For getting irritated by the way DP gets everything bought for him?

[FairytaleofYork]

Been together for around 15 months and so still live separetely. We both earn similar wages.

What has become really apparant is that DP's dad is very "soft" in the terms of if DP hints that he needs something, his dad will get his wallet out and asks how much it costs. DP used to make out to me that he felt really guilty when this happened but didn't want to say no in fear of upsetting his dad.

I've now realised this is bullshit, he does it on purpose.

So it's really starting to piss me off that whilst I'm saving for things and working hard for them, DP says he's doing the same when in reality he's simply hinting about stuff to his dad.

One example of this was when we were both saving for a newer car. I spent 6 months scrimping and saving, DP supposedly doing the same and then he turns up at my house one day in a newer car having not saved a penny for it, his dad bought him it. DP then shows off about how much better it is than mine and that I really need to upgrade before mine falls apart (well yeah, easy when you scrounge off your parents isn't it!).

Then I let it slip that I was saving for a new TV. Guess what - 2 weeks later he announces that that his dad has just bought him a 40" Sony HD tv and oh look - it's so much better than yours isn't it?

The latest thing is that we were both saving for a new mobile phone. I was deliberating between just buying a cheapish £100 phone or getting something a bit cooler better. Guess who swanned into my house yesterday with a brand new spanking phone? daddy thought he needed one.

Would this annoy anyone else?? it actually makes me lose respect for him.

@Flouncy... you're quite right. It was 'the aunts' that Wooster's mates had to suck up to in order to finance their lifestyles I was thinking of

Oh dear. Fair enough if his dad genuinely offered but if he hints to his dad what he wants then that's not on. Do you love him? Can you not say he's being a knob? I would.

Eugh. This would drive me crackers. Nope, couldn't be with a man who whines to his parents to buy him things and then dangles said baubles in my face in a 'Ner ner' manner. It would make me punchy.

What if you start living together? I'll bet that you end up shouldering the responsibility for all the household expenses as he pleads poverty, whilst still accepting handouts from his Dad.

I forgive you Cogito as you plainly know your Wodehouse.

Sounds like it's the childish oneupmanship that's annoying you rather than his dad getting him stuff. I'd bin him if that's his attitude!

38? 38!? Why are you with this loser man-child? He sounds quite appalling.

The whole wanting what you want and wanting to bigger and better is weird as hell. It makes him sound petty and unoriginal, especially the whole following what you're doing rather than what he wants aspect. And then he rubs it on your face! Sounds rotten And tbh I wouldn't want to be with someone that liked to put me down by pointing out how what he has is so much better than what I have. Blurgh!

I used to know someone of the 'look, I know you have been scrimping for x so I have gone out and got a much nicer x so I am better than you' type. Regardless of where the money comes from, that is the bottom line, the actual action. You want chips, I'm having better chips, you are on holiday, I'm going somewhere hotter and flasher and more expensive, you have scrabbled together to get fireworks, look what fireworks I've got...

I used to call the police every Friday as that was the day he beat up his girlfriend

38. oh yuk, things will never change.

How does he qualify as a DP? Surely that's a boyfriend?

38

The creepy thing here is the competitiveness with you. I will admit that my parents are unfailingly generous. I am an only child and my parents have helped me out of a couple of sticky situations in the past and are buying me an iPhone for Christmas give us all lovely gifts. So I would be a total hypocrite to see much wrong with a generous Dad and middle-aged child BUT using your parents' generosity as a way of one-upmanship on your partner is a serious red flag. Has he achieved so little that he needs to rely on his parents to make him feel better about life?

Ditch him and go out with his dad.

is he 11?

sorry OP but he sounds like a jerk. What's the attraction?

Okay what longer term prospects are there in this relationship?
He competes with you, what you want he gets.
He spends his money, can't save but gets his Dad to buy him everything. What do you think he would do if you lived together/were married?
I think you would do much better to go out with friends and look for a better partner. Certainly don't turn down offers because of him, he really isn't a keeper is he?

Then I let it slip that I was saving for a new TV. Guess what - 2 weeks later he announces that that his dad has just bought him a 40" Sony HD tv and oh look - it's so much better than yours isn't it?

Tell him you're saving up for a boob job. If he turns up at your house in a week's time with a massive pair of shiny new boobs that his daddy bought him, you know you've got a problem

what a tosser he sounds immature, greedy and a taker who will drain you dry if you ever get married, i should dump him tbh and find a grown up to date!!!

hully

This thread seems awfully familiar. I'm sure someone a few months ago had exactly the same issue.

YANBU to be annoyed at his attitude.

I thought that Trills. It's obviously a common problem. Who knew?

I agree with Hully.

you sound like my dp, OP. Like you have a chip on your shoulder.

My parents are very very good to me and as they are not on the breadline the like to help me and my sisters out a lot. DP doesnt have this and he is very bitter about it, despite the face we live together and I share everything with him.

Needing a helping hand from your parents when you are starting out is one thing, but a single 38 year old freeloading from his Dad and then boasting about it is not in any way okay. Ditch him.