Unsupportive family

[twinklingfairy]

I probably am, to a certain extent, but when BIL sees on FB that I have brooches that I have made/am trying to sell.
He says he doesn't want to buy them but wants to know how to make them so that his DD can make one for herself.
I feel cross cos he hasn't even 'liked' my facebook page, or acknowledged that they are worth buying.
So, not helping me out by telling his friends or anything but expecting me to show him how to make a freebie for his DD.

[As a side story, am probably helps explain my general anger at him, but he is bit of a tw@t. Missed my DDs birthday completely, visited a week later and said 'oh, when you don't have a bird to remind you, you just forget these things'
A 'bird'
I asked did he not want to bother with pressies he made noises that he would.
DS birthday was a couple of weeks later and he sends up empty cards.
This on top of not getting them christmas pressies last year.
My point, it is just like him not to think on helping me out but to expect me to help him]
grr

Well, no, he's being a cheeky fucker really!

It's not so much that I want the gift, more than he inferred that he would give one because he wanted his DD to continue to receive and yet, when the birthday came, he didn't bother, again.

So what do I do now, re her birthday and christmas which are within days of one another.
We are pretty skint, hence the trying to make money selling bits and bobs I have made.
He is on a Damn good wage, single man etc etc.
But even that is not the point. The point is that he had forgotten DDs and was not in the slightest apologetic and he forgot them both at xmas and that was never brought up.
Only remembered to send cards cos PIL were coming up, so they prob reminded him(yes that is an assumption but fairly well based), and that was after my talking about it and asking directly if he just wanted to leave it.

My brother sometimes remembers to send a prezzie for the kids' birthdays, and he sometimes doesn't.
Same with my dad - it's patchy.

Doesn't bother me.

I feel cross cos he hasn't even 'liked' my facebook page, or acknowledged that they are worth buying.

heinous! maybe they are tat and arent worth buying in his opinion :) I generally find the stuff people trying to flog on FB is tat and I wouldnt ever in a 100 years "like" any of it

YABU

Taking offence at a BIL not buying your brooch... wtf?

I will never get this obsession with parents wanting people to buy their kids presents, it's so bloody grabby!

As for the jewellery thing, it sounds as though he sees it as a hobby and one he thinks his DD would like to take up.

I must have missed the legislation that now makes it compulsory to like Facebook pages.

Annoying yes but frankly I wouldn't have particularly high expectations of siblings in laws.

I think you're getting a hard time on this thread, OP. I don't read it as you wanting a present, or wanting him to buy your stuff, just hoping for a bit of consideration and respect and these are outward tokens of his lack of thought.

I don't think you're going to get consideration out of him, I'm afraid. He has a loooot of growing up to do before you can hope for that, so best to insulate yourself from it as much as possible, just try to behave decently and civilly yourself.

Thank you mrsgboring you have understood what I was trying to say.

I am not trying to be grabby for presents, I asked him if he didn't want to, was happy if that was the case. Is it sooo not about the materialistic desires. Far more the thought, or lack of.
Yes, he gave a card but only because a 'bird' (me, or his mother reminded him) otherwise both birthdays would have gone unmarked.

The 'liking' is more about forwarding the info onto his friends, to help generate business. He wouldn't necessarily have to 'like' it. Though he clearly doesn't think it's tat because he did want one, just for free. Which is fair enough for family, but a bit of give and take, not just take?

That had been my plan, to get her a little something. As I did last year.
It is frustrating that I give and he takes but doesn't think to reciprocate or thank me.

Why don't you give her one of the brooches?

Would that be enough? Feels a bit skin flinty.

Maybe the brooches look like stuff a kid would be making? I'm always amazed at the random tat people try to sell- I know a friend-of-friends who tries to sell 'handpainted' babygros with the most crap designs I've seen oustide of a nursery school class. I get that people are all wanting to be entrepreneurial due to wanky tory ideology, but the whole point is that if people don't want to buy the tat you make, your business has failed before it started. Just because you enjoy making something doesn't mean it's got to be something people want to buy from you when they could make it themselves.

Also if this is the most unsupportive your family gets, can I swap?

www.etsy.com/shop/Pixiespocket

Is it all tat
I have sold quite a few pieces at an early Christmas Fayre.
I don't think a 6 year old could manage it, but I guess that is just how DBIL rates it.

Yeah, I wish I could change the title now, seems completely wrong now because my blood family actually are. It is just my BIL really, who does my head in a bit with his head being up his bum for many many different issues.

I think people are wanting to be entrepreneurial for many reasons - my main ones are so I can do work I enjoy and on my own terms which fits better round the kids. Nothing to do with Tory ideology- far from it.

They look very professional to me, well done you!

I thought they would be tat but I actually are really good. I would buy one, good price too.

A cynical person might think a good idea would be to make up an AIBU like this and adding a link would be good advertising

Those are gorgeous I'd buy some if I didn't think my dd would lose them within a week :)

I only put on the link because so many people accused me if making 'tat' otherwise I wouldn't have put the link in. I wasn't sure if it was even allowed TBH, half expecting it to be removed or some such [scared]