To have yelled over two fences at frightening neighbour?

[worriedaboutneighbourskids]

She screams at her children every morning and every evening. All three. The little one - girl aged 4, was crying and moaning 'I'm tired mummy I am tired' and other similar wails. She sounds hard to handle, but then ther mother screams and shouts at her 'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP'. she counters everything the little girl says 'DO YOU? ARE YOU? WOULD YOU? It's really horrible to hear. Other neighbours around us have all commented but nobody has said anything.

The girl sounds distressed always and at the weekends it's often worse as the dad is there too and they are all screeching. I dont think they hit them but the pitiful crying is incessant.

Anyway i just shouted loudly over my fence 'STOP SHOUTING AT YOUR CHILDREN X X X YOU BULLY'

She brings me out in a sweat as we have had three confrontations before and she has called me obnoxious names. I am selling up and moving as i can't stand it but I almost feel better now that I kniow I am not going to stay and listen to it all....I feel a bit emboldended to tell her to stop abusing her girls because that's what it sounds like.

Should I stay schtum and not get involved, especially as trying to sell my house and all this crap will have to vbe declared?

I might get some serious stick from her now I have yelled over fences but I feel badly for her girls.

Maybe IABU to call over at her. I would not dare go round and face up to her as she would hit me or at least totally annihilate me to my face. She is one of the big 'local family mafia' and reduces me to sweats.

I dunno. I was shouted screamed abused and yelled at as a child and to hear it happening in your own back garden and continue to just ignore feels badly out of order.

Please feel free to flame me. I really dont know what to do and i should probably just steer clear.

People will probably reckon it was none of your fecking business but I would have done the same, so therefore I think YANBU!

I can understand you doing that.

However her child would have heard you say that, and that's not good.

You should have tried to have a quiet work with her.

I would have done it too. I think we all shout at our kids from time to time, but constant screeching at them is bullying and abusive

How did she respond? If you fear her enough to be scared to say this face to face - do you think that she will do anything now you've yelled this?

• I understand why you did. I bet I'd have felt the same. It's awful to hear a child being constantly screamed at. Poor little buggers

oh, sorry, you say you'll get some stick. You mentioned that if you had said it to her face she might have hit you - do you feel that this is a risk now you've yelled over the fence?

Just thinking that if it is, you need to think how you're going to deal with it.

Well, police, obviously. sorry for stating obvious!

It would be much more useful to ring the NSPCC. Shouting over a fence might make her think that once, but I doubt it will do anything long term. If you and your neighbours know that those children are being continually shouted at and belittled, someone who can help needs to know.

Good for you - she sounds like a bully. She needed a light shone on herself.

When I housted that over the fecnes her voice went up about ten decibels and she shouted shut shut to me (ijknow it's to me) repeatedly then not long ago she called to me from back gate but i would not dare go out there as she has told me to eff off and leave and the sooner the better. She works with in a place for children with Sn too. I bloody hope she treats the children in her care better than she treats her own.
she is very vicious. I took my son out of the pre-school her guirls go to so I dont have to meet her at any time. But maybe that is just what people are like. I am a single parent, have one son aged nearly 4 and really am used to being belittled like this.
I tjhink the policve have just arrived!! god will come back

well done. she needs to know it's not acceptable

mamamoonmin why would it have been better if the girl hadn't heard it? Surely it is best that she did hear, so she realises that it isn't acceptable, or normal and that other people have noticed that her mums belittling behaviour is beyond the realms of normal? At least that way she might not feel so alone and put down a lot of the time.

She works where? Bloody hell.

It was the husband. Great. As a single mother he knows he can say what the hell he likes. He said that his daughter complained to him when he came home that I had shouted at her over the fence and was upset. he said it wasn't the 4 year old it was the thirteen year old.

No it wasn;'t.

He reminded me that when my son was 6 months old he was removed from me by social services - said it as he disappeared down my front steps returning to his own house three doors down.

My son is nearly 4 now and he was removed because when he was 6 months old his father (my ex husband) disappeared abroad overnight with all our money and I nearly died. i recovered really well and my son is beautiful and if you knew who this was posting then you would think so too.

So they have threatened me on my doorstep too. and they abuse their kids

and they are fuckling scary

and I am really hoping to move house to the other side of the country,.

so what should i do?

YANBU, and it sounds as tho others agree with you if the police have arrived.

Sounds like a right bitch. You were very brave. I would have done worse similar!

I'd raise a concern with the nspcc. Tell them everything that happens, how often, everything. They can give you advice.

Keep your head down now. Get your house on the market and get the hell out of there.

no not police, her husband.
I wonder if the kids know the Childline number? serious intimidation from a man who when she (wife) was abusing me three weeks ago stood there and said nothing. Now he is the big I am on their doorstep. Poor bloody children. Honestly. poor bloody children. maybe they know its a bit close to the truth to have sopmeone yelling stop abusing your children? weakest form of defecne is to attack me?

tjhey must have done this to loads of people. they are so bloody scary an d i am easy to scare. I like my windows.

my not their

its a much bigger deal than just some shithead neighbours though isn't it?

You don't have to let anyone belittle you, especially those who are quite happy to bully their kids, so obviously would have no reservations about bullying anyone else.

Keep your chin up, what you did was admirable

I don't think this will end well.

how long have you lived near these 'chavs'?

To be honest if you are so scared of the family and worry they will cause you harm then an anonymous call to social services would of been a better way to go.

What's done is done and you now need to face the consequences of your spur of the moment actions, all you can do is kill with kindness I'm afraid

I have lived here 6 years.

Kill with kindness?

God she would kill me first.

She is horrible. really horrible. But I suppose youre right. I should fuck off.

If you have been threatened you should inform the police. I do think you made a mistake by shouting over the fence, you should have informed ss or the police of your concerns about the childrens welfare.

She sounds a right bitch, if she is always treating her children so badly I think reporting her to SS would be better then lowering yourself to her level and screeching over a fence

this sort of horror is obviously everyday stuff for loads of people on here. I won 't bother thinking about it.

worried your last posts come across quite stroppy

Its certainly not everyday stuff for me! Then again I don't go shouting over fences.

You obviously have some confidence in you to be able to do that over the fences so when in front of them you should use some of that confidence.

Your neighbours know you are scared, hence why they are 'picking' on you. The number one rule with bullies is once you stand uptop them once they tend to back down.

If you want to sort this problem out I would tell you to face your fears and go round there, go with confidence and ask if you can talk to them. They will be flummoxed by you being there and will more than likely listen to what you have to say... to catch their attention I would open with 'I have come to apologise for my out-burst' and then go on to talk about your relationship with them.