to think how do you know they have got more money than you?

[Mmmdoughnuts]

I read on a number of threads on here, and people comment in RL "they can do x but don't and I know they have more money than me".

How do you know all these people have more money than you?

Do you know everyone's payslip, or do you presume because of their job that they have more money, or do you presume because of their lifestyle they have more money than you?

If due to their income they have more money than you, how do you know that they don't have more outgoing commitments than you, something I'm aware of, the more you earn the bigger your bills tend to be, i.e. if you can have a bigger house, you have a bigger mortgage, you have a higher council tax bill, your heating costs are more etc. So your disposable income is not more.

If you are basing it on lifestyle, how do they know they are not living on never never credit to fund their lifestyle, or that they are being frugal in other areas (normally the one that you are complaining that they won't do x for as "they have more money than me"), to fund what is important to their lifestyle even if not important to your lifestyle.

teacher's pay scale

A school with approx 1000 pupils may have a HT on about L20

I know four who are on £80-£90k.

And they call themselves teachers, not "I'm a fantastic head of a failing school and also help others who need it". And a number of people presume they are poor, or are suprised that they can afford to do things.

I also know other professionals who people presume are loaded and people are surprised that they can't afford to do things.

How did this turn into a thread about teachers' pay?

OP, providing you have what you need, why does it matter to you what other people have?

Actually my MIL is obsessed by what other people have and very chippy if she thinks anyone has more than her. She was a deputy head teacher - never got over her levels of "poverty"

No it doesn't matter to me what other people have - it's other people being assumptious over other people's money (either amount they have or lack of) that annoys me.

Anyone who is a teacher here even ann NQT are seen as on a decent wage as even there starting wage is higehr than most peoples. Same as nurses etc. I think some people just want more and more tbh

I'm a public sector professional, as is DH
you can google our pay scales, and so if you know how long we've been doing our jobs, you know to the penny what our family income is
but that still doesn't tell you what it needs to cover

we have friends who have a similar income to us
but one of their parents gave them a 6 figure deposit for their property
so it's not surprise that not only is their house bigger than ours, but their mortgage is lower, so they have more disposable cash

When you know people for a long time then you generally have a broad idea of their general level of income/expenditure. Some people talk about it openly, some mention it in passing. I could probably make a reasonable stab at ranking our friends into a list of relative wealth. I know who is living way beyond her means and I know who has a large disposable income and who is mortgaged up to the hilt.

It's just a picture you build up over time. Someone might tell you they are looking at a new job which will pay £40k and that they have decided not to take it as it is not much more than they earn now - so you have a broad idea of their income. They get a mortgage on a house in an area you know - so you know the rough value of their house and size of mortgage. They then post all their holiday pictures on facebook and you can see whether it is an expensive resort or not.

People tend to live their lives quite publicly these days, what with social media etc, and it would be hard NOT to have a general idea of how well-off or otherwise your friends are.

NJE I have read "rich dad, poor dad", but I borrowed it from the library.
You can't always tell who's got money, for example, I am a nursery nurse (a profession that makes even TA wages look generous), I never have my hair or nails done, my kids wear hand me downs and new clothes were always presents from someone. We have one holiday a year, in the UK, few gadgets etc.
BUT, DH earns a decent wage, and when we needed a car we just bought one new from savings, when we wanted solar panels, again we bought them with savings (we now have no savings!). I don't spend much on presents, and even DH wouldn't spend £80 on a present (even for me).
The moral of the story is that sometimes people's day to day spending does not reflect their capital worth.

Income does not always reflect how people live or you don't know their history. We don't eat out. We don't often buy clothes. We have second hand cars (£800 purchase price etc). That is in part because of the divorce but also because I would prefer to pay back debt than buy shoes. I am certainly not saying I am poor but just that someone else in my situation might have a jaguar on the drive and be in designer clothes.

In fact the person who might be able to afford the present or whatever it is but has not done so perhaps should be praised. May be instead they are giving their money to charity or just paying back debts or just because they save a third of their income for harder times or whatever.

YANBU

toughasoldboots no doubt you know what you're talking about but public sector teachers (the majority) don't earn anywhere near as much.

We have more money than our neighbour who's some sort of scientist type thingy because our mortgage is so fecking low and he enjoys naice cars.

We have no car and a £150 mortgage.......do have an expensive bike habit tho, i'd say our bikes together are probably worth more than our household contents

I kind of know where the op is coming from. People sometimes forget that although DH earns 35k and that may sound a lot to some of our friends who earn the minimum wage what they don't know is that he works 1.5 hours away and so has huge petrol bill, we pay masses in childcare and we also have a fair amount of debt and a car on loan - When I sometimes decline an offer of a night out they look at me like i'm being a tight arse when I genuinely just can't afford it.

Why do other people's assumptions matter. I'm quite sure that when we are on holiday (usually nice gite/villa complex in France) and usually have a cheaper car than others, not terribly expensive clothes, listen to them about what they have got and the size of their houses without ever offering information back, they assume we are not terribly well off. I wouldn't dream of disabusing them of their assumption. Quite sure too, that people on the high street make similar assumptions when they meet us too.

I've got a friend whom I know earns more than me. How do I know? She told me she is saving up for an extension. The amount she could afford to save each month was more than double my gross earnings!

You get this a lot being on benefits. People see you, eg, had a night out, and think you have more disposable income.

(before I start, lets not get all competitive poverty, this is about priorities, which are personal)

Last night I had a babysitter, so I went out using my bus pass into newcastle, had 4 half pints of real ale in 4 pubs (again, though choice - that is what I like to drink, but it does happen to be cheaper) and a sandwich in a late night cafe, reading the free magazines (which are actually about what I am interested in), then came home and met DH in the local working mens club for one last drink - the entire night cost me about a tenner, but I wasn't making choices based on cost.

It is quite possible for someone else to do pretty much the same night out, with the same attitude of not exactly having a blowout, but not scrimping either. A taxi out, vodka and cokes in the same pubs, buying magazines to read, or not being an antisocial recluse and actually paying to get into a gig or club, eating in an actual restaurant, taxi back and meeting DH in a proper pub for a couple of g+ts would probably feel about the same (and look about the same) but cost £80. So someone might say they can only afford a night out once every now and again, but I can afford one more often, and so I must have loads of disposable income.

Sense yes it is possible to have a cheap night out, it isn't necessary to spend loads (but even with your calculations I would need to add on at least another £10- no bus pass and we live in the sticks!!)

As a rule, I've found that the richer someone is, the tighter they are with money. Then again, what business is it of mine how they spend their money?