or should I dip into DPs overtime money to buy a lovely lovely dress...

[LalasMama]

As he went out at 3pm "for an hour" and has since switched his phone off and failed to return home. Leaving me to deal with my teething 5month DS and 19month lunatic DD by myself, which believe me is VERY difficult at bath and bed time. The tosser.

Kids are now in bed, I'm browsing the shnet and a dress has caught my eye...

He is saving the money to buy a car that we cant bloody afford to insure anyway. And we dont NEED a second car. But I NEED this dress.

AIBU?

one doesn't boost self esteem by tit for tat spending
he needs to significantly support his dp.pnd and 2 children is so so hard
but as a couple address shortcomings verbally and not through Fuckhim gestures

She's not in control until she talks with him about the unacceptability of disappearing for hours and being uncontactable. Buying the dress out of the overtime money is just point scoring.

control isn't exercised by spending
control is asking him why he is uncontactable

We don't all watch our own kids. Some of us pay others to do that.

Is he back yet?

op knows this is his money
in specific account.not joint account
it's not about the dress.it's a couple,mum with pnd,and dad who goes offsky with pals.and how they work through difficult stuff

Do people honestly behave like this? No wonder there are so many unhappy marriages. OP, you sound like a spoilt, immature brat. You would honestly steal money for your DP that you think you're entitled to just because he had the temerity to go out drinking?

steal money? seriously? there are people who think that a woman buying herself a frock to cheer herself up is stealing?

how about getting him some help if he is depressed instead of using it as an excuse to spend money

Is he back yet?????????

Sorry i disappeared. Both DCs got a bug i think and have been throwing up half the night! "D"P phoned at 1am to say he was on his way home but i could barely understand him because he was slurring his words so much. At this point, I had just got DD back to sleep so told him to go to his mums (just down the street from us) for the night.

He came home at 9am with his tail between his legs. Said he was sorry blah blah blah, that he gets carried away blah blah blah. Tbh im so tired I cant be arsed to argue with him today. He's got the day off work tuesday so said he will look after DC all day while I go and have some time to myself. Told him about the dress and he said he feels so bad he wants me to have all his overtime money! (obviously i said no).

I'm so tired and DD is very grizzly so we are going for a nap.

lalas hope you both feel better soon

i think having control of money is actually pretty important in a relationship.
so is feeling that your voice is heard, your needs are respected.

i agree that point scoring is not the most mature game in the world, but sometimes in happens even in the most equal of relationships.

i think lalas pretty far from being immature and spoilt, and that post says more about the poster than it does the op.

lalas enjoy your tuesday, and enjoy your dress.