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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to punch my dr let alone the receptionists?

131 replies

Strawberrytallcake · 23/11/2011 08:45

I took my daughter in yesterday as over the weekend she had a high temp which I managed to get down and care for her at home but has since developed a horrific cough, red tonsils and a rash. Dr said she doesn't have a temp now so it's the tail end of it although it is def an infection. This morning she woke up crying with the pain of her cough, I am so annoyed as I only ever take her to the drs if I know it's something she will need extra help for.

Have just called the surgery back and I'm waiting for a call back. We were supposed to be seeing my brother today who does a show once every year all children with special needs show and it is amazing, it's the first time I'm taking her and if she'd had anti-b's yesterday she would be a bit better to go.

Just got call back to now see a different dr at 9.50.

So AIBU to want to punch her? Not actually physically punch her but definitely in my mind quite a few times.

OP posts:
insertcleverusernamehere · 23/11/2011 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunshineandshowers13 · 23/11/2011 22:37

Indeed insert you are right. It is part and parcel of our job to understand that many people act the way they do in a surgery because they are Ill or worried or scared. I do think it's helpful to remember though there is no need to be rude Smile

And yes - I am lovely Blush

rathlin · 23/11/2011 22:52

OP I was in your shoes last night. Trooped to the doc with 2.8 yr old DS as had a bad cough with cold. Doc looked down throat, said, no pus - viral infection and wrote us a script for calpol so he could get it at nursery. His cough was much better today.

It isn't actually possible to tell the difference between viral and bacterial tonsillitis without running tests e.g. throat swab.

FabbyChic · 23/11/2011 23:43

Ive never taken my kids to the doctors with a temperature or a cough.

It goes eventually.

I did take my son once his cough was gripping and he was tired all the time,and had big bags under his eyes, he had a viral infection that lasted a year, and he couldn't do PE. It could have turned into ME, the only thing he took was Iron medicine.

ddubsgirl · 23/11/2011 23:58

its hard when kids are ill,just see if it runs its course or you need to see a doc,we had 1 doc at our surgery that was as helpful as a chocolate teapot havent seen him for awhile so i think he has left thank god!last time i saw him i could have hit one!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 24/11/2011 00:29

OP - I do have some sympathy with your confusion.

I took my son to the doctor and he was diagnosed with a virus, no explanation of what type and I was told to treat him at home with calpol. Twelve hours later he was in hospital with a nebuliser and needed a steroid medication to help him breathe.

We were kept in a waiting area for five hours while they debated admitting him, then sent us home at 2:15am. We saw five nurses and four doctors that night, all of them with a different opinion.

By 2:30pm we were back at the hospital because he was again struggling to breathe, back on the nebuliser and again waiting for steroid medication, which was finally given after seeing five different nurses and three different doctors. We were sent home at 10:30pm that night.

Still no idea what the virus was, but they said it brought on 'croup-like' symptoms that left him unable to speak and gasping for breath.

A week later I had the same virus (or at least the same symptoms) and the same doctor who said my son didn't need antibiotics gave them to me without hesitation. They helped with my sore throat but not the rest of the symptoms.

Three weeks later we are both having trouble either shaking off the last of the illness or are both picking up other bugs. Still coughing, still with sore throats, both with sore weepy eyes (same doctor saw us both again, gave my son eye drops without question, umm-ed and ahh-ed about giving them to me even though my eye has been much worse)

He did tell us that conjunctivitis can be viral or bacterial but didn't know which caused ours.

I think my son is losing his voice again so I don't think that's the last we've seen of the doctor.

I can understand your frustrations. I know they need to get the diagnosis right and that antibiotics are not a cure-all wonder drug.

But I felt very much like nobody was listening to my concerns, my son was weeping with exhaustion and begging to go home and nobody explained to us what this virus might be, not even a rough guess, and they didn't keep us informed about what was happening and how long we had to wait between doctors etc. It would help if they could say "we are busy but you are X on the list and the doctors will be changing shifts at X time, so it could be up to X long before you are seen." At least then you know what's happening.

