For getting irritated by the way DP gets everything bought for him?

[FairytaleofYork]

Been together for around 15 months and so still live separetely. We both earn similar wages.

What has become really apparant is that DP's dad is very "soft" in the terms of if DP hints that he needs something, his dad will get his wallet out and asks how much it costs. DP used to make out to me that he felt really guilty when this happened but didn't want to say no in fear of upsetting his dad.

I've now realised this is bullshit, he does it on purpose.

So it's really starting to piss me off that whilst I'm saving for things and working hard for them, DP says he's doing the same when in reality he's simply hinting about stuff to his dad.

One example of this was when we were both saving for a newer car. I spent 6 months scrimping and saving, DP supposedly doing the same and then he turns up at my house one day in a newer car having not saved a penny for it, his dad bought him it. DP then shows off about how much better it is than mine and that I really need to upgrade before mine falls apart (well yeah, easy when you scrounge off your parents isn't it!).

Then I let it slip that I was saving for a new TV. Guess what - 2 weeks later he announces that that his dad has just bought him a 40" Sony HD tv and oh look - it's so much better than yours isn't it?

The latest thing is that we were both saving for a new mobile phone. I was deliberating between just buying a cheapish £100 phone or getting something a bit cooler better. Guess who swanned into my house yesterday with a brand new spanking phone? daddy thought he needed one.

Would this annoy anyone else?? it actually makes me lose respect for him.

I should point out that the differences are the attitude your dp has and the silly childish competetiveness

I thought it was exactly the same thread, made me check the dates. Have you posted this problem with the same examples before, op?

@shoobydoowop... it's not a chip on the shoulder to find that your boyfriend thinks the best way to impress you is to get his Dad to buy him anything you say you want - and then wave his new toys in your face like a kid in the playground. It's a sad insight into the man's personality. Your situation and the OP's are not the same at all.

The problem is not the Dad'd generosity, it's his son's manipulative dependency, lack of graciousness and very odd and childish attitude of one-upmanship and competitiveness with his girlfriend.

Parents have different incomes, people are brought up in different circumstances, beyond their own control, and it is no more reasonable to resent someone's familial wealth than to look down on their poverty. If the giver can afford to give and gains pleasure from it, that's lovely.

My problem with this would be that the son has not learnt to manage his own finances independently, so won't be capable of managing on his own or in an equal relationship in future. He clearly doesn't see the father's gifts as delightful extras but as a reliable subsidy.

The one-upmanship is just bizarre - what an odd way to try to impress you (or does he take you for granted too?). If he was planning and working with you for what you both want and sometimes said 'well it's possible my Dad might be able to help us with that car / holiday / house deposit' you could say you're uncomfortable, or might feel able to say 'well, you know him best, I'm happy for you to have that conversation' because it would be for something both of you really wanted.

I don't have an issue with people receiving gifts from family, even if they are a bit spoilt.

The issue here for me is that he's rubbing your nose in it OP, and that is highly unattractive. Dump the brat!

I dated rich men, poor me, lucky and unlucky men, mostly they were all decent men who appreciated what they had and never made me feel small for having little. Its not about what gifts they receive, what they have or haven't got, its about how they deal with it. Whether its a rich spoilt guy who makes you feel small, or a poor bitter guy who makes you feel guilty, they are not people you want to be around.

Cor I sound like a right bike!! I am 37, there weren't THAT many men lol

Yep, do the dad

The problem is him rubbing your nose it in. He's like an 11 year old 'look I've got better trainers because my Dad is richer than yours'. WTF?

Dump him.

when you get past your early teens, it will all seem irrelevant