to the woman 'feeding' her baby in m&S exeter this lunchtime yes YWBVU

[preciousmuch]

in case you're wondering... I wanted to change my babies nappies & feed them. When I knocked on the door your henchwoman opened it a crack then shut it in my face. A staff member also knocked on the door and through the doorcrack the henchwoman said 'she's feeding' and shut the door again.
I understand you might be a bit shy but come on... There's room in there for one to feed & one to change nappies you didn't need to be so secretive.
You were there for at least FM mins from what we could see. Do you not think it's a leetle bit selfish?
Or is it me being unreasonable expecting to be able to share a facility such as this?

Sorry was this in the loos ? I certainly don't think you were being unreasonable, perhaps it was this ladies first outing outside and she was feeling a little nervous, but her friend should have convinced her to share.

Yep...selfish....unless strong cultural reasons for modesty? I take it that's not the case?

And rather than tell her this, you thought you'd address her here on the million to one off chance she actually reads MN?

And YABU for feeding nappies

those rooms are for feeding and changing.

Tbh, it's not the woman's fault but the shop for not providing a private place to feed which is separate from the changing area. It's bad enough having to feed your baby (breast, bottle, whatever) surrounded by the delicate aroma of shitty nappy, let alone with the door going and the general chaos of parents changing their babies in there.
Feeding rooms dont need to be much more than a cupboard with a comfy chair really, just be quiet, private and not have people banging on the door wanting to change their child (not your fault btw)

How many is FM minutes?

This reminds me of the only time I have ever used a changing/feeding room to bf in: (either John Lewis or M&S, can't remember which); a woman walked in, took one look at me, shouted 'sorry' and hastily walked out before I could say anything.

yanbu I have started to hate those rooms the last few years and try to feed elsewhere.
When my dh took our baby in one to change he was met with abuse because is was apparently for breast feeding mothers (according to the woman in there) so he wasnt "allowed" to come in to change the nappy. When i was breastfeeding he ended up wandering the shops aimlessly waiting for me and ended up being followed around by a boots security gaurd who obviously thought he was up to no good!.
My current favourtie if i cant bring myself to use a feeding room is changin mat on lap in toilet (no big deal really once you get the hang of it) and feed in cafe/bench or other seat.

This happened to me at a small airport recently. She was in there so long, with the door locked, that I had to feed DS in the lounge and change him on a table before the flight. A good half hour with the door locked when the changing room has a chair for feeding and two changing tables.

When she and her DH finally came out, I saw they were orthodox Jews, so a strong reason for modesty, so I tried not to be cross even though her modesty had been traded for mine as I had to feed in a busy airport!

hilarious re FM minutes. It was actually 40 minutes of me tutting, making passive/aggressive comments to a closed door & wondering around trying to decide whether it was worth traipsing around a busy town centre to find another room ...
I don't know for sure that there weren't cultural reasons, going by the henchwoman i'll assume not but I know that assumptions aren't always reliable.
I'm making another assumption that she reads AIBU but I didn't feel it fair to harass her in case there were sensitive reasons for not wanting me there... Feeding whether bottle or breast can be problematic for numerous reasons but why didnt scary henchlady just say 'we'd rather you didn't come in because of such and such'?
I know those rooms aren't the most private or comfortable, maybe next time she could feed whilst in her carriage with the curtains drawn tight.

I know that store. That room is tiny and tbh she'd have been better off in the cafe, not 10 seconds away. But really, I wouldn't want someone changing a nappy in there if I was feeding either. You'd really be elbow to elbow. The ladies toilet round the corner has a little room for changing nappies, I would have used that and fed elsewhere.

And if you were able to wait 40 minutes you can't have been that desperate to use it.

How old was her baby? when dd was little I wanted privacy as I sprayed everywhere and didn't want an audience. The feeding room in M&S Exeter is tiny, if there were two women in there, there wouldn't have been any room for you.

For future reference there is a baby change table in the disabled cubicle in the ladies, I would then have either fed in the cafe or gone to mothercare which has a big change/ feeding room.

x-posts fuckity

*wandering around not wondering
*feed the babies and change their nappies

Yanbu.

If it's any help in future Cafe Nero (out M&S side door and accross the road) have a good baby change.

no no not Mothercare, the feeding room there smells like death. Boots has a room on the ground floor, very hidden away. It even has a little curtain around the chair if you fancy going really Wizard of Oz about the whole thing.

Oh, I know mothercare is grim. It does have a large room though which the OP could have used if she wanted privacy, and isn't far from M&S.

If she's still getting used to feeding she might not have got the knack of feeding without going practically topless. It took me a while. So I can imagine she wouldn't want anyone in there.

Ah modesty.... it must've passed me by. I have BF DD everywhere (well, all around the shops and cafes locally) using just a scarf to shield my nips (and squirting milk) from the general public.

yes a customer kindly informed me about the disabled loo after I'd changed one nappy in full view of everyone outside the changing/feeding room. The staff member I spoke to didn't even know about the changing station in the disabled loo!
You know how it is: when you've invested so much time (10 mins or so) you (I) don't want to head off to Mothercare when the room might be free any minute, therefore I sat & waited another 10 mins & I had plenty of time to sit & feed them outside the room.
My mistake was not asking how long they might be but with Bfing you can't always give a time.

You seriously expected the hench woman to tell you exactly why they were taking so long and didn't want you to come in? Maybe she wasn't secretive, maybe she just wanted privicy, and space to feed the baby. Or maybe she should just have stayed at home if she can't maintain certain standards when out shopping.

Feeding/changing rooms meant for more than one have locks on?

Could you have got in with your double buggy?

And you waited 40 minutes to feed your baby? I never had that kind of baby, and didn't know they existed!

I'm really confused.

Teens - they are feeding and chaniging rooms, if your not happy for people to change babies in them then shouldn't you feed in a cafe or somewhere else?