When all you want is for your child to get better, but you aren't getting much information from the doctor, you can feel frustrated and angry, especially when one doctor seems to contradict another, as happened with my son, one doctor said he was good to go home but just wanted us to wait for the consultant to approve it. Two hours later that consultant was refusing to let us leave because he thought my son needed the steroids and would get worse without them.

You need to have faith and trust in your doctor and when you don't get a clear diagnosis, just a vague "it's a virus/infection etc" you are left wondering what's going on. And when every doctor you see tells you a different thing it can make you feel angry and frustrated.

ddubsgirl · 24/11/2011 01:00

:( feel better soon noone and your son,its awful when they are ill and you cnt do much to help them :(

bumbleymummy · 24/11/2011 08:13

Noone, hope you feel better soon.

Strawberry, could could try taking Manuka honey ( umf 15+) to help soother your sore throat. You can get it in health food shops although Tesco and Sainsburys stock some too. We use it for coughs and sore throats and it does seem to help. Hope she feels better soon!

insertcleverusernamehere · 24/11/2011 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 24/11/2011 21:43

Thanks both of you. Smile

belgo · 25/11/2011 06:59

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes - it's awful that you were sent home in the middle of the night, and no-one explained anything to you.

There are some standard differences between children and adults - croup in a child is most likely to be caused by a virus; similar symptoms in an adult will be more likely to need antibiotics - this is why I have been given antibiotics for croup as a secondary infection, but my children have never been given antibiotics for croup as it has been viral.

Changes in your temperature can help diagnose a viral or bacterial infection - a virus is more likely to cause your temperature to go up and down, which is why the OP's child was temperature free when she saw the GP the first time but developed a temperature again later.

There are differences between viral and bacterial conjunctivitis and it is possible to guess which one it is, but if both you and your child have conjunctivitis, they you will probably need the similar treatment (but possibly different drops/dose) and I don?t know why your GP hesitated.

Sirzy · 25/11/2011 07:46

There is nothing more frustrating than the fact that some illnesses can't be treated with a course of antibiotics but that's the way it is Unfortunatly. Ds had bronchiolitis so bad he was on cpap but there was nothing in the form of medicine to make it go away (although he did have profolactic antibiotics) just a case of giving the support needed to survive until it clears naturally.

Hopefully one day someone finds a miracle cure for everything, but it ain't gonna happen in our lifetimes!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 25/11/2011 09:38

belgo thank you, that's a lot more information than we were given by any of the doctors who saw either of us, it helps a lot.

knockkneedandknackered · 25/11/2011 09:46

this is going so badly wrong if your wanting sympathy or people to agree with you you won't get it here.

A1980 · 25/11/2011 10:11

YABU. Which medical school did you go to? Anti-b's are handed out like candy these days and if your DD could recover perfectly well without them and would recover without them what is your problem? I can't beleive you are so annoyed over a show she can't go to which is the only reason you seem annoyed at your dr. You want to punch your dr for not giving her anti-b's so she could go to a show? It is nobody's fault she is ill and if she is ill she shouldn't be going anywhere with other children, treatment or not, as you say she would only be a "bit better to go".

As for saying To want to punch my dr let alone the receptionists? it sounds as if they've bent over backwards giving you appointments and taking you seriously. Most people on here complianing about dr's do so as they can't get to see one. Carry on like that and let that sort of attitude show to them then you might find yourself kicked off their list.

Strawberrytallcake · 25/11/2011 17:12

Knockkneedandknackered - did you not see the two posts above you sympathising with my original post???

A1980 read the post before commenting, I would never physically hurt anyone it was just a phrase.

FYi - she is actually getting worse rather than better and I have been up the past two night with her, I know my daughter like I know myself and I still feel a bit lost about her illness.

OP posts:
zeeboo · 25/11/2011 17:19

I'm too busy roaring with laughter at viruses not being infectious to reply properly. Truly classic!!

Strawberrytallcake · 25/11/2011 17:27

What a sense of humour you have, your friends must love a night out with you Hmm she told me it wasn't a virus but an infection and although viruses are also infections it was clear she meant bacterial.

