to think there should be a specific day for idiots in the town centre?

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

Just popped into Wilkinsons to buy a packet of Rennies. It should have been simple, I had the correct change, knew what I wanted, knew where in the shop it was located, I should have been in and out, right?

Wrong!

I selected a till with two people ahead of me in the queue, one at the front was a chap who looked to be in his late 40s/early 50s. The checkout lady scanned his items and THEN he considered packing them. Once he'd completed this task, which took some time as, for some reason, he felt the need to re-examine everything he'd just bought as he packed it, she asked him for payment of £7.63.

This did not surprise me. I'm half his age and have managed, somehow, to adjust to the concept that retailers expect payment in the form of cash, credit/debit card or cheque in exchange for goods and services. However, he looked slightly startled before burrowing in his pocket for his wallet which he went on to extract, open and take a crisp £10 note from with no haste whatsoever. After completing this clearly arduous task he asked the checkout lady for one of the £1 scratch cards she had displayed by her till. She duly extracted one for him.

He considered this for a moment or two before asking if she could also fetch him a £2 one. She went to do so.

No, no. Not THAT £2 one, an identical £2 one from three checkouts away, because there's no way two scratch cards from the same till would be winners. She went and fetched him one. Now, £1 + £2 = £3 plus his original shopping of £7.63 is, obviously, £10.63. So why did he look surprised when she asked for an increased amount?

"Don't worry, love, I have the exact change!" He declares, burrowing once more in his pocket and extracting a huge handful of the same. And begins counting out 63p in the smallest denominations possible. I can SEE a 50p and a 10p in his hand! Just give her those!

Finally, he's done and the next lady gets served. She only has a small christmas tree and a pack of baubles. Her friend pays whilst she attempts to open a carrier bag. And attempts. And attempts. And attempts. Before finally admitting defeat and asking the checkout lady 'Can you open this?'. Who knew that if you grasp each side firmly and pull, that the bag will open as if by magic?!

So, am I being unreasonable to suggest that we set aside a day in town centres for idiots to hold up each other and the rest of us to know to keep a wide berth? I'm thinking a Tuesday but am open to suggestion for other, more suitable days.

This has rather tickled me

.

Wednesdays.

Why do people do this? It's my bugbear too. DS was describing a similar scenario at the Sainsbo's till (he can go out of school for lunch now). Similarly irate description. He said I'd be proud if I saw him going through the self service till, and told me "I'm my mother's son" - I have everything packed and my card in the reader before the checkout girl tells me the total.

Can the people that:

1. Stop at the top of escalators to have a chat
2. Stop in the middle of the pavement to have a chat
3. Don't say thank you when you've held the door open for them
4. Do really smelly poos in public toilets

Go shopping on idiot's day too please?

Three to four a.m. on Sunday. But only the fifth Sunday in February when it is a leap year.

Not Tuesday- that's when I do my shopping. One of those electrical cattle prods would be effective.

YANBU but can we also include in the idiot day the kind of people that feel the need to have a conversation with the bus driver?

"Adult into town please driver"
"£1.30 please"
"oo has it gone up?"
"umm a few months ago it did yeah"
"so what did it used to be?"

cue lots of sighing from people expecting to actually get somewhere today

"err it used to be £1.27 I think"
"oh - and do you still go down Barton Road?"
"yep, £1.30 please?"
starts rummaging around in her purse "are you the driver I saw yesterday?"

FOR FOOKS SAKE, JUST PAY AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN. Some of us need to BE places today!!! GOD so annoying.

You have just described what feels like my entire life! Waiting in shops behind idiots!

And DeliaSucks, don't even start me on the people who stop at the top of escalators or in the middle of the pavement. Just don't.

Wooden and Delia those people can most definitely be added to the 'Idiots Only' shopping day.

One of those electrical cattle prods would be effective.

Oh lord, just give me one . . .

ooh this is all me. Can I go on Mondays after work? It could be special Late Opening for Losers? All the toilets need to be open too

Every day is nutters day at Lakeside!

Even worse, though, is when there's a queue of you buying train tickets for the train that's about to leave in five minutes. And the person at the front of the queue is making an enquiry about how long it will take to get from Swindon to Edinburgh via Port Talbot, with a diversion through Peterborough on the way back, and how much would it cost if they went at 9am on the Wednesday rather than 3pm on a Saturday. Why, why, why?

Have to admit though, the image of a couple stood gabbing at the top of an escalator and a hoard of people ON said escalator crashing into them and falling over etc once they reach them is hilarious

camps at top of escalator

Oh god, this bugs the hell out of me too.

Worst of all are the 'chatters' who stand there discussing their entire life history with the cashier whilst all their shopping accumulates in a drift at the end of the belt until the cashier totals up their bill, at which point they glance at the mountain of goods with an air of bemusement as if they can't quite understand what on earth they are supposed to do next.

