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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my boyfriend here when I come home from my night out?

89 replies

BobbingWool · 26/11/2011 14:44

We don't live together but he does sometimes stay here on weekends (and alternatively I sometimes stay at his house other weekends). Anyway he gets a bit funny about me going out with friends on weekends as its the only time we get to see each other (not true, we often see each other during the week for coffee etc too). So the past few times I've gone out he's asked if he can stay at my house so that he's here when I get home. No skin off my nose, if he wants to sit in an empty house all night until 2am then whatever!
Anyway I'm going out tonight and he keeps texting asking if he can come and stay here the night. I can't really explain my reasons for this but I just don't want him to. I want to go out with the girls and come home to my house, have the bed to myself, suffer my hangover in peace etc - I just don't want him around tonight. He doesn't understand as "what harm am I doing just sat in your house while you're out?" etc but AIBU to say I just don't want him here tonight?? especially as there is no specific reason for it, I just "don't".

AIBU? if not, how do I word it so it doesn't sound quite as blunt as "I just don't want you here"?

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 26/11/2011 16:24

OP -- think about this. Your response to him acting reasonably is, 'Wow, that's not like him!'

Seriously, get rid.

usualsuspect · 26/11/2011 16:28

I thought this was an old thread bumped

NaughtyBusterAndTheBumFactory · 26/11/2011 16:32

Me too usual

PontyMython · 26/11/2011 16:34

Agree with others he sounds quite... Odd

pictish · 26/11/2011 16:34

It's certainly very similar to a couple I've read on here recently....but I can't understand why the OP would KEEP asking the same question over and over again?? So therefore I'm assuming it's a coincidence. Or something.

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 26/11/2011 16:45

SO who wants to put money on him being sat on the doorstep when the OP gets home!

PaintYouByNumbers · 26/11/2011 16:48

I really do think this is the same poster posting about the same thing time and again. FGS, leave the bastard.

pictish · 26/11/2011 16:49

If it is the same poster over again, then OP....ffs ditch him!

troisgarcons · 26/11/2011 16:51

I'd be worried if he had my keys - I bet he's in your house when you are out poking through your private stuff.

Akiram · 26/11/2011 16:55

It must be the same poster. Sadly going on past threads she never seems to return when questioned about previous pots.
trois it wouldn't surprise me if he had got a copy of her keys.

OP, leave him.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 26/11/2011 16:58

I'm worried about OPs memory if they are all the same person. Surely even people who feel stuck in situations and post more than once before doing anything dont post the exact same question every time?

MrsMuddyPuddles · 26/11/2011 18:27

the other one had the partner offering her a lift then pestering her all night to go home.

Either this is another person or it's the same and they are both wind ups. Bobbingwool if you do come back for more advice, have a read through this thread, as that OP had a similar experience:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1327596-For-thinking-DP-is-being-really-controlling-here

LeBOF · 26/11/2011 18:27

The box room troll does, she's a troubled person needing the care and advice of strangers, with an obsessive need for her misgivings to be validated. There's no way of knowing if the situation is real, from her past, or just invented for attention.

Sad
PaintYouByNumbers · 26/11/2011 18:29

which one is the box room troll?

LeBOF · 26/11/2011 18:31

The one with a live-in partner who has a spoiled daughter with bedwetting issues.

Llamedos · 26/11/2011 18:34

Is this the same OP whose drink was spiked and had her photo taken with a zombie at hallowe'en? The same one whose boyfriend was making a big deal about the skirt and the underwear she planned to wear underneath?

DoMeDon · 26/11/2011 18:40

He does sound insecure. Maybe he is acting differently because he is beginning to trust yu more and feel less insecure around you. Only you can decide if he is worth sticking about for to find out. Men are just people too, some have insecurity and trust issues. You can choose to be understanding or critical of his behaviour. Either way, be wary as he does act out in controlling ways.

LeBOF · 26/11/2011 18:41

It spunds very similar, yes. I think Boxy has a new story a kindred spirit.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 26/11/2011 18:44

I've always missed Boxys threads BOF, know of her only...

Llam I thought it might be the lady who posted about the skirt, dont remember any zombies though?? Confused

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 26/11/2011 18:45

I dunno about everyone else though, this week I seem to have seen a lot of "new" threads that I'm sure have been here longer than a few days...? Confused

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 26/11/2011 18:48

Had to check the date of the OP as was having deja vu...

OP - he's obviously going to start texting you at 7 in the morning and probably calling your landline if you don't reply to texts. Just a heads up.

I'm sure he will find some way to throw a dampener on your night out, even if it's to ruin your lie-in.

Llamedos · 26/11/2011 18:52

Beyond as I remember it (quite possibly wrongly Smile) she had a photo taken, and put it on Facebook, of a guy dressed as a zombie with his hands around her neck.

ChuffMuffin · 26/11/2011 18:52

Isn't this the third thread you've now posted about him doing exactly the same thing? :(

TheOriginalFAB · 26/11/2011 18:54

This is very similar to someone else's relationship so if you are different, search and get advice form their thread.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 26/11/2011 19:07

Llam I'm assuming her DP wasnt happy that she'd let another man put his hands on her?
Am always shocked to have missed something, I practically live on here!