To Think This Head Teacher Is Going Too Far?

[RubyFakeNails]

I am so fed up with DD2s school. I'm sick today so Dh collected and has just told me of the latest incident. Sorry doubt this will be brief.

Bit of background, we recently moved from Hackney out to Essex, and DD has had to change schools, she started a few weeks after the usual date so in october, she was very popular at last place and had lots of friends. She's always eaten like a bird but since joining new school she has struggled to make friends so seems to not enjoy her lunches and eat even less. Teacher and I have discussed this and they are trying to encourage her, she just seems to have been very quiet and shy but she always takes a while to come out of her shell so am not too worried.

Anyway, it was DH birthday on saturday but DD was recovering from a bad cold so she didn't have all the cake and sweets etc. Today as a little surprise for her I popped a bit of cake in her lunchbox to make up for what she missed. Apparently the school has confiscated it and DD is upset because she thinks shes in trouble! They gave it back to dh when he picked her up. He explained the backstory and was told the school have some concerns about the lunches we are providing for DD!

Am outraged as I make a real effort to be healthy with her. She swims twice a week, does gymnastics and dancing, we also walk to and from school. I have told the school in the past that DD like me eats a vegetarian (almost vegan diet). Its not like I'm sending her to school with a litre of coke and a snickers.

I've just spoken to the Head of Year, I told her I didn't feel they had any place taking the little food she will eat and as her parent I control her diet not them. She says lunch time staff have noticed a serious of unhealthy snacks and lunches for DD! Have I considered the school dinners? DD would never eat those as she is so picky a the moment.

This new school is the best in our new area but everyone seems so precious and arsey, the old school was quite I guess rough but the teachers cared and still would never do anything like this. DD1 and DS are teens now and I haven't really had to deal with primary schools for a good 6 years. Is this normal now?

You can argue it and win. I know someone who did. Her dd had something confiscated and she went in to school who have said they won't be confiscating stuff in the future.

Even if it did contain Gregg's pasties, it's got bugger all to do with the school - it's a parenting decision.

I don't 'get' this attitude that some primary schools have. As soon as they go to secondary school, they are surrounded by vending machines and the school sell them bucket loads of garlic bread, pizza and cola.

I always wonder when I read these threads; do schools have a vested interest in getting more children to eat school dinners? Ar they under pressure from the caterers or something?
Because that would completely make sense of why some schools seem to be so keen on dissuading children from wanting packed lunches, if that way you can't have anything sweet at all.
I have idly googled, but haven't seen anything to indicate it.

Yes there are economies of scale to be gained from persuading as many children as possible to take school dinners - you need the same number if staff to cook for 200 children as you do for 300 (more or less) so you can spread the staffing cost more thinly.

It's one of the reasons why I choose school dinners for my DCs (and in no way because I can't be arsed to make a packed lunch in the morning).

My DS is only 19 months so I have no experience. But I think it's unacceptable for food to be confiscated by a dinner lady or teacher. If they have genuine concerns then a letter to the parent, with some leaflets about balanced diet is fine. If the lunches do not improve then maybe the school nurse intervenes in some way.

My SIL is a teacher and she has seen children given left over McDonalds for lunch and worse still one child who was given a tin of condensed milk for lunch. It is these children that need healthier lunches. Not a child with a piece of cake and an otherwise healthy balanced lunch.

What karma said.

My DCs secondary schools will sell them as many portions of chips as they like, if they can pay for them.

They also sell biscuits, burgers, and cakes.

If you are worried about your child's calorific intake, why are you giving her pastry made with low fat spread? Genuine question. If she is eating like a bird, surely you need to be adding fat and calories wherever you can? My son had a virtually vegan diet for a long time because we are vegetarian and he was lactose intolerant, but luckily he eats very much well so we didn't have to worry, but it doesn't sound good to me that your daughter eats so little and that it is also a very restricted diet. And that she is eating less because of unhappiness. I'd be keeping a very close eye on that situation.

The school are being ridiculous about their healthy eating policy but Ill be honest, it doesn't sound to me like your daughter does have a healthy diet.

Totally agree with theprovinciallady on the fat

Are the school very keen to promote their school dinners?

Schools that are (and it does make it cheaper to provide good quality food if more kids eat them) tend to make it as difficult as possible for parents to provide packed lunch imvhe.

So what kind of pudding are on offer with school dinners if cake isn't acceptable at lunchtime?

I don't understand why any HT or teacher would go along with such a massively intrusive policy. Parents are not generally trying to harm their children and those that are don't get nearly enough scrutiny, probably because it's easier to deal with people who cooperate.

I don't think the school had the right to confiscate your DD's cake, especially as most schools often serve stodgy sponge cake and custard for pudding quite often. As both a primary teacher and a parent, I've always been under the impression that while schools can give guidance/advice on what should be in a packed lunch, they can't actually enforce this. I have seen some shocking things sent in for 'packed lunch', such as left-over, cold chip shop chips , and if they haven't been confiscated, why all the fuss about a slice of cake?

