Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Unsupportive family

42 replies

twinklingfairy · 24/11/2011 15:17

I probably am, to a certain extent, but when BIL sees on FB that I have brooches that I have made/am trying to sell.
He says he doesn't want to buy them but wants to know how to make them so that his DD can make one for herself.
I feel cross cos he hasn't even 'liked' my facebook page, or acknowledged that they are worth buying.
So, not helping me out by telling his friends or anything but expecting me to show him how to make a freebie for his DD.

[As a side story, am probably helps explain my general anger at him, but he is bit of a tw@t. Missed my DDs birthday completely, visited a week later and said 'oh, when you don't have a bird to remind you, you just forget these things'
A 'bird'
I asked did he not want to bother with pressies he made noises that he would.
DS birthday was a couple of weeks later and he sends up empty cards.
This on top of not getting them christmas pressies last year.
My point, it is just like him not to think on helping me out but to expect me to help him]
grr

OP posts:

redexpat · 24/11/2011 20:50

It is really annoying when you have a FB page and you're trying to get more likes, and more free publicity but tbh a lot of people don't realise how it works, and because they dont take FB seriously, they don't realise that other people DO.

I think this is a case of the final straw that broke the camel's back isn't it? It's not the materialism, it's the lack of thought and consideration that annoys you.

I like your brooches.

inmysparetime · 25/11/2011 07:03

Give his DD a brooch, she clearly likes them, maybe you could give her 50p commission or something for each one she sells to her friends (ie bypass BIL and use his dd to spread the word round her peers).

Honeydragon · 25/11/2011 07:17

I think you are being picked on totally unnecessarily here. Give here one of the brooches, if that feels tight by a tshirt to go with it.

You have set up as a business not a craft workshop. Don't give away trade secrets.

As for everyone else. First you decided it was tat then it's a cynical marketing ploy it's a lot quicker to hit the report button than it is to type out a load of unfounded suspicions not relevant to the op.

StealthPenguin · 25/11/2011 07:33

Hang on, what?

So he can't be fucking bothered to consider your daughters birthday or the business that you have decided to set up for yourself.

And on top of that, he has such little respect for your business that he doesn't want to give you money for the completely beautiful brooches you make, but instead claims that he wants you to teach his daughter, free of charge, a marketable skill. For free. Free of charge.

What an absolute tool. And as for his use of the word "bird"....

I know it sounds harsh, but unless he starts acknowledging your DC's birthdays, then stop acknowledging hers. It's the only way he'll learn, and he'll stop feeling quite so entitled. And if his DD asks why not tell her to ask her daddy why he didn't get his nieces and nephews anything, and yet expects everyone else to remember his DD's birthday at the drop of a flippin' hat.

Original poster

twinklingfairy · 25/11/2011 09:49

stealth You had me worried there, I thought you were shouting at me then I realised you were on my side, thank goodness

redexpat Yes, it does feel like the final straw.
It should not surprise me that that is the way he would react but it still does

Just to top it off, I found out last night that he is taking his DD to the Panto in the city next week. That will be the one he said he would get us cut price tickets for (through work), after he forgot to get us the tickets for the Singing Kettle
And the Singing Kettle tickets will be the tickets he had spares going for but offered then out on FB before I pointed out that we would have loved to have joined him. His reply, oop, already given then to a mate (not physically though) That mate didn't turn up, because he never confirmed that he was going to take them, so the tickets were wasted.
I reckon the mate felt that family ought to come first, so backed off. DBIL didn't feel the same way.

stealth I think I will take the higher ground and be smug, nice aunty Though, within my budget of course.

inmysparetime I really don't think that a 6 year old could make one successfully. It is fernickity.
But, as I say, I guess that is the level that he sees them at.
Anything I can do, my 6 year old niece can do right?
It's not like I went to Art School, have been sewing and making for 20+ years or anything. These are just childish little game playing, right?

OP posts:

knockkneedandknackered · 25/11/2011 10:54

Did i get this bit right he sent an empty card with no message in thats out of order its like not wanting to try why bother.and your works not crap by the way its nice.

ChitChattingElf · 25/11/2011 11:03

Of course a 6 year old could make it - it would look like crap though !!!

They look lovely, OP. Wish I could have found a stall like yours for our Christmas Fayre!!!

Just distance BIL a bit, then you won't get as offended by his thoughtlessness. I appreciate that it might be hard to do that without upsetting your DN though. I think you should just give her some of the clips as a Christmas/birthday present.

squeakytoy · 25/11/2011 12:17

Did i get this bit right he sent an empty card with no message in thats out of order its like not wanting to try why bother

I could be wrong, but I took "empty" to mean devoid of any money/voucher rather than a greeting...

inmysparetime · 25/11/2011 12:58

OP I didn't mean she should make them herself, she could take orders for you and take commission for distributing them to a market you may not otherwise reach.

Original poster

twinklingfairy · 24/12/2011 00:19

Sent a pressie for her birthday, one of my hair bands, and another pressie for her Birthday.
Dbil assumed they were both for her birthday and allowed her to get ripped into them both.
Have asked that he let her know that we Did buy her a christmas pressie, we did not forget, just that she mistakenly opened it early.
Wonder if he will.
Wonder if he will notice the dig.
Doubt it.

OP posts:

theincredibequeenofwands · 24/12/2011 00:26

Ooooooo, I like those!!!

theincredibequeenofwands · 24/12/2011 00:27

Can you put them on hair clips?

The bigger slidey ones??

Original poster

twinklingfairy · 24/12/2011 00:39

Do you mean kirby grip type ones?
Probably but I find them a footer to put in hair, and they slip. The ones I use don't.
I made DN and elastic hairband one. So pretty I almost didn't want to part with it.
He has, at least acknowledged it. But not that I made it or that it was well made or any of those nice things you would expect from family
In fact, he was thanking me for the box of pipe cleaners I had given as her christmas gift and not saying anything about the hairband. I couldn't help myself but to ask, had she even noticed it.

OP posts:

nailak · 24/12/2011 00:49

If you put them on grips and market them as hijab pins you could expand your market, they would sell on eBay and stuff as hijab pins,or you could advertise on the many hijab styling fb pages.

Mya2403 · 24/12/2011 02:23

How rude of him just ignore him, Or charge for your service of teaching broach making.

GoingForGoalWeight · 24/12/2011 18:59

Promise you'll teach BIL Daughter to make a brooch. Conveniently forget.

evil

BastedTurkey · 24/12/2011 19:30

I love your clips

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread