Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I a really boring person? feel a bit shit :(

55 replies

Zensation · 27/11/2011 14:13

I went out last night with 2 friends. I'm 30, they're 26 and 28 so we're all similar ages.

So the night consisted of drinking at one of the friend's house from 6pm until 8pm (I didn't drink much here, the other two were on wine and sour shots and were starting to get tipsy before we even left the house). We then went in taxi to a pub. Now I enjoyed this bit, good music, a bit of sillyness - however it became apparant that the whole intention of the night for the other two was to "Pull" - que them trying to make eye contact and smile at every bloke that walkd past. I thought we were starting to look really desperate. I don't like getting drunk so bought myself a lemonade. Went to toilet, came back to taste vodka in my lemonade. They outright denied it but obviously had done it. IMO you don't just tip alcohol into someone's drink when they are making a concious effort not to get drunk. Am I right or am I a boring old fart?

Later we walked across to a pub opposite (which was ok but a tad 'dead') and then on to an indie night club type place (a small one, not a major club). I liked it in here, good music, we had a dance, I sipped a cocktail with them - I was enjoying myself but no - not enough "fit blokes" in there apparantly so they wanted to move on to the 'big' nightclub. Big queue outside, large entrance fee, we didn't even get here until midnight. When we got in it was like sardines in a tin, it stunk of sweat and poo, the place is notoriously filthy. I got charged more for a bottle of water than my friend got charged for a smirnoff ice. We managed to find a table tucked away in a corner and I just sat and watched as drunk women fell flat on their faces, drunk men fell flat on their backs, bouncers diving on guys that were starting to get in each others' faces, guys getting too drunk and doing stupid stuff like throwing huge leather stools at each other, drinks getting tipped all over - not a nice sight. No wonder A&E is so busy on a friday and saturday night.

From here on out the night consisted of being chatted up by a persistant bloke, my friends dancing provokatively with random men trying to "get laid" and me sat there feeling SOOOO out of place/bored/uncomfortable. I assumed the place would shut at 2am so hung out until then - I then learnt that the place didn't shut until 4am. Absolutely ridiculous when people were already hammered at 2am. I couldn't really leave the group as it would have meant going home on my own (bit dodgy around here). 2am I asked when we were leaving and was told "in a minute". 2.30am I ask again - "in a minute". 3am I ask again "in a minute" - we didn't end up leaving until 3.30am.

Shit night. No doubt they all think I'm a boring old fart. Am I?? Is it normal for single women in their late 20s/early 30s to just go out on the pull like this? To drink until they pass out etc?

I almost felt a bit upset over it this morning. Am I a freak?! I came in at 3.45 stone sober with a massive headache caused by shit music and exhaustion.

OP posts:
mistressploppy · 27/11/2011 14:16

Nah, you're not boring, just on a different page.

Make your excuses and sod off early next time!

Tanith · 27/11/2011 14:22

Well, then so am I.
In fact, you did better than me: I managed to fall asleep in the nightclub Blush

Perhaps you need to find some grown up friends?

LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 27/11/2011 14:23

You're too different to them for all that. They probably did find you a bit dull, just as you found them dull too. Time for new friends who aren't 16.

NICEyNice · 27/11/2011 14:24

You didn't say in your post, but I'm right in saying you have a partner?

I think you need to ask yourself, "not am I boring?", but "thank goodness I'm not that desperate!"

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 27/11/2011 14:24

My god. It sounds like hell.

I used to go out and get pissed every weekend, back when I was single. I outgrew it and now barely drink at all. Being forced to be in the situation you describe would bore the hell out of me, so you have my deepest sympathies Grin

Find yourself some friends who like to do other things Grin

There are more ways to have fun than going out and getting pissed.

talkingnonsense · 27/11/2011 14:25

Normal at 25, wierd at 35 and everyone hits the tipping point somewhere different. You may not be older, but you are more grown up.

Hardgoing · 27/11/2011 14:28

I think it's just a case of incompatible needs, if you don't like drinking and clubbing, then don't go, but I think you are a bit sniffy about it (and them). If I wanted to go out, drink, and snog a bloke (which I occasionally did aged late wenties) I wouldn't like to have a disapproving friend asking to go home all the time.

