To Think This Head Teacher Is Going Too Far?

[RubyFakeNails]

I am so fed up with DD2s school. I'm sick today so Dh collected and has just told me of the latest incident. Sorry doubt this will be brief.

Bit of background, we recently moved from Hackney out to Essex, and DD has had to change schools, she started a few weeks after the usual date so in october, she was very popular at last place and had lots of friends. She's always eaten like a bird but since joining new school she has struggled to make friends so seems to not enjoy her lunches and eat even less. Teacher and I have discussed this and they are trying to encourage her, she just seems to have been very quiet and shy but she always takes a while to come out of her shell so am not too worried.

Anyway, it was DH birthday on saturday but DD was recovering from a bad cold so she didn't have all the cake and sweets etc. Today as a little surprise for her I popped a bit of cake in her lunchbox to make up for what she missed. Apparently the school has confiscated it and DD is upset because she thinks shes in trouble! They gave it back to dh when he picked her up. He explained the backstory and was told the school have some concerns about the lunches we are providing for DD!

Am outraged as I make a real effort to be healthy with her. She swims twice a week, does gymnastics and dancing, we also walk to and from school. I have told the school in the past that DD like me eats a vegetarian (almost vegan diet). Its not like I'm sending her to school with a litre of coke and a snickers.

I've just spoken to the Head of Year, I told her I didn't feel they had any place taking the little food she will eat and as her parent I control her diet not them. She says lunch time staff have noticed a serious of unhealthy snacks and lunches for DD! Have I considered the school dinners? DD would never eat those as she is so picky a the moment.

This new school is the best in our new area but everyone seems so precious and arsey, the old school was quite I guess rough but the teachers cared and still would never do anything like this. DD1 and DS are teens now and I haven't really had to deal with primary schools for a good 6 years. Is this normal now?

Forgot to say was told by the head of year that the Head teacher as instructed staff to be very 'vigilant', like its crack not cakes, about lunches.

Tis normal to seize contraband 'unhealthy' food in packed lunches. Don't fight it, you will be wasting your breath imo.

Are they suspicious/ not understanding an almost vegan diet? I have to say I would be cross about the cake.
My ds is picky and his pack lunch is stuff I know he will eat- includes fruity flakes and a plain biscuit which I am sure your school would ban! Also has cheese/ fruit etc but no sandwich.
I think you need to write a letter explaining what you have here.
Hope your dd feels happier soon.

Apart from that one bit of cake what are you sending in they object to?

What are the 'series of unhealthy snacks' that they are concerned about?

Just out of interest, what is a typical packed lunch for your dd? Can't really tell if school are being ott or not.

It's normal to steal food out of childrens lunchboxes? Seriously?

YANBU to complain to the school about the removal of food from your childs lunchbox, especially as they have no idea of the healthiness of a slice of cake.

The thing is, even if you sent her with deep fried lard and gin, it is not the school's place to say anything or confiscate her food. They are not medical professionals, or nutritionists, they are dinner ladies. If they have a genuine, serious concern about the health and wellbeing of a child at school, they need to call social services and get the appropriate agencies involved to sort it out. How idiotic would they look phoning SS over cake in a lunchbox?
Just ask them straight out if they are actually concerned for your daughter's health and if they say yes, tell them to go ahead and call ss, you will bow to the professional trained opinion of people who actually know what they are talking about.

The head of year is going to get back to me about exactly what the shocking foods were, but all I can think is that DD loves baking so we make things for her lunch. Her favourite and one of the only things she will eat atm is a houmus mash and roasted vegetable pasty (using low-fat vegan pastry), I make them quite small for her. We also do vegan pizza sticks. She has things like fruity flakes and those bear rolls, also have given her some eatnakd bars now and then but they come back with a nibble in them so stopped those.

Do you think the baking things are really unhealthy? DD1 and DS used to have jam sandwiches, a chocolate biscuit, raisins and crisps. Its like the worlds gone mad and I didn't notice.

I had never heard of lunchbox policing before I started reading MN. It really isn't the job of the school to decide what children eat. It should be up to the parents. I think the snatching of the odd cake and biscuit is more likely to give a child food issues than the child eating it!

What do you typically give your daughter for lunch?

Normal in the schools ds has been to - one in London and now in the Midlands. They have strict policies and food deemed unhealthy is removed and given back at the end of the day. All to do with earning Healthy School Status I think.

Cake, chocolate, crisps etc are not allowed at DD's school. You should have had a warning before anything was removed, but at least you got it back

We really need more information to answer you.

That sounds healthy, but it can't be the entirety of her packed lunch, what else do you typically put in?

The packed lunch police are out to get you, so you do have to be extra careful in some schools. I'm lucky we have never had a problem.

Sorry - cross posted, stopped halfway through. Is she getting enough protein?

What are the school dinners like ? If there is cake etc. on those menus then i'd be asking why your childs cake was taken.

I'd love to know what the school dinners consist of, that are clearly so healthy? Isn't there inevitably some kind of stodgy sponge pudding?

I am sure I will get flamed for this, but sod it, I dont care.

Perhaps it is the very restrictive diet that your child is on that is causing the eating problems.

my advice would be to suggest that the first thing you need to do is get hold of the school lunch menu.

There you will see the puddings.

Ask them to explain why the children on school dinners get ice cream, sponge pudding, custard, etc and they are policing your child's packed lunch.

Then tell them that when they stop giving the puddings to children on school dinners, you will stop putting an equivalent in her packed lunch.

Protein is in abundance as we eat lots of pulses and nuts at home. DD used to take nuts and seed mix to school but the new school doesn't allow nuts.

Can I ask what you would normally give for a lunch box?

DD generally takes something baked or a wrap with vegetables and humus ( DD is obsessed with humus, its her version of ketchup). A banana/grapes/other fruit, maybe some crackers of flavoured rice cakes, something like fruity flakes or the bear fruit rolls, a smoothie drink. Quite often she eats about a third of this.

I sometimes put homemade cake in DS's lunch box - I would be very cross if someone confiscated it. He's my child, I decide what he eats. When they stop serving chocolate pudding and custard for school dinners I'll stop putting cake in his lunch box. How very dare they?

My DS had his cake confiscated from his packed lunch at school, yet they serve chocolate pudding and sticky toffee puddings with the school dinners. It doesn't make much sense.

I know blue ds had a homemade muffin made with brown sugar and wholewheat flour taken away but school dinners that day was chocolate rice crispie cakes.

Vegan pizza sticks and veggie pasties sounds nice, much better than crisps, jam sandwiches and chocolate bars imo. I'd really be pushing them for their concerns over what you are putting in though. It seems a rather inconsistant policy to be confiscating cake and then being concerned about veggie produce?

Valium, I would have freaked at that.