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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to leave 1 year old DD in the car if she is asleep, warm and I can see her?

65 replies

greeneone12 · 23/11/2011 16:11

I just don't see the point in moving her when I know she is warm and cosy and I can see when she wakes!

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 23/11/2011 17:33

i leave 22 month old dd asleep in the car, locked, on my driveway, on a very quiet cul de sac on a very quiet estate in the country, and i check on her every 5 mins (though the car alarm goes off as soon as she wakes up and moves in any case). she sometimes dozes for 30 mins or so if she's fallen asleep while we're out.

i wouldn't have done it at our previous house on a busy suburban road in london.

letmehelp · 23/11/2011 17:57

I never did, but more for fear of being judged than any really worry that they would come to harm. Blush I used to stay in the car and read the paper or use the time to catch up on phonecalls

befuzzled · 23/11/2011 18:00

YANBU if on your own drive. I do on my drive, keep front door open. Wouldn't on the street.

Lexie1970 · 23/11/2011 18:15

I used to leave DS in car - again on driveway, front door wide open - many a time stood in kitchen with book in my hand glancing up occasionally!!!!

DH totally disagreed with it and used to tell me not to do it as he was in the camp that the car could blow up......

Shutupanddrive · 23/11/2011 18:27

YANBU

banana87 · 23/11/2011 18:30

I don't leave DD in the car alone, I stay also and mumsnet from my phone Grin

IneedAbetterNickname · 23/11/2011 18:31

I can't see a problem if it's on your own driveway. But there is a Mum at our school who regularly leaves her DD in the unlocked car, while she takes DS into school. The car is left in a public carpark, that you can't see from the school! This morning, the DD(2.2) was awake and snacking on grapes and cucumber! Me and another Mum waited by the car as we were worried, but the Mum just shrugged it off!

Trish1200 · 23/11/2011 18:33

Can't you dettach the car seat and carry her on it?

breatheslowly · 23/11/2011 18:34

On the drive with the car locked is fine IMO. I can't see DD from there so I tend to sit in the car and MN.

EmLH · 23/11/2011 18:38

I used to do this a lot, again on a driveway in a quiet dead-end road. However, the car was always locked and my baby monitor was on inside (plugged into cigarette lighter plug adaptor thingy). I felt safe this way as I could hear every snuffle but still kept a good eye out of the window as well. You can't be too careful!

Clossaintjacques · 23/11/2011 18:59

I used to stay in the car and facebook Grin

kiki22 · 23/11/2011 19:14

we used to do it with my niece until next door neighbours car was hot wired and stole from her drive away while she was in the house... seriously

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 19:17

I used to leave DDs asleep at MIls our street is funny for parking , as long as you can see them then i dont see what the big deal is ,

reallydeepthoughts · 23/11/2011 20:05

Do cars blow up a lot? And why is this more likely to happen while parked in your driveway than when it is being driven somewhere?!

I leave mine to sleep in the car in the driveway all the time. I totally didn't realise this was an issue!

wedoNOTdothat · 23/11/2011 20:21

Hmm but I bet some of you would have a problem if it was the nanny doing it!

girliefriend · 23/11/2011 20:29

I did this all the time and didn't realise it would be controversial!!!

Although on one misguided occasion I left her in the car outside a friends house (very quiet cul de sac) and kept popping out every few mins but somehow missed when she woke up and the neighbour knocked on the door to coldly inform me that my baby was crying and that I am a terrible mother Blush

reallydeepthoughts · 23/11/2011 20:35

Well we do lots of things that we wouldn't want the nanny to do (mn'ing while kids watch cbeebies etc). It's a whole different issue if you're paying someone to look after your kids.

PS I only bloody wish I had a nanny!

wedoNOTdothat · 23/11/2011 20:46

Yes but this involves taking a risk. Whether you think the risk of the car combusting or being stolen is high or not, it is the same child put in the same situation by an adult, whether they are being paid to do so or not.

I often look at the Nannies and Childminders thread and if this was posted over there as in "my nanny left my child in the car on the drive" then there would be a chorus of "sack her" and "report her to Ofsted"!

I just thought it was interesting what a different reaction it seems to be receiving here.

garlicnutter · 23/11/2011 20:52

I would, for your reasons. She's asleep in a safe place. But it's illegal in a lot of countries, so expect some ranty replies Wink

redwineformethanks · 23/11/2011 21:00

I wouldn't do it myself, more in case she woke up and I didn't realise, rather than fears of babysnatchers, spontaneous combustion etc

TattyDevine · 23/11/2011 21:03

But not illegal in this country.

If SS knocked and told me not to do it again, they could go do one. Its up to me.

I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny doing it as long as she is using her discretion to assess risk.

As for standing round clutching your pearls because someone else has left their 2.2 year old in the car, well, WTF?

Sorry, but I do think the world has gone mad sometimes.

TattyDevine · 23/11/2011 21:05

Just to add, the statistical risk of a child being kidnapped or choking on a rogue grape at 2.2 compared to running off and being run over - probably safer in the car.

Hardgoing · 23/11/2011 21:06

I didn't but then I didn't have a drive, only parking on the road or in a car park which was not visible from the house. So, I used to lie back the seat myself and have a little snooze (which sometimes used to stop passers by as they did a double-take!)

IneedAbetterNickname · 23/11/2011 21:11

Tatty Really? Even though once you have come through the car park (which normally has all of about 5 cars in it) there are no more roads? Interesting then that you think that, when a few days ago, people were Shock that a children's centre didn't cut up grapes, when parents were there to supervise!

(I'm not starting an arguement, just amazed that someone would leave a child unattended in an unlocked car, in a public carpark, eating food which the majority think is v dangerous!)

reallydeepthoughts · 23/11/2011 21:39

Do cars really combust spontaneously often enough for this to be a real risk?! And if so shouldn't we all stop driving?
Y
Surely everything we do involves risk of some sort? Or should we not take our eyes off our kids until they start school?