to think there should be a specific day for idiots in the town centre?

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

Just popped into Wilkinsons to buy a packet of Rennies. It should have been simple, I had the correct change, knew what I wanted, knew where in the shop it was located, I should have been in and out, right?

Wrong!

I selected a till with two people ahead of me in the queue, one at the front was a chap who looked to be in his late 40s/early 50s. The checkout lady scanned his items and THEN he considered packing them. Once he'd completed this task, which took some time as, for some reason, he felt the need to re-examine everything he'd just bought as he packed it, she asked him for payment of £7.63.

This did not surprise me. I'm half his age and have managed, somehow, to adjust to the concept that retailers expect payment in the form of cash, credit/debit card or cheque in exchange for goods and services. However, he looked slightly startled before burrowing in his pocket for his wallet which he went on to extract, open and take a crisp £10 note from with no haste whatsoever. After completing this clearly arduous task he asked the checkout lady for one of the £1 scratch cards she had displayed by her till. She duly extracted one for him.

He considered this for a moment or two before asking if she could also fetch him a £2 one. She went to do so.

No, no. Not THAT £2 one, an identical £2 one from three checkouts away, because there's no way two scratch cards from the same till would be winners. She went and fetched him one. Now, £1 + £2 = £3 plus his original shopping of £7.63 is, obviously, £10.63. So why did he look surprised when she asked for an increased amount?

"Don't worry, love, I have the exact change!" He declares, burrowing once more in his pocket and extracting a huge handful of the same. And begins counting out 63p in the smallest denominations possible. I can SEE a 50p and a 10p in his hand! Just give her those!

Finally, he's done and the next lady gets served. She only has a small christmas tree and a pack of baubles. Her friend pays whilst she attempts to open a carrier bag. And attempts. And attempts. And attempts. Before finally admitting defeat and asking the checkout lady 'Can you open this?'. Who knew that if you grasp each side firmly and pull, that the bag will open as if by magic?!

So, am I being unreasonable to suggest that we set aside a day in town centres for idiots to hold up each other and the rest of us to know to keep a wide berth? I'm thinking a Tuesday but am open to suggestion for other, more suitable days.

Don't get me started on people who stand in themiddle of doorways, shops, pavements, and ignore you when you say excuse me please.... So I run them over with the wheelchair

PomBears you know, I believe they are!

I used to be a checkout girl when I was a student, and the worst thing about the job is that you not only have to put up with these idiots but also SMILE ans BE NICE to them because your boss is looking.

It used to drive me potty. Especially the ones who take forever to pack their shopping, pay etc at closing time, when you really, really want to go home. AArrrghhh!!

When I was working in ASDA last Christmas, I saw quite possibly the grottiest thing I've ever seen ever.

This couple came through the till. The bloke had no front teeth, the woman was full term and had a packet of fags tucked into her bra. Two young girls and three older boys Oh well, each to their own. I smile and greet them and start scanning.

They are purchasing their Xmas dinner. Lovely! It was all ASDA Smart Price, but as I love it almost as much as Branded, I thought this was completely fair. It came to around £50, so they paid in cash. They then indicated that the next lot of shopping was also theirs, and therefore I should scan it through and pack it for them also. Rightho.

It was alcohol. Every single fucking bottle that was currently on offer (which is most of them) in the whole fucking store, by the looks of it. Vodka, Baileys, Gin, Whiskey, Amaretto, Advocaat, Schnapps, cocktails, beer, lager, cider, champagne and endless bottles of red and white wine. And it came to over £300. Which they then also paid. In cash.

I got a pasting for starting a thread about this a month ago. Watch yourself

YANBU

I also think that on Bank Holidays and weekends there should be a 2 hour slot for people who know how to shop quickly and effectively. Then the gormless can stand in the aisles staring vacantly at the shelves, or chatting, for as long as they wish the rest of the day.

YANBU, I have been known to accidentally on purpose clip their ankles with my pushchair/trolley. 'oh sorry was that your ankle?' fucking move then

Yanbu!

The escalator thing irrates me greatly. Blocking isles irrates me too

Can we have the people who insist of standing with trolleys chatting and blocking the whole aisle in the supermarket or the ones who go shopping together, each with a trolley, side by side down the aisles so no one can get past and when you say "excuse me" to get past either of these groups they look at you like you are something the cat dragged in. I'm sorry but some of us don't have all day to walk around tesco's!

I am loving this, 6 days of the week you can effectively shop and not end up feeling like you are about to start screaming at strangers doing stupid and annoying things... but also one day a week (every so often) you can go out on "fools shopping" day and chuckle at the stupidity of some people... so much less irritating if you are expecting to encounter fools and don't have anywhere to be.

JennyH

Can we add people who generally hold up public transport and are an arse on it by being total and utter yeah, my list...

I'm talking people who get on dither, then ask for a stop, find out they're on the wrong bus then ARGUE WITH THE DRIVER about how the route has changed (no it hasn't you're on the wrong bloody bus!)

Or people who refuse to collapse their buggies and have a row about it with the driver or other passengers

or Smelly people who by the nature of their eau de rotting corpse take up two seats on a busy commuter bus/train

Or chavs who get on commuter buses with their whinging babies and proceed to ignore said children in favour of a rather loud conversation with someone on their phone very loudly about the kids dad and the other kids dad and invariably using enough expletives that a squaddie would blush.

And old people who go shopping between 11 and 2 Monday to Friday

And there are too many to add to the list

Oh todays gem. People complaining at the driver because the council have moved the bus stops all over 200 meters and they had to walk a bit further to their destination.