Then, 9 times out of ten, they pay the cashier, whilst still ignoring said pile of shopping.

I was behind a woman last christmas who waited til this point to realise she had forgotten an item and simply walked off into the shop, leaving the poor cashier to bag all of her shopping. She still wasn't back by the time that was done, sauntered back 10 minutes later as if nothing untoward had happened and there wasn't a queue of 10 irate christmas shoppers behind her!

It REALLY annoys me when people leasurely pack all their stuff away at the supermarket (often a couple, which for some reason takes twice as long instead of half the time ), make sure that it's all neatly in the carrier bags, and THEN fish out their card to pay, standing there waiting for it all to go through rather than giving the card over as soon as the cashier announces the total, and coninuing ot pack. WHY??? Can they not pack - hand over card - pack - put in pin - pack etc?

I was going to give that example Hackmum! Annoys the hell out of me especially as they then saunter off home and don'tbuy the bloody ticket. With the queue of commuters watching the train pull out of the station without them'

One time I was in tesco and someone had a huge trolley full of stuff. It was near christmas so the queue was huge. Anyway it took absolutely ages for all this stuff to go through the till, meanwhile they bagged it up really slowly, even stopping to read a text message half way through (!!) and then when the total came up on the till (totalling almost £150) the guy just looked at the cashier and said "I'm sorry, I have to go" and walked off leaving it all!! so the poor cashier had to close the till whilst they sorted out the mess leaving a huge queue of very angry customers.

Within 10 minutes, someone's going to post that the slow people are suffering from anxiety or some other special need and they have just as much right to be slow as others have to be fast.

Betcha.

And old people. On Saturday mornings families go shopping. Parents who work all week and have no other time to go. With children who are at school and can only get bought new clothes/shoes at the weekend.

All the old people crowd into town on a Saturday morning, shuffling around and misunderstanding everything...

On the whole I'll let old people off because my grandma used to do this and it was purely because she'd forgotten what it's like when you work and have children (perhaps the only down side of a 30 year retirement...

But still....

Oh and Never Poo in a Public Loo. It rhymes, so it must be true!

Oh and all the people who leave their weekly shop (not just a couple of last minute bits and bobs) to 3.30pm on a Sunday. Why oh why?!

FolkGirl are these the same old people that can think of no better time to go out for a leisurely drive than 8.30am on Monday morning or 5.15pm on a Friday evening?

I was behind a woman last week who tried to pay for her food in Morrisons with her fuel card. She was aghast when told that it wasn't a form of payment. She then said she'd get some money and just vanished. She then came back, and I am not joking, 12 minutes later to carry on. The checkout operator had only just decided to suspend the transaction (duh!!). But as she had returned she then had to go through it all again. She then had the bollocks to then ask for a bottle of gin to be put through separately. I nearly got the gin and struck her on the head with it. I would have moved to a different check out had every other one not been full to bursting and had I not stuck a whole bloody trolly load on the belt. Worse thing was the silly cow didn't even apologise. Bitch.

I returned home, rang the store manager and went mental as to why his checkout operator just didn't suspend the transaction earlier. Bloody joke.

Would it be crabby and churlish of me to add tourists in Central London?

Yes, I know it looks just like that bit in the film you loved, and I'm sure your friends will LOVE that photo of you posed in front of the Tube entrance, but I AM HUNGRY AND HAD A SHIT DAY AND AM TRYING TO GET HOME NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY.

mumblechum! How long shall we give it? There will no doubt be someone holier than thou along soon, to scald those who judge people because they may have some hidden disorder that means they can't help stopping at the top of escalators to chat. Or to say how wrong it is to discriminate against smelly pooers.

Morrisons is a whole other kettle of fish.

DP and I went there last week to get a few bits and pieces and just popped them through the self service checkout. Hit 'finish and pay' only for the whole thing to decide life wasn't worth carrying on with and go kaput.

We called over the confused looking assistant and explained our conundrum to him. He agreed it was indeed quite a puzzle and went to fetch his supervisor. She came over and asked to have it explained to her again before agreeing as well that we were indeed in a bit of a pickle but that there was nothing to be done but use another till.

Now, personally, I would have held up the next person in the queue when another self service checkout became available and shunted us straight onto that. But this whizzkid had other plans and beckoned us to follow him.

I was imagining velvet ropes and VIP checkouts but what happened in reality was he dumped us at the end of the first manned checkout queue he came to that had three people waiting in it with trolleys full of weekly shopping. He then vanished leaving DP and I looking at each other in puzzlement and whispering in confusion 'but we don't WANT to wait in this queue...'.

Then we decided, bollocks to it, and went to KFC instead.