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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to just keep one room in the house 'nice'

56 replies

Lexie1970 · 20/11/2011 13:39

OH currently has the hump with me big time.

His parents came to visit yesterday and his dad has to use a wheelchair. When they are at home he only uses the wheelchair when going out and uses his wife to help him get around their ground floor maisonette.

In our previous house I didn't worry about shoes in the house but fully respected other peoples homes by taking our shoes off if we visited as always had wooden floors and tiles that could be wiped.

MIL proceeded to wheel FIL straight over my spotless cream carpets and then DS wanted to be wheeled around the living room. I could feel the steam coming out of my ears and yelled to DS that you do not do wheelies on mummie's cream carpet you can do wheelies in the hall!! OH gives me the 'look' which I ignore and then towards the end of afternoon we are having tea and cake in our kitchen / diner and MIL wants to eat her cake in living rooom. I say no we do not eat in that room as it is the one room in the house that is being kept nice.

We have spent a lot of money on sofas/ furnishings and DS knows that it is not for him to play in that room and he only goes in there to sit quietly - no food, no drink, no toys nothing!!

I need to add that the rest of the house is a complete free for all but do want shoes taken off in house as mud gets trailed everywhere. Is it too much to ask that one room in our entire house gets to stay pristine? OH currently thinks I am the bitch from hell and totally unreasonable. We do have another living room with TV and sofa in it so there is somewhere else to sit........

Thanks as it is distinctly siberia like in our house at the moment :)

OP posts:
justpaddling · 20/11/2011 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KittyFane · 20/11/2011 13:43

Fil in wheelchair yes, DC wheelying no.
Eating in sitting room no.

KittyFane · 20/11/2011 13:45

Also wondering why cream carpet and sofa ?! Not practical.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 20/11/2011 13:50

......Because the other living room has child friendly carpet and sofa and I just wipe and scrub as I need to and do not get uptight about spills etc.

Our first house was very small and when we moved, the luxury of having one room that was for adults and to be kept nice was very appealing :)

OP posts:
ChooChooWowWow · 20/11/2011 13:52

I agree with you op. My living room has ivory rugs, sofas and curtains. I have 5 dc, cats and a dog but still keep it pristine. No playing, eating or drinking in there for the dc ever. If I have someone round when the dc are at school we will have our coffee in there.
In the case of your MiL when your ds was there I think you were right to say no to her eating in the living room.

justpaddling · 20/11/2011 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 20/11/2011 14:01

I will not let her eat cake because then DS will think it is ok for him to eat in that room

Issue with wheelchair is that she has no need to use wheelchair in her own house so why wheel him into my living room when there are other rooms on the ground floor that he can be wheeled into - we were all sitting and chatting in the kitchen / diner when she wheeled him through. I just feel that she is not respecting my home.

Pea - It makes it sound like a shrine - honestly it is not and people do sit in there. Can I also add that everyone was actually drinking wine in there and FIL knocked the glass over and shot wine over the carpet, thank god it wasn't red.......

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 20/11/2011 14:01

So what do you use the pristine room for?
You have another living room you use so I wonder what you actually do in it.

OhTheConfusion · 20/11/2011 14:03

Can't you point inlaws in the direction of your family friendly room instead of the 'good' room. I do this when it's family, friends etc and only really use the other room for nice evenings with DH, visits from the midwife etc... lol.

However the kids are allowed in there but not to play and make a mess (thats what the family room is for with wooden floors, leather sofas etc) and I even flinch when my DH takes in red wine!

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 20/11/2011 14:05

We sit in there in the evening and watch telly and when friends come over so it does get used every day ;)

Family room is normally covered in toys and normal kiddie junk

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 20/11/2011 14:16

What's wrong with having an adult, pristine room. We have a formal living room with silk furniture, etc., which has always been for adults only - late evening, reading, nice music, glass of wine in peace, entertaining. I too have had difficulty with my MIL over this. I'm not sure that this is really about the room or if it is about a perception that you were not sympathetic to fil's disability and that you might have given the impression the room was more important than him. Why MIL had to eat her cake away from the rest of the family I don't understand either unless it was to wind you up.

Megatron · 20/11/2011 15:31

It's your house so it's up to you really. I don't do 'child free' rooms as this is their home too so, to me, they can go where they like, providing they don't wreck the place. It would be bloody impossible anyway as the whole of downstairs is open plan! I do understand that other people like an 'adult only' space though and that's fine, if that's what you want in your home it should be respected.

BeaOnSea · 20/11/2011 15:43

I don't think I would have ever risked cream carpets in any room (it's not only the DC that are messy in this house) but I do understand you wanting to keep just one room "nice".

I can only really relax in a tidy room so would try and keep one room of the house quite presentable to relax in the evening. I'm in no way obsessive as the rest of the house is a shit heap quite untidy. The DC (now teenagers) can do what they want in their rooms as long as it's a) legal and b) does not harm any animals.

whoopeecushion · 20/11/2011 16:00

I do think it's pretty rude to wheel a wheelchair or a buggy or wear shoes on someone's light, obviously very clean carpet. Having said that, it is a bit of a generational thing. Out of the people I know who are 60+, there is only one couple who have a "shoes off" house. All of the others are "shoes on" places and some of these even have cream carpets. All the people I know 25-35 have "shoes off" houses, again apart from one which anything goes.

So, I don't blame you being pissed about it but I can see how it happens.

startail · 20/11/2011 16:02

UABU to have cream carpet.
UANBU to try and keep one room nice, if and only if, your house is big enough to do this with out preventing your DC being able to leave train tracks etc. Out somewhere.
My childhood home wasn't and I'd cheerfully thrown my mothers Hoover in the river.

MrsvWoolf · 20/11/2011 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carrotsandcelery · 20/11/2011 16:08

We have similar rules Lexie. We have a family room/kitchen and no food is taken anywhere else in the whole house (except water by the bed and the occasional mug of tea beside the bath.)

The lounge/sitting room/whatever you want to call it, is a toy and food free zone. The dcs are allowed to watch tv in there (although there is one in the kitchen) but not to play with toys or eat.

The only flaw in this plan has been that the dog has figured out how to open the door and seems to like to sleep on the sofa in there when we are out/sleeping Shock

I am very tempted to just give up!!

alemci · 20/11/2011 16:24

I must admit we try to keep the front room nice and it has a neutral carpet in it. I do let people have food in there as the dc are teenagers and know what I expect but I don't really have an issue about the dc being in there.

We do use it most of the time but the dc have a tv at the back of the house in kitchen/diner family area.

I can understand where the OP is coming from and It would have been more helpful if MIL had wheeled DH into the family room.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 21/11/2011 15:00

Thanks for all your views :)

Situation has thawed between myself and dp and he agrees that wheelchair being used on the carpets was a no no and his heart sank when it was bought into the house. He thinks I should have relented on the cake ......

OP posts:
pinkytheshrunkenhead · 21/11/2011 15:07

Keeping one room pristine - how very working class OP

You need to chill it is no big issue

Methe · 21/11/2011 15:13

Is "how very working class" supposed to be an insult pinky?

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 21/11/2011 15:23

Pinky - how weird to think it is working class - perhaps you have a thing about 'class' Each to their own but if you actually read the thread properly you will see we came from a much smaller house and I want to keep one room of my house nice. I don't want to trip over lego and scrub milkshake stains from every single room!

OP posts:
SarahBumBarer · 21/11/2011 15:25

Well I am obviously very working class too. I like our living room to be kept tidy and clean and nice. I get to spend an hour a day relaxing in there (if lucky) and I don't want to be eying up the toys/socks that need putting away, the cake crumbs that need to be vacuumed or the coke patch that will need to be "vanished". I just want to chill and feel the serenity.

Bonsoir · 21/11/2011 15:27

I think it is more than reasonable to have one pristine sitting room if you also have a second sitting room where there can be mess/people can chill out. But I would question the no eating rule in your pristine sitting room - when I go to visit my lucky friends with multiple living rooms I always get offered tea/drinks/eats in their pristine sitting room. Only children are banned from eating in there, not adults.

TwoStepsBack · 21/11/2011 15:28

pinky please come back and explain how it is working class.