to want to bang on the wall?

[ShowOfHands]

I am. Completely and utterly unreasonable. I know this but for 90 minutes MsNextDoor and her new love have been slapping up against the adjoining wall screaming obscene sweet nothings at each other. I swear half of what she's screaming about is illegal. It's 11.30am fgs. They keep waking up the baby and DH's grandma's due here in 5 minutes. She doesn't need to hear "FUCK ME BACKWARDS AND QUICKLY" screeched through the wall does she? I swear to God my ornamental pig is vibrating.

Charming.

Got enough egg cartons to quickly insulate the wall?

Play some music very loudly that is a passion killer.
Agadoo or something.

Bang on the wall shouting shut up you filthy whore

Yes blast something god awful till they get the hint

I'd shove a note through the door saying "You faked it."

90 minutes? In the middle of the day? Is this her day job?

Nice

Is dh's grandma slightly deaf?

oh dear our old neighbours used to be like this and i found it hard to keep a straight face saying hello the next day because they seems to the rest of the street like a realy average boring middle aged couple - in the nights i didnt even understand what she was asking of him sometimes, she seemd to enjoy it though

Am I the only one slightly jealous of being able to indulge in a good, er, session in the middle of the day?

It's getting worse. They're giving each other ideas. FGS.

Indith btw, did you try and message me or something on FB the other day? Got a really garbled message from them which I swear mentioned you but dh has installed some new anti-virus thing and it goes nuts whenever any kind of IM service starts up.

I'm going to cry. I've been up most of the night and I'd hoped for a nap this morning.

I think we need a transcript

She's self employed. All sorts of packages are delivered here, I sign for half of them. Maybe she's trialling something.

She IS faking. She must be. Nobody's that happy for that long. It's not natural.

I did. I was stuck in the loft with a sleeping dd and I was extremely bored and pestering anyone who was online .

Can you abandon the boy to his great granny and put a pillow over your head for half an hour?

Sorry matey. Would have loved a catch up too. Great Granny does indeed take the boy for a couple of hours so that I can catch up on whatever I need to. Sleep usually and then housework. Today however she might have to assist me in some noise abatement.

I've got some nursery rhyme CDs. I'm going to see if the Hokey Cokey interrupts their rhythm.

And she's not deaf at all. She might be by the time lunch is ready.

The Hokey Cokey will just give them more ideas. You want a good version of the Ugly Duckling or How Much is That Dog with the quacks and barks to surprise them at crucial moments.

90 minutes!! In the morning!! On a Wednesday!!

dd is at uni and the house she is living in this year has thin walls. She was able to hear everything from next door in her bedroom so she put a note through their door to tell them. They have stopped being so noisy but she has not been able to speak to them since!

Currently on 5 Little Monkeys. They're synchronising to the beat. Think they're nearly done judging by the rousing crescendo.

Laughing really hard at the Hokey Cokey giving them idea. HA HA HA!!!

My dear old Gran would have thought it was hysterical! She would have shouted advice at them through the wall!
Seriously though, im not sure what you can legally do, they are having sex in their own house!
I would probably record it, and then play it back really loudly and see if they notice!

When they're finished, give a rousing round of applause. Complete with cries of 'Bravo!' and whistling.

How about Black Lace's "We're havin' a Gang-bang"?

I second chickens advice, that's EXACTLY what I'd do .

I'd probably say 'Bloody show offs' in an unamused and loud voice through the wall at them. Or play some really discordant weird music at them. Bjork or Captain Beefheart.