To feel fed up with the EFFORT of daily life with a toddler.

[BlackCatinaWoollyhat]

I do love her lots but I feel like I have no more energy left today.
EVERYTHING is a battle!

I'm very disappointed people are saying they improve at about 3. My dd is not even two yet, and I was thinking she would be verbal and rational etc at about 2.5. Seems like I might have to adjust my expectations!

3 and a 4yr old here. The last few weeks have nearly killed me. 3yr DS is a nightmare, much harder work than 4 yr old DD was at that age, and they squabble over every tiny bit of plastic.

Do you know, bringing up a small child was a totally alien concept to the way my mind worked. But I spent the whole time feeling so guilty about the fact it didn't seem to be 'perfect'. Nothing ever came together the way I imagined it was supposed to.....
That was all bollocks, I should have had the guts to talk about how crap it all was. But on the surface I was maintaining the 'its all going perfect' nonsense.
I ended up seriously ill. mentally and physically.
Make sure you keep talking about how you feel. Mine is now 13 and I can barely remember all those years ago. She seems to remember more than I can of those early years (thankfully in a good way). It did my head in, literally.
Never underestimate how tough/ tiring/ new/ soul saping that v long period of time is.
(Sorry, didn't mean this to sound quite as slit your wrists stuff as it does..)

YANBU!

I have 2 DSs,who are both in school. DH and I have decided to go for another one. I am so excited about it,but am dreading the toddler stage again. You are so right when you say it is all the effort required.
But it all gets so much easier when they are in nursery and school. I never thought I would go again...and here we are.
One day you will realise the tougher days are a distant memory...and you'll remember the good times only.

IME, it gets better at 4

2 is hard because of tantrums, 3 because they are gaining a sense of themselves as separate to you, and are more verbal too.

BUT, remember it's not personal, they need to be this way in order to develop properly. Unfortunately our job as parents is to soak up all the emotions they can't process properly yet, and to give them support and boundaries.

To do that properly, we must have support and time off ourselves.

I found the book Playful Parenting, quite helpful in getting round some of the confrontations that happen by using humour and games.It's worth the effort. Also, pick your battles. It is hard to relax, especially when it's your first DC, because you can't have faith that everything will work out OK in the end. But it WILL.

HandMini Here have a for the shock.

Yes, it's a phase, yes it will get easier in some ways, but as the DCs get older there are other issues to deal with, so enjoy the positives - and I'm sure you can find plenty! I look back now at when the DCs were younger, when I knew exactly where they were, what they were up to and was well able to help with their homework.

Physically draining when they're younger, more emotionally draining when they get older. Make the most of toddlerdom, you'll be yearning for it before too long! (Gosh, I sound miserable!)

Scholes - I know what you mean. I do look back at photos and videos and think how adorable they were and how much fun it was seeing them learn. But, despite all the worries, I enjoy my relationship with mine more now they are 8 and 11.

Am guessing you have teens ......

Two teens, one Y6. Learning to let go and trust, hoping I've brought them up to make wise and sensible decisions!

I have an 8 year old and 3 year old. Just finding it hard today.
Thanks for all the replies.

FruitSalad - not to burst your bubble, but IMO, 3 is hard because, even though they are verbal, they are far from rational, but you get sucked into thinking they should be, because they can talk. I remember getting embroiled in some conversations with mine where we were both talking like a couple of teenagers ("threenagers"). Remember you are the adult and this will help ....

BlackCat - ah well, then you don't need me pontificating, you need a cuppa

It gets better at 4. Count the days :)

YANBU at all.

Thanks for the . 5.5 months into parenting I wouldn't say I am qualified to feel the pain of 3 or 4 years, but yes yes yes to the relentlessness, the 24 hourness, the never quite catching up with everything that needs doing-ness. And thanks JinxandFluff for your honest words.

HandMini - 2,3,4 are fun as well though. Then best bit is them learning to talk. I loved that

DP is SAHD with 2 of em. happy happy!!!!!

Yes there are really good times too (otherwise I wouldn't have got this far).
Feeling a little better now with my and DD has calmed down for the moment.

I used to find going into the kitchen and flicking them the V's behind their backs quite useful ....

YANBU. Every stage has its trials (as I'm sure everyone will tell you, if they're kind they'll play it down, if not they'll tell you it only gets worse!) but I find the toddler time the most exhausting from a sheer 'eyes in the back of your head' point of view.

My toddler isn't a toddler anymore, he's a pre-schooler, and its becoming a LITTLE easier, but more a test on my patience as he's learning how to argue as he becomes more eloquent!

Its a grind that's for sure. Its also probably the cutest age too, which doesn't ALWAYS help when you're shopping in Asda and they're kicking off and everyone is looking at you and you know they're thinking "How can she possibly be annoyed with such a cuteypie" - GrRRR.

Toddlers are cute for a reason! Chin up. It won't last forever, one day you'll wish for those days back again but then, hindsight via the family photo album doesn't record the stress! x

YANBU. I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old (and a 7 year old) and empathise with your OP. It is exhausting at times. Luckily both are asleep right now.

Might Peppa Pig (or similar) help you both this afternoon?

Yesterday, felt like sticking a bit advert in the window:
Toddler, free to a home. Doesn't have to be a good one, just one that is a long way away from me.

Today, wouldn't change her for the world (except for maybe a half-hour slot over lunch when everything was wrong - the food, the plate, the chair.....). She's come out with two random and unprompted "Mummy, I love you" and appeared doing a made-up dance which made both of us laugh hysterically.

Give me an hour and I will probably be ready to rehome her again....

DVDs were very much my friend at this age

'Toddlers are cute for a reason!'

That is so true, Aldi, I have often thought the same myself!

I agree, and I think that babies smile at around 6 weeks because it's around that age you start to realise you may have made a big mistake