less of an AIBU and more of a AIGBSC (am I going bat shit crazy?)

[lottielou39]

So, this situation has cropped up not once, but twice recently. And I'm a bit confused. Is it just me: (am 38+3 weeks pregnant, so might be pregnancy dementia, dunno)

1. a friend mentions last Thursday that her and a mutual friend are meeting for a meal today and would I like to come. 'Yes please, I'd love to' says I.
   I ask her to text me to confirm the details, such as time etc. and she says she will text me. I hear nothing over the weekend, am tempted to text her to ask if it's still on, but left it as she said she'd text me (and I assumed it had been called off or rescheduled or something).. then an hour ago she texts to ask where I am. Is it me? I didn't know what time and hadn't any confirmation from her.

2. a friend texts to invite my eldest daughter to her daughters impromptu leaving-the-school party. I say yes, she'd like to come. I then hear nothing at all about the time they're supposed to be there etc. and get a text midway through Saturday saying 'all the girls are ready to set off now and your daughter hasn't arrived yet, is she coming?'. Am I supposed to be psychic, or missing some crucial subtleties in the fine art of texting here? Am I perhaps going a little bit mad?

Sounds like there is something wrong with your phone and you're not getting all your texts.

You need to learn to chase people up that's all

no but i think your phone is fucked

Have you asked the friend you were supposed to be meeting today if she'd texted you with the details before today?

I get texts from everyone else no problem. It's a good smart phone with good reception. And if they'd tried to text and I hadn't received it, wouldn't they know? (I get a red triangle for any unsuccessful texts I send)

This is one good reason why I don't rely on text messaging.

Don't just sit waiting for people to text, take control. Also try switching your phone off and switching it back on again, this can sometimes make texts come that have been stuck in the ether.

the amazing thing is that these machines also allow people to talk to each other.

yeah I know, I know... but sometimes I'm sick of being the one chasing other people up, trying to sort things out and arrange stuff. It gets a bit old.

I've had texts disappear into some kind of bizarre Bermuda Triangle - only to turn up several days later. There's nothing more irritating than waking up at 3am to the beep of an incoming text which asks whether your Dh (now snoring beside you) should buy any milk on the way home.

and if someone says 'I'll confirm details' or 'I'll text you', shouldn't they do what they're supposed to do?

All you had to do was tap a couple of texts out

I know it's not down to you as such but it's so not a big deal

People do forget sometimes that they've promised to text details

OP times I've looked at my phone hours (sometimes days) later and realised a text hasn't sent. I have a crappy signal and on my phone its only evident if you go back through your sent messages to a particular person and check.

Perhaps its them who've thought they sent a message and it didn't send properly. Ask them!

jeee is right, texts do sometimes turn up days later, or not at all. I like to think it's because I'm interesting enough for someone to be hacking me, but sadly it is (apparently) because I never turn my phone off.

Oh fancy smartphones are the worst. My friend has one. She's always telling me what it can do - tell her the weather in New York, do the shopping, make her a cup of tea... . But ask her 'Did you get my text?' 'What text?' she says. Whereas my free-with-a-£10-a-month-contract one works really well for making calls and sending texts, even though it doesn't do anything else.

just had another text to say that no, she hadn't sent a confirmation text.

Just for the record, YABVVVU to use phrases such as "bat shit crazy" and "pregnancy dementia". The Mumsnet PC brigade are going to be on you like flies on shit. Nothing whatsoever to do with you, it's just people are rather fond of screaming "HOW DARE YOU?!" whenever commonplace and innocuous phrases are uttered.

And sounds like you need a new phone! iPhone 4S it is for you!

So she expected you to just be psychic and miraculously know when they were going to be meeting? She sounds like a nob.

I'm really picky about this - I hate vagueness. If people expect you to be someplace, they need to tell you when they expect you to be there. I've had a vague invite to my closest pals to come over this Saturday afternoon and this morning I emailed everyone to tell them what time. Otherwise they'd be rocking up left right and centre or not at all. Common sense surely.

You need a new phone. Or a new network.

I don't get the texts on my phone very often. It seems to save them all up and then I get them all in one go when I go into town!

Would seem like very strange behaviour on behalf of your friends otherwise!

Are you sure they like you?
I would phone in future. I loathe texts and don't open them. Once a month, DD has a big deletion of whatever's in my box.

Chase people! Sorry but you need to.
When I was working earlier in the year, my partner (work partner) and I would text from time to time to check where the other one was. We were in the same small viallage, it sometimes took an hour or more o get the text.
DD texted me last week, I received it 2 hours later, we're in the same town.
Blame your pregnancy brain if you have to chase them, "Sorry I just can't remember if you told me the time/place?"

That's never going to work as an acronym, OP, it just won't. Far too clumsy.

I think you need to take responsibility for yourself a bit more. Everyone is busy and it's enough to remember our own shit without adding in anyone else's.

I think that's a bit unfair, the friend made the invite, the friend is organising it and the friend said she'd get in touch with the OP, I don't think its unreasonable of the OP to expect the friend to get in touch with details. Its not like she's asking her to remember the ins and outs of her entire social schedule.

Yes but OP knew she hadn't heard anything and didn't send a quick message to say "Are we still on for Thursday?" or whatever. She could have but she didn't. People forget things all the time and it wouldn't take much effort to send a text or pick up the phone.

I'm cutting the friends some slack