I really am far more angry than I first thought!

Even worse, though, is when there's a queue of you buying train tickets for the train that's about to leave in five minutes. And the person at the front of the queue is making an enquiry about how long it will take to get from Swindon to Edinburgh via Port Talbot....

I am afraid I have, on more than one occasion, asked them to buy the bluddy ticket or go away and pointed to the queue of people who are trying to get on the train.

I feel bad afterwards, but at least I feel bad on the train :o

I am loving this thread and agree with every suggestion.

Can we please add people who walk slower than snails? Pet hate of mine. I just do not understand what takes people soo long.?!?!?! I am a very fast walker and the most impatient person ever, but when my Nanna gets annoyed at people walking slowly I think that hey, maybe it's not just me after all. Hurry. Up.

I had the idiots on the bus situation this morning. On my way to work.

Years ago at the local town centre Sainsburys I was at the back of the basket only queue with a couple of bits huffing to myself because the old bint at the front was doing all the rifling through her purse, asking for the total to be repeated, saying she couldn't quite hear, asking again, pulling out exact change, dropping the shopping bag - you name it, she did it.

Turned out it was my own Granny!

Yes I agree. But never forget how entertaining such people can be when you are not in a hurry (although you get them a lot more when you are busy!).
I have a fond childhood memory of me and my dad waiting for someone near a set of double doors, one of which was open, but had a large puddle in front of it. We spent ten minutes watching people try to leap over the puddle to get through the open door, before my dad took pity on them and opened the other door, which had no puddle in front of it. They all flocked to the magically opened door when someone with mastery of the mysterious Handle appeared. I've never forgotten this, it was priceless

I have to confess I am said person that cannot open carrier bags! Tesco, no problem, asda, easy peasey, but morrisons...I've been there a good 5mins before with people queuing behind me. I'm not generally an idiot, just where carrier bags are concerned

I'm loving this thread but please not before 10am on Tuesday as do my weekly shop to finish by 9.30am or thereabouts and I've no time to hang about.

Can we add:

the woman who had long conversation with very patient cashier about exactly which tampons she needed, whether they were right absorbancy and finally decided she needed heavy and not regular, went off to swap them over and then came back sayings she'd changed her mind and didn't need tampons after all

The people who ask for home delivery of their shopping then express shock that the co-op will not deliver to their home in Leicester and argue with csahier then demand manager all while queue grows and grows (we were in a Birmingham store)

people with children who think its acceptable to sit on the conveyer belt - GET OFF I AM IN A RUSH AND WANT TO UNLOAD MY FUCKING SHOPPING NOW

The couple who held up the entire queue last month by having an argument over what brand of baked beans to buy

(so glad Ive swopped to first thing in the morning shop at Aldi where Ive yet to witness anything but massive speed and effiiciency at checkouts and packing is done to the side rather than at tills)

mjantee When I worked in central London I really didn't understand why there couldn't be a slow and fast lane on the pavements . My life would have been so much easier .

Hahaha I love this thread

I also propose that people who walk painfully slowly right infront of you to stick to idiots day, if this isn't possible then perhaps their own lane they can crawl along at a snails pace, and then stop to congregate and talk in their own space that doesn't stop everyone else from actually getting past.

This is also could work well in bars ,

One line for people who actually know what they want to drink and another line for people pondering over whether to Jane who is in the loo would like a slimline tonic or full fat one and if a pint or a half is acceptable for John who is outside smoking a fag .

You all need to come and live in central London. Here, idiots may be shouted at, trampled and pushed out of the way with impunity. I do it every day. You never see the same people twice, and everyone thinks they'll get stabbed if they challenge the shouty person.

Of course, your soul will wither and die - but it's a small price to pay for efficient living

I have far less pavement rage since moving from London. When I go back there I can actually feel my blood pressure rising!

Please please please can I share a tale of herd stupidity....

When I was in my teens my mum took me and DS to New York. Far far pre 9/11 so security aspects were no doubt very different...

We took a trip up the Empire State Building. The lift, packed full of us, stopped at floor 50 (or thereabouts) instead of floor 100 (or thereabouts) at the top. The doors opened, and with no one official in the lift to advise us, we all trooped out into a dark corridor, round a corner to dead end. The lift had gone by this point.

Nonplussed we stood there and gawped at each other and pressed the lift button. Ping goes the lift a while later, the doors open to reveal a lift packed with people. Directed by my mum, they troop out of the lift and down the dark corridor.

We jump into the lift and carry on our journey upwards. Everyone in the lift was giggling hysterically - I will never forget it, still makes me laugh

Yes yes yes to the tourists posing for photos!

I have no objection to accomodating photo-taking in touristy places, but you really can't bring the whole of central London to a halt by standing on one side of the very wide pavement on London Bridge and taking photos of your friends posing with comedy facial expressions on the far side of the pavement, and expecting everyone to stop and wait until you have set up the perfect shot.

I walk on through. DP thinks I am mean.

And can I add a couple of public transport ones:

1. People who only decide that they might fancy getting off the bus when everyone else has already done so and the doors are closing. At that point they start shrieking "hang on driver" while gathering up their 15 children, 6 mini-scooters, double buggy and 10 bags of shopping and trying to extract themselves from the back corner of the bus.

2. The aforementioned bus ditherers who then realise they didn't want that stop after all and stop half-off the bus and try to round up the 15 children and get them back on.

3. The person who stands right smack bang in front of the doors of the packed train while everyone else is standing to one side, and then looks terribly surprised when he/she is greeted with a stampede of alighting passengers who have to part round her like the red sea.