OP posts:
A1980 · 26/11/2011 21:55

A1980 read the post before commenting, I would never physically hurt anyone it was just a phrase.

I read your post properly and I was appalled by it.

From what I can gather you are angry that your daughter is too sick to go to a show and you're venting your anger at the dr? Who's fault is it that your daughter is ill? Nobody's!!!!!

I don't care that you say it's just a phrase: if someone said to you that they felt like punching you and that they'd done it their mind's eye a few times... would you see it as just a phrase? Thought not.

Your DD's sick, she can't go to the stupid show. Live with it.

marriedinwhite · 26/11/2011 22:18

My dc didn't need grommets, said the GP, said the second GP, said the first consultant, and I am aware the local HV's at the time were saying it made no difference in relation to overall development if they had glue ear for a few years. DC 1 = 11 infections by 15 months - grommets at 15 months - problem sorted. DC 2 = 8 ear infections by 19 months and dealt with them far less stoically than DC1. Grommets at 20 months. Each infection was prescribed antibiotics. Gromments sorted problems immediately both times - indeed DC2 sat in car in amazement the day after because for the first time she could hear Shock.

When DC1 was 8 - Dr said theory had changed, refused to prescribe antibiotics - 24 hours later ear drum perforated. Short course of antibiotics under sufferance and told nothing further needed. Two months later ear drum perforated in Austria - local doctor referred to consultant (the norm in Austria) Consultant cleaned ear, prescribed strong antibiotics. DC referred to consultant when back in UK (privately). Repeated infections meant that ear drum was healing at a bad angle and calcification was building up. Grommet fitted to deal with problem. Had it been allowed to continue permanent deafness might have ensued and would have done so a few generations ago.

Remarkable difference between standard of care and bedside manner in Austria and UK - UK on a par with Austria when paying privately. Not good enough.

fedupofnamechanging · 26/11/2011 22:42

I think it is really important to be happy and have faith in your GP. If you feel this particular doctor's surgery isn't 'right' for you, then change doctors.

Also, don't be afraid to ask for information and explanations from them. You have every right to know why a doctor is prescribing or not prescribing medicine for your child.

If this happens again, then ask if the tonsils are pussy. My dd had high temp, severe cold symptoms, which morphed into a nasty cough and pussy tonsils. Within 2 doses of antibiotic, she was a lot better. I think that's much better than letting her continue to be ill until she got better naturally, which I think some doctors do, because they are worried about giving out too many antibiotics. Often it does depend on which doctor you see and their own personal philosophy on this.

Possibly the second doctor didn't give them, because your dd really was on the tail end of the infection by the time she was seen.

If the receptionists are rude, then make a complaint, in writing to the practice manager.

Strawberrytallcake · 26/11/2011 23:24

She wasn't on the tail end, she is still ill and much worse than she was :( I've got it too and I feel like my whole throat and my chest is raw it's horrible. She also has a very chesty cough now. If she isn't better by Monday I feel like I'm going to have to take her again maybe be referred to a paediatrician.

Thanks for the last two sensible replies.

I know we are supposed to feel grateful for our health system but I don't as I feel very restricted by it.

OP posts:
Strawberrytallcake · 26/11/2011 23:25

We are also moving house in two weeks so luckily we will be changing doctors.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 26/11/2011 23:27

So you wasted TWO doctors appointments for your child's viral infection ?
I saw 25 patients yesterday morning (90% who WANTED me to cure their "viral" infections). The ill lady with palpitations and heart problems waited patiently until I admitted her. And the young very distressed suicidal boy almost left because we were so busy he didn't think he was important.
I hope you got to your show.

Strawberrytallcake · 26/11/2011 23:43

God I'm glad you're not my doctor. People come to see you because they are ill and worried and it is the only option they have.

Shouldn't the receptionists or triage nurse have vetted your patients and a lady with palpitations and heart trouble be sent to a&e???

I went because I was worried about my daughter being ill

OP posts: