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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Selling a present my daughter was given and putting it in her bank account

70 replies

dollywashers · 20/11/2011 22:00

My daughter (7) was given a very expensive children's bracelet for her birthday by a school friend. Going for about £100 on e bay. I hadn't even heard of this type of bracelet but my Mum and BF were shocked that some random child from her class would give a present so expensive so I checked the price of them.

She is a total tomboy and is not in the least bit bothered about the bracelet plus it's a child's so not like she might like it later on. If I give it to her it will either just lie around her room or she'll lose it.

AIBU to sell it on e bay and put the money in her bank account? She wouldn't notice it was gone and I wouldn't tell her.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/11/2011 22:43
Grin

Have you bee on facebook or something Chaos? Shock

MrsRhettButler · 20/11/2011 22:44

Poor slef :( Wink

ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/11/2011 22:46

Rumbled.

Arf @ MrsRB.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/11/2011 22:46

Oh feck.

lisad123 · 20/11/2011 22:49

I wouldnt sell it, would keep it for later on. Maybe it was regifted, but either way its dds present to decide what to do with.

chickydoo · 20/11/2011 22:51

Why don't you take it to the shop where it was purchased (Links, Tiffany?)
They will be able to tell you if it's the real deal.
My daughter was given a beautiful "Tiffany" necklace, in genuine looking box, with white ribbon and a Tiffany bag. I was a bit dubious as I have been lucky enough to be given a Tiffany item or 2 in the past, and know how expensive they are. Everything looked genuine, even the hall markings. I took it to Tiffany when I was in London, only to be told it was a fake. I was relieved to be honest, as was my daughter, and now we don't have to get her friend an expensive pressie in return. My daughter also purchased a "links friendship bracelet from ebay" cost her £10.00, and came with a links bag, had all the right markings, but at £10.00 clearly a fake, especially as there were many colours tochoose from.
Hope you get the result you are looking for.

ohnoshedittant · 20/11/2011 22:51

'Hey, nice attitude!'

True though isn't it? That's how gifts work. You give it to someone and then it's theirs. You can't ask for it back because you find out at a later date that it was worth more that you thought!

timidviper · 20/11/2011 22:51

I think you should do as others have suggested and keep it for when she is older. It was a gift so is costing you nothing to keep it.

ScaryFairy28 · 20/11/2011 22:51

Why would you need to check its a gift and think she should have checked value before regifting. It looks rude to double check.

HalleysWaitress · 20/11/2011 23:02

i would contact the other mum and find out if she knew it was so expensive etc - its the right thing to do.

your dd might enjoy wearing it when shes older you never know.

personally i think selling a gift given in good faith is really wrong.

somedayma · 20/11/2011 23:12

Don't embarrass the other mum by asking how much it is! If it's real, she obviously meant to spend that much. If it's not, you'll embarrass her by making her admit that. And if it's regifted and she didn't realise how much it's worth, I'd be v surprised if she had the cheek to say 'oh actually I'll take it back'

RomanKindle · 20/11/2011 23:13

cool x

slavetofilofax · 20/11/2011 23:18

I would keep it, it wouldn't even cross my mind to sell it. It was given to your dd by a friend who wants her to have it, that in itself is a good enough reason to keep it. Tell your dd that it is a special gift and it has to be looked after because there is a meaning of friendship behind it.

If the friend, or her parents, had wanted to give her £100 to put in a bank account, they would have done.

HalleysWaitress · 20/11/2011 23:19

agree with slave very much

MrsvWoolf · 20/11/2011 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparkleSoiree · 21/11/2011 00:56

I had a gift returned to me from a mum at school. It was around £10 and it was something that my DD had chosen and she is good friends with the girl at school. When the mum returned it to me she said that she felt it was too much money to spend on a gift and she did not feel comfortable accepting it. It was done in front of my DD and she was quite upset and we were both offended. We were also highly embarrassed as there were other parents around who were watching/tittering to each other afterwards.

Not a nice situation.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 21/11/2011 01:11

Sparkle - for a £10 gift? Really? Blimey. Poor DD. I bet her DD was really upset too. I can't believe someone would do that over a £10 gift...

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/11/2011 01:15

Wouldn't occur to me to sell it. Besides, it's not yours to sell.

I have a box of christening presents for dd in the loft, half of which are fancy rattles etc. Should I flog those? No, I'll keep them safe and hand them over to her when she's an adult and can make up her own mind about them.

It's horribly greedy to see a monetary value in everything. It's your daughter's. You've said she's not interested now so put it away until she is rather than counting the pound signs.

iscream · 21/11/2011 06:09

I would keep it for her so she doesn't misplace it, and let her wear it for special occasions. Why would you even think to sell it anyways? It is not your bracelet, and why shouldn't your daughter have something of good quality?

I think it is really terrible to sell it, and asking her does not make it any better, she is only a child.

This is a sore subject for me, as I know someone (a relative) who pawned all of his daughters (and his own) stuff. Sure, he "asked them", but they were kids and as far as I am concerned it is taking advantage of them.

iscream · 21/11/2011 06:21

I know you said you'd put the money in her bank account for her, but she can do that herself when she is grown, if she doesn't want it.

seeker · 21/11/2011 06:27

Look, you can't possibly keep this bracelet. Nobody spends a hundred quid on a present for their dc's school friends! So it's either a fake or a mistake. And if it's a mistake it's legally yours I suppose but certainly not morally!

Go round and see her. Say " look, I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this, but I'm concerned about the bracelet you gave dd. It's so lovely I can't really believe it's a reproduction-can you reassure me that it is?" and see what she says. And if she says it isn't then you have to say you can't keep it. There's years of parties and present giving ahead of you- what happens at the next birthday? Or at the friend's birthday- what is your dd going to give her friend? Are you going to spend 100 quid too?

callmemrs · 21/11/2011 06:42

Agree about putting it away safely and letting your dd decide what to do when she's older.
It's her present.
She may decide to sell it later on ( when she's old enough for it to be her choice, and with enough distance from this childhood birthday for it not to be awkward). Or she may want to hold on to it to pass on to her own dd if she has one.
The point is, it's not yours to give, and I think it sends out a terrible message to
A child to not respect that fact. There is nothing to lose by hanging on to it-if it's genuinely valuable it will retain a good value. It smacks of grasping to be keen to sell it now just to top up her bank account

seeker · 21/11/2011 07:01

"It smacks of grasping to be keen to sell it now just to top up her bank account"

It's a damn sight more grasping to not check whether it was a mistake before rubbing your hands in glee.

Imagine that your child in a fit of generosity wrapped your engagement ring and gave it to her friend as a birthday present. I presume you wouldn't be saying " well, it was a present- I can't ask for it back now"

KittyFane · 21/11/2011 07:02

Yes, I'm betting it's a copy too. Links, pandora, tiffany all come in authentic l

KittyFane · 21/11/2011 07:03

...looking boxes with tags etc.

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