I'm still amazed that some schools are choosing to interpret Healthy School Status as giving them the right to confiscate children's food. Surely that will leave the child with an inadequately filling lunch and they will be hungry. How can they possibly justify that?

I think they hope to change parents minds but the parents who are giving their children truly unhealthy lunches (left over McDs and cold takeaway chips) clearly need support in understanding healthy eating and nutrition and this is not going to be achieved by confiscating lunches!

More carrot, less stick.

I worked in one school where there were posters of a healthy packed lunch around the dining hall. The problem is, the children weren't the ones making their packed lunches. What are they supposed to do?

At my friends school, the governing body organised something where a nutritionist came in and explained the need for healthy lunches and what this might consist of. The parents shared ideas and they were given ideas to make their own standard packed lunch healthier.

They didn't focus on healthy eating when many of these parents were at school. If it's not something that is important to them and they haven't explored themselves, they're not likely to just know what to do.

My DD hurtles around like anything. She hasn't an ounce of fat on her and eats like a flipping horse. She needs high energy food in her lunch and always has done. She has a very healthy and balanced lunch. But it isn't low fat (I do try to keep sugars down). Because she's 5.

Children are being taught very strange things about healthy eating and it seems to be based on a very simplistic mantra of "Good" food and "Bad" food with no regard for a healthy balance. It must be down to people with no background in nutrition enforcing the rules.

But how are these children going to grow up? They're not going to have a clue about eating an overall healthy balanced diet with a treat or two thrown in, they're going to think you have to eat only "Good" foods (whatever they are deemed to be) and end up on the dieting cycle like so many adults (women in particular).

Plus, I'd like to see what the teachers and dinner ladies are having for their lunch. "Bad" foods should be banned on school premises so there's no confusion (and the staff can see how ridiculous their rules are).

There was a Horrid Henry story about this ... Evil treat-stealin' Dinner Lady eventually spiked by extra-hot chilli-laced biccies ... Perhaps you could try a bit of sneaky offensive baking?

Seriously, I'd be cross ... Confront the buggers, how is a slice of cake worse than whatever processed slop the caterers have shipped in?

mrsPommel, I agree. They are also taught that calories are a bad thing.

My DC were taught that it would be healthier to eat just cucumber and carrots for lunch rather than pizza....errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....kids need calories too! How about a bit of both?

I also had to "undo" the knowledge that pizza is bad food. (My 5 year old was tearful at the thought I would feed him Bad Food!). As in our house it's home made and nice and not junk food!

...then they get given jam roly poly with custard for their pudding at school...

I think schools have got in a bit of a pickle over this.Many seem to be sending out dreadful messages.

At ours they seem pretty ok over packed lunches,well they would do since cookies,cake and flavoured milk are on the school dinner menu however they have really odd polices on playtime snacks ie only fruit/veg are deemed as healthy foods. Having heard from my dc what comes under the umbrella of "fruit" it seems crazy.Fruit flakes(50% sugar),fruit string(even worse) etc which are no better than sweets are in however oatcakes,cheese,breadsticks are the food of the devil and are banned(although ok as a school dinner dessert).

On Friday said kids are allowed to take whatever they like(all manner of shit).Now given most kids with working parents have an early breakfast and older kids in big schools can eat lunch getting towards 1pm personally I think healthy growing children shouldn't be taught that it's healthy to starve for the best part of 6 hours on an apple all week then binge on crap on a Friday.

I have children who this doesn't work for ie one who can't keep weight on and two who get dizzy when blood sugar falls too low.I've got doctors letters to allow snacks with a low GI that can get them through the morning without a dip.I've seen 2 doctors who think the fruit only thing is crazy and the worst thing to try and get through a morning on as you get a high(dreadfully high if fruit flakes etc)then a crash.This can effect concentration.In fact one GP said banning foods has got out of hand and is crazy for healthy growing children which in our school the vast maj are.

Our school has some healthy eating award .

I think schools need proper advise on this and a uniform,sensible policy across the board. The banning of foods(other than crisps/sweets) has got out of hand and is sending out very mixed messages which I think is a huge eating disorder crisis waiting to happen.I think parents should be given advice on a healthy lunch box ie a round of sandwiches,a fruit,a veg,a dairy and a small treat(not crisps or sweets)then leave it at that.Many schools have a varied list of healthy permitted playtime snacks that seems to work too.

Op just a dc's note in future,they're very approachable and the 2 I've seen were extremely supportive,I know others have done the same.

You're absolutely right, MrsHeffley.

That's all really!

MrsHeffley, my oldest DS is borderline underweight, and has blood sugar issues (he gets dizzy, then turns red and sweaty and then, if he gets no snacks, he starts vomiting).

I do give him oatcakes, crackers and digestives for snack. Luckily, our new school checks only on chocolate and crisps,but allows these kind of snacks. The previous school only allowed fruit and cucumber, ludicrous.