To be upset by this text from a friend?

[FoofFighters]

My 2 DCs were ill last week with a bad cold which then turned into an ear infection. They were both a bit sniffly and under the weather when my friend and her 2 yo DC (PFB) visited us. She then texted me to say her DC, DH and DM had it too and she is not happy with me for not warning her my DC were ill.

I'm upset as I feel terrible her DC is ill. However she was sarcastic and and unpleasant in her text and I think it was uncalled for. We have been best friends since school and I know she is very forthright to the point of rudeness sometimes. But, when my DC were ill with it, it was hellish so I imagine she's pretty stressed just now.

AIBU to be upset or should I take it on the chin? Want to text back an apology and point out there is no need for nastiness but not sure if I should just leave it. I really thought my DCs were over the worst of it so didn't even think to warn her in advance :(

May i suggest:

"Dear X.

Sorry you have been unwell, we have been too. When PFB came round I thought it was no more than standard sniffles and was not the latest Swine Flu Epidemic, so thought nothing of it as kids always get colds. Little did we know.

Please be assured that from now on whenever you visit we will be giving you hourly status updates of our health starting 5 days before, and please also ensure you bring your biohazard suits and masks, and your own food, drink and air.

We will leave the forms absolving us of all risk of being sued at the gate, please sign in triplicate and post through the letterbox in the hazardous material envelope before ringing the doorbell."

That should alleviate all future outbreak risks.

Yabu!

It is really annoying when people make arrangements and leave the bit out about an illness which is contagious, and to be honest it gets my back up.

1- because I'm a childminder and if I am ill I loose money

2- if my dd is ill she doesn't sleep atall so I am shattered for a week which makes working hard.

You should of warned her so she could make the decision whether to come or not!

Yabu!

It is really annoying when people make arrangements and leave the bit out about an illness which is contagious, and to be honest it gets my back up.

1- because I'm a childminder and if I am ill I loose money

2- if my dd is ill she doesn't sleep atall so I am shattered for a week which makes working hard.

You should of warned her so she could make the decision whether to come or not!

I would not be that bothered, but if it was D/V, flu, chicken pox I would like to be warned beforehand. There is no need to be nasty though.

I always let people know if the kids have colds when they are visiting but I've not had anyone say they don't want to come yet and it wouldn't put me off visiting anyone if it was just a cold.
Why didn't your friend leave when it became apparent your kids were ill if she was that bothered?
Sending a nasty text is uncalled for - she doesn't sound very nice.

I have always warned friends if we are meeting up & my boys have colds, especially pre-pre-school aged children if that makes sense? That leaves the decision to them then doesn't it?

When mine were babies I would avoid colds etc as it just meant a helish few days, no sleep etc. Now I am fine with coughs and colds but never ever sickness bugs. Although they seem to have everything going since DS1 started pre-school & passes every germ onto DS2.

As to whether your friend is being unreasonable depends on how she worded the text. No need to be rude but OK to ask you to warn her in future.

I would say nothing and wait for an apology when she's less stressed and thought on. If the apology was not forthcoming I would have a think again about the friendship.

I would be seriously pissed off if I visited someone and their kids were sick. If my kids then became sick, I would possibly, in a bad moment, send a nasty text. Fortunately none of my friends have ever/would ever put me in this position. Not warning the friend before hand is extremely rude.
(Several members of our family have compromised immune systems, 'a bit sniffy' can be deadly)

My kids are primary age and I do wish to be warned if a household we are visiting has ill children in it. Yes, I know that schools and nurseries are full of germs and my kids have caught loads of stuff from there - but I think it is rude to not warn that your kids are sick when it is a personal visit.

Having said that, the text she sent you was rude and OTT.