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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to leave 1 year old DD in the car if she is asleep, warm and I can see her?

65 replies

greeneone12 · 23/11/2011 16:11

I just don't see the point in moving her when I know she is warm and cosy and I can see when she wakes!

OP posts:

EightiesChick · 23/11/2011 21:45

I don't think the car exploding etc is a risk worth seriously considering but I would feel uncomfortable that I actually wouldn't hear/see her wake up and she would be upset at waking alone in the car. For this reason, I used to stay in the car when DS did this, and kept books or other entertainments handy for the occasion. Also the McD's drive through was a godsend . I did occasionally nip out of the car though to buy a paper or go to the loo so I wasn't absolutely set in stone on this - I tried just not to leave him for more than a couple of minutes.

It does tend to be something that massively divides posters

BabyGiraffes · 23/11/2011 22:01

I never even considered it a possibility to leave my dc in the car. What's so wrong with lifting them out and if still asleep put them in their cot? And if is is so okay to leave a child unattended in a car, would it also be okay to let them sleep in their cot while I pop down the road to collect the older one from school? I'd only be a few minutes, honestly, and she is quite safe where she is??? This would also not occur to me and I have to wake my younger one almost every day to do the school run.

Shenanagins · 23/11/2011 22:40

I did this once at a garage. I locked the car, popped into pay for the petrol and when I came out he was wide awake and looked a little scared. I put it down to him waking up and not seeing mummy. When I drove off, on the screen it popped up that the car alarm had been triggered. It turned out that the alarm I had heard going off when paying for the petrol was my alarm triggered by him moving and thus terrifying the poor wee thing!

puddinghead · 23/11/2011 23:00

would it also be okay to let them sleep in their cot while I pop down the road to collect the older one from school?

I did this once (and only once). Was gone 10 minutes, got back and still sleeping like the proverbial. (Stress it was only the very once, honest).

Have also done it at garages when nipped in to pay (them in sight). What a caper would have been to get two of them out and across a busy forecourt. Safer to leave them be IMO.

SouthStar · 23/11/2011 23:05

My sil is forever doing this and it drives me crazy... in some instances yes its fine but when its baking hot and no breeze then no, use your common sense or if you are parked on a road (not in a drive way) where someone could easily smash into the back of your car then no, or when you piss off into your mothers and there is no way to keep an eye on the car or even hear if the baby wakes up and dont even check on him for half an hr...then shockingly no!

dontrememberme · 23/11/2011 23:10

oh just leave her in the car, she'll be fine.

wheredidyoulastseeit · 23/11/2011 23:15

I have to post to say don't do it. My childminders car caught fire whilst she was doing the school pick up. Fortunately she took my daughter with her, if she hadn't I hate to think what would have happened, and she said she nearly left her in as it was only 5 minutes and she looked comfy in the car seat.

MrsJasonBourne · 23/11/2011 23:23

Well yes cos cars catch fire all the time don't they?

Although it was obviously fairly scary for you where, but I don't think I've ever actually heard of a car spontaneously combusting, ever, in my life.

And I have regularly left dc's in the car if they've been asleep. Did it today, in fact. But only because my car is parked in my drive right in front of a big window, the doors are locked, we live in a quiet dead end road in a quiet village and I can see them and hear them if I leave the front door open. I would never let them out of my sight. I'd be more worried about child abduction than the car catching fire.

wheredidyoulastseeit · 23/11/2011 23:31

Well Mrs your probably right and I was going to add that every time I see the thread should I leave my baby etc etc I always post my tale of woe. However, I can also add that I used to leave my baby in the car and had to get the police to get him out as I left the keys in with him (old car) so I am bound to have a onesided view. Not had much luck on the car front

startail · 23/11/2011 23:57

Since I used to leave sleeping DD2 in the car where I couldn't see her and grab DD1 from nursery. I most certainly am not going to judge you.
Sleeping children have almost been forgotten when we've got home

NiceAssets · 24/11/2011 00:03

I used to do it when DS was small. Quiet road, I could see him from window, no point waking him etc... But one day he woke, and was screaming his face off. From the angle the car was parked, it looked like he was still asleep and I was totally unaware of the scream fest going on in the Astra. When I finally went to check him, it was apparent he had been squarking for some time. I still feel utter guilt when I think about it, 8 years on.

Wouldn't recommend it.

aaaarghh · 24/11/2011 00:11

you be bonkers. im very amused by all the people saying they watch through the window/know when they would be awake. really. what a bloody faff, what if they stay asleep for hours, you going to watch out that window for hours? bollocks are you. if you are then are they in a locked car...with no fresh air? so they re breathing in the same shitty air for hours. if you left the window open, are you not concerned about someone taking them? you should be. i just dont see why you would take the risk. just take them bloody with you. nothing is worth the risk. yes its hard, i know its frigging hard but you just have to do it.

letmehelp · 24/11/2011 09:56

aaarghh, what's bonkers is tha paranoia about DC being "taken"

Really how many times a year does that actually happen, esp when perpetrator is not known to the family? Far bigger "risk" in actually taking them out in the car in the first place.

Original poster

greeneone12 · 25/11/2011 16:00

Babygiraffes you can't compare leaving them in a car where I can see her to leaving her in a cot and going out!! That's totally different!

Sadly my DD would wake if I tried to move her into a cot and I know she will be happier after a good nap. I do know however that her afternoon nap will never be longer than 30 mins tops so aaargh your comment about 'leaving them for hours' won't apply to me either.

Interesting to read all the responses....ultimately I guess as the parent it's whatever feels right to you.

OP posts:

OTheHugeMjanatee · 25/11/2011 16:21

It depends on the car.

DP left me sitting in his car while he nipped into Tesco's for some milk. He left the car unlocked, but hadn't realised that his car is set to lock and alarm automatically after a few minutes. I sat there MNing on my phone, then moved slightly and triggered the alarm.

I was a bit and so imagine a baby on its own in a car that suddenly started shrilling and bleeping might be a bit spooked and upset.

If your car doesn't do this, though, then YANBU

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