Heed the warning, you don't like their nights out, so either arrange with them to do something else (cinema? meal?) next time, or start hanging out with people who do the kinds of things you do like to do.

squeakytoy · 27/11/2011 14:29

They were pissed so were probably having a laugh, you were sober, so understandably not finding it fun.

I have never really liked clubbing... did it in my teens and it was ok, but by my 20's I found it boring, desperate, and over-rated.. I prefer just having a laugh at the pub and then home.. and I have never been a fan of house parties either...

Zensation · 27/11/2011 14:31

I don't mean to sound snobby about them, if that's what they like doing then fair enough but it's just not for me. Which is a shame because that probably means I won't get to see them much anymore.

(they don't "do" cinema and meals etc)

OP posts:
Hardgoing · 27/11/2011 14:34

If you are part of a group, and that's what the group do, then obviously you will have to bow out. But surely if they are good friends, you must have other times to hang out with them, or chat on the phone, or meet for a coffee on Sunday morning (to review the night before).

I don't really get how you have only just noticed they like doing this!

NatashaBee · 27/11/2011 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alexpolismum · 27/11/2011 14:37

I don't blame you. I would have been very bored too. Like squeakytoy I have never really liked clubbing. It's just not my thing.

Perhaps you should meet up with these friends on Saturday mornings or something, rather than in the evening, and then you can still get to see them, but do other things.

Zensation · 27/11/2011 14:37

nah saturday mornings they are usually suffering hangovers from friday night.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 27/11/2011 14:38

My idea of hell would be a night club. Always was. I've never even been in one. Far prefer the pub or wine bar.

MrsWifty · 27/11/2011 14:40

As long as you don't have any Kenny G CDs, I reckon you're just

Auntiestablishment · 27/11/2011 14:40

YANBU at all. I would have gone home at the vodka-in-lemonade episode and probably refused to ever go out with those people ever again.

alexpolismum · 27/11/2011 14:42

have a dinner party and invite them to your house instead of going out to a club?

Or just make new friends!

Chandon · 27/11/2011 14:46

I remember the last time I ever went to a club, I was 29, it was like you describe...hellish!

I stopped going. Instead I went out to fun small ethnic restaurants, cinema (main stream and art house) and concerts.

You should know by now what you do and don't like.

You don't have to live up to some kind of expectation of "The Exciting Single Life".

Yes, you may be boring. So am I. I think we're in good company though.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 27/11/2011 14:48

Why didn't you knkow your friends well enough to know what kind of night they liked? Are they new?

AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome · 27/11/2011 15:01

Good Lord I am positively geriatric then at 35 because the very thought of going somewhere other than home, at midnight makes me want to weep. I would have bailed long before then. Your not boring, just in a different place (although I've never really enjoyed those meat Market type clubs).

Next time stay until you stop enjoying the night and then leave. Your friends might think your a but boring but I guarantee, when your tucked up all snuggly in bed, you won't give a flying...!

FabbyChic · 27/11/2011 15:03

I used to do it ten years ago, friends would get pissed off if they didn't pull, for me it was about going out with my friends, having fun with them, dancing.

I don't miss it at all. you have just grown out of it.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 27/11/2011 15:06

I would have been very bored too - I'm 27 and haven't been clubbing for years. If that makes me boring I really don't mind - it is a happy kind of boring.

The funny thing is, a couple of years ago I had mates a bit like yours (though I would have been livid had someone spiked my drink, that is really not funny at all). Some of us carried on with the clubbing longer than others but now they keep saying clubbing is boring and I'm replying yes, that's what I've been saying for ages! Grin

I do think it's tough when you want to stay in touch with old friends but you're turning into different kinds of people. If you are not angry with them (I can't quite tell from the OP), why not organize something you think you might all prefer another time - go Christmas shopping together, go see a film, go out for a meal? It might also be they're slightly lost of other things to do too!

DonInKillerHeels · 27/11/2011 15:09

God what a ghastly evening! oK so I'm 37 now, but I wasn't doing that at 28 either - such a waste of time and money and brain cells.

You are not boring - you're sane!

ouryve · 27/11/2011 15:10

What a horrid way to spend an evening. Definitely not boring.

FabbyChic · 27/11/2011 15:11

I done it at 35! For a whole year, loved it. It was 3 times a week! Covering my misspent youth.

Swipe left for the next trending thread