top - its not like a pattern of behaviour, or that OPs mum is repeatedly favouring the DD. Normally no-one gets anything, this time she came across stuff she thought she'd like to get for DD and did so. Maybe next time she'll bring something for DS only, or go back to no presents.

Maybe OP could give DS a treat or do something special with just him, recognising how maturely he had behaved and showing how proud you are that he was polite and gracious about it.

My MIL gives the moon and stars to DSs, but DDs don't exist to her. :(

How cruel....

I'd give them back to her. That's just awful.

The usual hysteria I see.

Of course it's rubbish of her and potentially upsetting for ds but honestly, tell her 'fuck off and give the clothes back'?!

My mum, who admittedly is a bit on the twatty side of life, often gives lavish presents to some in the family, none to others. Sometimes she will come bearing gifts, other times (like Christmas when we usually have 18 people round to ours) comes empty handed. She's just stupid thoughtless. It's not a hanging offence. OP says this is not a case of favouritism as she's not done it before.

I fear I am with Proudnscary on this.
Perhaps the granny buys for the grandson on other occasions.
Why shouldn't she get some Hollister stuff for her grand daughter?
If OP feels it is consistently unfair she could perhaps make up the difference in other ways. Or speak to gran.
Why is it so bad for kids to realise that life can be unfair???

my mum does this with dd and it drives us crazy. had a quiet word a couple of times, and things improved for a short time. for the moment ds is too little to understand, but in future, we'll keep the additional gifts back from dd and present them to her during the year at the same time something we've bought for ds. we have the luxury as mum lives a long way away and we open the mail.

what really upsets me is that her mum (my gran) did the same in favour of my cousins, and yes, we noticed. we were the adopted ones, and therefore less worthy...

We have this with one of dh's aunties she used to buy for all now only buys for dh's own children (ie 1 of my 3 and dss) so she buys for 2 out of 4 dc.
All presents get returned, I used to ask MIL to do it but she never would so they just get posted back now.
She continues to do it to make the point she hates me (feeling very mutual) and I send them back because We are a household with 4 children and you cannot pick and choose which ones you like out of them in that way,

plainwhitet that is not the point. The gran should treat both equally, it is not on to buy for one grandchild and not the other, and make it so obvious to the little boy. He behaved impecably considering. I expect that you would not be happy if your mum or MIL did this to your kids would you . I have told my mum to take them back until she gets ds something.

She snatched the bag off the airport carousel and legged it!