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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my mother that she can't bring her dogs?

46 replies

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 20:33

I'll try and cut this short.

We are an animal loving family (dog,cats, rabbit, kids have horses) and my parents have a small holding. When ever my parents come over they bring their 2 dogs ( cavalier king Charles spaniels) which is obviously fine in itself.

BUT they cock their legs everywhere within minutes of coming through the door. Our house is large and spread over three fliers and they get everywhere. I'm house proud and keep it like a show home which is work in itself with 3 DCs and 2 businesses to run.

This evening they have weed everywhere, including all over the children's school bags (they go to private school and have to have a certain bag which I can't replace before school as the specialist shop is closed Sunday's).
So, AIBU to say that she can't bring them again?

OP posts:

LizzieMo · 19/11/2011 20:39

What does your mother do when they are pissing everywhere?? Does she try to control them at all?

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 20:41

She does nothing. Literally just watches it happen and me clear up. I mention it every time it happens so she is well aware. The school bags were the final straw and I snapped at her and said they've weed all over the bloody school bags now and all she said was oh I'm sorry. Just at a loss with her.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 19/11/2011 20:42

Can't you wash the bags?

rubyrubyruby · 19/11/2011 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 20:44

I can sponge them clean but why should I have to put up with it?

OP posts:

3cutedarlings · 19/11/2011 20:44

YANBU why the hell are they not house trained?

Groovee · 19/11/2011 20:45

Stick the bags in the washing machine on a delicates wash and ban your moter from bringing her dogs in the house if they cannot do their business outside

LizzieMo · 19/11/2011 20:45

Can they not be chucked out into the garden then?? Although you will probably end up having to pick up pooh instead!! I suppose it depends on your mum- would she get all huffy and say 'if they don't come I don't come' or something.

pjmama · 19/11/2011 20:45

This is a no-brainer for me. If she can't stop her dogs pissing all over your house, then they don't come - full stop. There's absolutely no way you should have to put up with that, I'm amazed that you've just been putting up with it and even cleaning up after them!?

LordOfTheFlies · 19/11/2011 20:46

Are your dogs inside?

Are her dogs weeing to mark territory or just untrained?

I would leave them in one room -with a wipeable floor- or tell her they;re not welcome. But then she might not want to leave them, so she might not visit.

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 20:46

She says they are house trained. They are quite old. But we've stopped going to her house as it stinks of wee. It burns the inside of your nose

It's so disrespectful I think.

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 19/11/2011 20:47

yanbu to say no dogs as the owner of the dogs is not being responsible for them.

school bags. can you sponge them off and give them a good spray with anti bac spray?

RandomMess · 19/11/2011 20:47

I'd let her bring them but say they have to stay outside. It's awful I'm surprised you've tolerated it so long.

I can only assume your mum has no sense of smell so doesn't realise how vile the stench in her house is.

pjmama · 19/11/2011 20:48

Buy new school bags and give your Mum a bill.

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 20:48

I've tried putting them all in the garden and leaving them there but she gets all funny saying they can't be left out.
If the dogs didn't come then she wouldn't come either.

I have spoken to her about it time and time again but nothing changes. It drives me potty.

OP posts:

spendthrift · 19/11/2011 20:49

It's unacceptable. And unhygenic. But Handy Hint from the 50s or I suspect earlier, soda water is the thing to get it out with.

I would dump them outside or else in a room with a wipeable floor. If your DCs are quite small I would make even more of a fuss and ban them for life (which might from what you say not be that long).

oldqueenie · 19/11/2011 20:53

i think your problem is your mum as much as the dogs. she is not taking your quite understandable complaints at all serious ly and is abusing your hospitality big time.... how do you get on generally? (sounds like she is (through the dogs) literally pissing all over you and spoiling your show home home....

DorisIsTheDarkDestroyer · 19/11/2011 20:53

Just stick them out now FGS!

Bloody hell my house is NOt a show home but I woud stuill object to pissy dogs all over the bloody place.

If she's not dealing with them when they do this then she needs to be sent out with them.

stripeywoollenhat · 19/11/2011 20:55

i wouldn't allow the dogs into my house. but i don't understand why your mother would bring them if they consistently piss all over the place anyway: the normal response to this would surely be deep embarrassment?

Andrewofgg · 19/11/2011 20:58

Of course you should not put up with it. Even in the garden is unwise because she will fret about them. TNS - without the dogs or she stays away.

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 21:00

Our relationship is good, I think! She is a wonderful animal lover/saver but she outs them above everything thing and everyone else. Which is obviously fine in your own house. Staring to think that she's actually quite selfish.

Thanks for all the replies, was wondering if I was being a bitch!

OP posts:

clairefromsteps · 19/11/2011 21:00

Huh? Why can't they be left outside? I assume your garden is dog-safe, being as you have dogs of your own. I don't have dogs, so I may be displaying dog-ignorance here, but don't dogs generally like being outside?

Anyway, them peeing over your house is unacceptable. If you've mentioned it to her many times before, then it sounds like she is unwilling/unable to do anything to stop it so I would issue an ultimatum - they stay in the garden or they stay at home.

monkeypuzzeltree · 19/11/2011 21:03

I have a similar problem and banned mil's dog from our house for the last 2 years, it is also an old dog, is blind, so doesn't know how to go to the door to be let out, so accidents happen. It also stinks to high heaven because of something to do with its ears, I can't have it near me and am not risking old, slightly snappy dog with a young child in the house.

She's got used to the idea and others in the family are wishing they came up with the ban themselves as she still takes it to their houses!

I love her, but I don't love her dog, she has enough respect for me to understand that.

Can't believe the stinking mutt is still alive! I do like dogs really, just not that one!

Original poster

fuzzypeach1750 · 19/11/2011 21:11

Thanks everyone, I feel justified now!

The garden is totally safe for the dogs, no one can get out so I don't see her problem.

As of this evening they are banned and if she chooses not to visit because of it then so be it!

OP posts:

oldqueenie · 19/11/2011 21:25

.. or they are relegated to a room which is not full of precious things and any pee can be easily wiped up (BY YOUR MUM)

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