to think that if you say, "Here's a bag of clothes, take what you want and give the rest to the Hospice shop"

[DrSeuss]

...the clothes should not then be for sale on the internet?

The exact same thing has just happened to me - selling for own profit, instead of handing them on to another Mum or giving them to charity. I can't bring myself to say anything, but it's bloody annoying!

What do you want? A big prize for your conditional charitable giving?

"Oh what a shame, I've just taken a big bag of things to the hospice shop. You should have a look in there, there's some really nice things." Every time. Or ebay stuff yourself (feel free to give the profits to the Hospice). Or see if there's any nearly new sales going on near you. Or give them to someone you think will actually use them.

Yes, they may be strapped for cash. Buying a £1500 pram can do that. I know it was that much because she posted about it on FB and the only shop with one in stock was quite a long way off,near my in-laws, so I offered to get them to help if necessary.

YANBU. Not just cheeky, bloody out of order. I get loads of given to me for my son including bikes, toys and furniture. I wouldn't dream of selling because people have given it to me in the spirit of kindness. I did nearly sell a sofa because I had two given to me and had no room. It didn't cross my mind to give my friend the money as I don't expect to gain from someone else's aulturism.

No, Weevil, I just wondered if I was being over sensitive, something to which I know I have a tendency, or if it would annoy others. Hence posting in the AIBU section.

If you think they dont deserve your clothes, why give them? And the pram thing comes across as v passive aggressive.

Were the clothes actually worn by her DC or did she immediately list them on eBay? I have listed bundles on eBay that have been a mixture of clothes bought new by myself or family, bought secondhand from charity shops and donated from friends and family but in all fairness they were all worn by my DCs and only sold them on when they were outgrown.

If she cadged clothes off you on the pretext of them being for her DCs with the intention of eBaying them then she is fraudulent and cheeky!!

secondhand clothes are virtually worthless.TBH I am sick and tired of people dumping second hand stuuf on us because they cba to take it to the tip/charity shop.

Ha, that's bollocks spiderpig

Could you just ask her how much money did she raise for the hospice by selling the clothes?

If she can't answer that tell her that you thought she wanted the clothes for her child and you'd have felt differently if you'd known about selling them so won't be doing that again.

I once had someone take advantage of me like this and felt much better once I backed out

spiderpig - you don't have to accept it (or are you just being controversial?)

DrSeuss

Oh, and she asked me if I had any clothes my daughter had outgrown.

Depends.

I had it the other way round - a friend gave me a bag of barely worn Monsoon frocks for dd1. I said as I usually do: 'If there's anything we won't use, I'll just drop off at Oxfam, OK?'

Friend: 'Oh don't do that! They'd be worth a few quid on eBay!'
Me: 'Well, look, hadn't you better just put them on eBay then rather than giving them to us?'
Friend: 'Oh I can't be bothered...'

Which translates as Friend: I have spent lots of money I don't have on unnecessary clothes for my dd, & if I eBay them, I shall have to face up to the fact that I have spent eg. £50 on a frock which dd has worn once, & then sold it on for a fiver.

I'm grateful for the clothes, but y'know, when I pass stuff on I do so on the assumption that the recipient will cherry pick through it & then charity shop the rest or pass it on to someone else. But I don't really give it another thought because it's stuff I don't want & have decided isn't worth the faff of selling.

So I suppose YANBU, but I'd probably let it go. Just bypass her next time & take it all straight to the charity shop.

YANBU
Cheeky cow.

But you kind of do have to accept it though don't you? when they have been to the trouble of ironing sorting it and bringing it over and think they are doing you a great kindness?
jareth can you say why it is bollocks? Can you tell me where you can make money selling second hand clothes cos I'd love to know? It sure as hell isn't ebay once you've factored in listing fees , postage etc .For the time and trouble of listing, packing it and taking it to the post office.Just not worth it!

Well yes, it is eBay. Made over £65 (after fees) on a bin bag full of jeans and tops recently, that would otherwise have gone to the tip. IMO most of it wasn't charity shop worthy.

You gave them away I'm afraid, it might be bad form but what can you do

Maybe you're just bad at listing

I agree with spiderpig actually. I do give bags of clothes/general tat away and say to friends take what you want and do whatever you like with the rest. If they have the time, patience and think its worth flogging on eBay then fair play to them. If you really were that intent on giving to a particular charity you should send the clothes straight there, before the decent stuff has been weeded out.

Jareth-but how long did you spend washing ironing, ptotographing, listing packing all that lot?

Very cheeky to ask for them and then sell them on.

I would be very annoyed to be honest. It doesn't sound like she needs the cash. ( I didn't know there were prams worth 1500! ) and the charity will have lost out.

They were clean and folded, I don't iron anything, let alone eBay stuff. Prob 3hours listing, hardly any time at all packaging (print labels, shove in posting bag)

Should have said a bin bags worth of stuff.