To be upset by this text from a friend?

[FoofFighters]

My 2 DCs were ill last week with a bad cold which then turned into an ear infection. They were both a bit sniffly and under the weather when my friend and her 2 yo DC (PFB) visited us. She then texted me to say her DC, DH and DM had it too and she is not happy with me for not warning her my DC were ill.

I'm upset as I feel terrible her DC is ill. However she was sarcastic and and unpleasant in her text and I think it was uncalled for. We have been best friends since school and I know she is very forthright to the point of rudeness sometimes. But, when my DC were ill with it, it was hellish so I imagine she's pretty stressed just now.

AIBU to be upset or should I take it on the chin? Want to text back an apology and point out there is no need for nastiness but not sure if I should just leave it. I really thought my DCs were over the worst of it so didn't even think to warn her in advance :(

You were unreasonable not to warn her, but there's no call for nastiness. I hate it when things like this are dealt with by text, it's too easy for nastiness to creep in. I'd phone her, apologise for not warning her, and suggest a coffee or something?

YANBU - she seriously needs to get a grip.

Everyone has the sniffles at the moment - she is being utterly ridiculous to blame you for her family being ill. For a start, ear infections arent contageous........maybe she had best stay in for the rest of her life (and keep her whole family in too) so she doesnt catch anymore germs.

Take it on the chin OP, she is a twit!

thanks. I am totally kicking myself for not warning her. But due to the PFB-itis I'm not surprised she's mad. Bit at getting the blame for her DH and DM getting it too, though!

That's the thing unexpected; my mum's having chemo at the moment and we're doing all we can to keep the bugs away, so I'd want to know, but you can't avoid everything.

Aren't colds only contagious before you are showing symptoms? If I'm right, then her DCs caught theirs elsewhere.

Should have checked before I posted. You remain contagious until symptoms have gone. Sorry!

I feel the reply "wait til your PFB starts Nursery" may suffice here.

tell her to f*ck off

She was BU for texting you this - if she had said it in person or on the phone it might have been said in a joking manner but texted it looks awful.

texting should be banned imo , I am so sick of it

Borrow someone else's phone and send a txt saying how sorry you are to have to tell you that your entire family has died of the lurgy.

That'll learn her.

Is she really your best friend?
She sounds very rude and not much of a friend at all tbh.
If my bf did this I'd laugh and tell her to get over herself!!!

I would warn the mum of a new born about a cold, but probably wouldn't think to warn the mother of a toddler. I don't avoid colds now that my PFB is nearly two. The text is uncalled for IMO.

Do her DH and DM not go out in public by themselves?!! There are so many colds going around at the moment that chances are they picked it up elsewhere anyway. YANBU to be upset - I do tend to warn friends if my DC's have colds and vice versa but TBH I don't bother too much about it as if they frequent soft play, nursery those bugs are everywhere anyway.

She will get a shock when PFB starts nursery though - my DS had a permanent cough/cold for the first 6 months!! OTOH you should point out to her that exposure at this age will reduce the amount of time of needed when they reach school age!

It's a different case where immuno surpressed people are involved and they should always be warned.

yy she'll get a shock when PFB goes to nursery! I'm the same pishtushette and Rachel, probably why I never thought to tell her.

She really is my best friend kaluki and I know this is typically her. But she's awesome in so many other ways that's it's all good :)

she sounds like a nob and not much of a friend

Ywbu not to Pre warn her tbh but she is bu to send such a snotty text, when my kids were small a family member phoned up desperate for me to have his child as their usual childcare was unavailable, when said child turned up she had filthy cold and sneezed and snotted over my kids all day who then four days later which was bloody Xmas eve went down with it and it ruined Xmas they were both so poorly with it, I was fucking savage at not being Pre warned as quite frankly I would of said no to the babysitting!!

Surely when she arrived at your house you would have told her that your daughter's were recovering from a cold!? She could have then decided whether it was worth the risk or not. She must have known since she is blaming you!?

Why did you not tell her your children were ill? I always let people know if we are ill before they visit. I would feel really rude otherwise..

I always thought colds are infectious before the symptoms appear in people not at the snuffly end stage so chances are they all caught it from someone else. I'm not normally confrontational but I would be tempted to tell her to get over herself, there is no excuse for rudeness especially if she is supposed to be your friend and she can't prove she caught the bug from your family.

YANBU

When I become the Ruler of the Universe (which is a lot sooner than some may be ready for) I am going to BAN and I mean fucking BAN the use of texting and make people talk to each other instead of all this shit that gets passed along through the medium of texting.

Your friend is entirely unreasonable for sending a ridiculous text but you need to ignore it.

High 5's gin!!!!!!!

Sorry

Technically speaking, if her DM and OH weren't in contact with your kids, then she can only blame her PFB for passing the cold on to them. After all, it was your DF and her PFB who were the only ones, of her family, in your house.

In other words, tell her to wind her neck in.

Yanbu to be annoyed. What is gained by moaning at you now. She must have realised when she arrived that they were unwell and could have left. If you are to blame then she is to blame for allowing it to be passed to her dmum.

That said, I am disproportionately annoyed if anyone visits me when they have a bug or invites me into their house when someone in it has a bug. I know we come into contact with these germs everywhere but if there is a known likely contagion then I would avoid it as best as I could. I get virtually no sleep as it is and don't need the misery of a even a cold if I can avoid it.

My dsil has a habit of doing this. She brings dniece round when she has fevers, colds, conjuntivitus etc and passes her around all the people she can. It drives me nuts. I don't want to go anywhere near them when they are infectious, much as I love them.