AIBU to just not get little girls pamper parties

[Clossaintjacques]

I have seen some young pre teens parties that include face packs with cucumbers for eye relaxation and pretend champagne. I am not saying that I think they are inappropriate I just don't get why 7 and 8 year old girls would think sipping pretend champagne and lying with face packs on could be fun! Unless of course it's marketed to make them think it's cool. But not actually fun.

I am an adult
My decision re makeup
Never thought about it as a child
Don't want my daughter to feel these pressures now, enough time to think about what she wants to do when she is old enough.

Children see parents looking after babies all the time. Babies are also fun for children to play with (real ones). Dolls make sense.

Many children will have seen their mums in the bath, maybe shaving their legs, putting on some makeup. How many children will have seen their mum sipping champagne while receiving a massage, then applying fake tan, fake nails and things? Those things usually happen at spas / beauticians / nail salons and people don't tend to take their children along when they're doing something like that (I guess the reason it is "pampering" as it is a bit of time to yourself).

So the whole focus is not to do with copying mummy and everything to do with introducing them to commercial beautification of a type they will probably not have witnessed at home.

Copying mummy = putting her shoes on, messing with her makeup, painting your mails. Not having a back massage while sipping champagne.

My nail technician would never put gel nails on an under 16 year old. Apparently its shockingly bad in the "proper" nail circles (yes there are two levels from what I can make out!)

However, I have had a pamper party for one of DDs. Yes its a bit trashy, but having your hair curled, glitter makeup put on, nail varnish and a glitter tattoo, then prancing round to crap chart music in a feather boa while eating cup cakes has hardly scarred her for life.

It was almost 3 years ago and shes now trying to work out if shes an emo or a goth.

I realise some people feel really strongly about it, but to be honest, if you dont make a huge deal of it, its likely to be a passing fancy, and it just feels a bit worthy and joyless to make such a fuss.

If you are consistently reinforcing positive body image and how to look after yourself properly throughout her life, trust yourself that you are doing a good enough job for two hours and a bit of blusher not to undo the principles you are instilling!

I think the focus is very much on copying Mummy

A child doesn't have to go to a salon with her Mum to know she's come home 3 shades darker and with perfect nails.

My daughter has been to a pamper party. She did refuse to put on any makeup, or nail varnish, as she thinks it "looks silly". But she enjoyed the birthday cake.

Actually, thinking about it, my daughter (at 8) is a FAR better feminist than me.

worra honestly. How many children have seen their mums drinking champagne while having a massage or lying around with cucumber slices over their eyes?

The party described in the OP is a recreation of a "spa day" - something that children will not have been exposed to.

Meh

It's just a bit of fun.

My 6 year old was invited to a party at a nearby softplay - it turned out to be a pamper party with only a quick turn on the play frame / slides. DD was most put out at having her hair and nails done because she wanted to go on the slide!

Well I can't remember the last time I had my nails done at a salon and none of my friends or me use fake tan so maybe my DD won't ask for one?

I do however, shave my legs and chuck my hair into a pony daily. Maybe my DD will want a shaving and rubbish hair do party

sardine exactly kids don't see mums out pampering themselves. it's normally something they do to get away from the kids so the copy mum argument is rubbish

YANBU pamper parties might be alright for 10 or 11 year olds, But not for 7 and 8 year olds. Little girls grow up much too fast. Just let them be children and play.

Hideous idea.

I have an 8 Year old girl.

Her and her friends are interested in hairstyles and love going to the hairdressers. My dd often brushes her hair in the morning and practices her shampoo ad flick.

They are also inundated with imagery on TV and film that suggests that grown women enjoy being pampered. Off the top of my head Sharpay in High School Musical is seen doing things like lying with a face mask and cucumber over her eyes. They see Cheryl Cole advertising beauty products too.

I've seen these parties attacked in the tabloids and in my experience they are tailored to be age appropriate. My dd went to one and she had her face painted with butterflies, some lipgloss and body glitter. As for the fake champagne- most kids like to pretend to be adults and boys are no different. I have sons as well and they copy adults by pretending to drink coffee or beer and would be as happy to accept a non-alcoholic cocktail as my daughter. Shock horror- they have also pretended to smoke even though their parents don't. I remember those candy sticks that were like cigarettes from my childhood in the 80s.

I do not think that pamper parties are any more damaging than paint balling or laser quest.

YANBU. They just don't sit quite right with me for many reasons. Especially the pretend champagne! Wtf? >

My DD loved the one she went to....they had a foot spa and then she had her nails painted...they danced and had a limbo...food and drinks....it's fine! I love makeup and there's nothing wrong with it.

I bet you wouldn't all tell some Ethiopian tribe that their body art was sexist.

They might not see the 'Champers and massage' but they do see everything else

Fake tans
Fake eyelashes
Make up
Hair extensions
Eyebrow plucking
Leg shaving
False nails

All the sorts of things women do to themselves or come home with, having had them done elsewhere.

So, I still think part of these pamper parties is the idea they're copying Mum or other female family members.

Andfurthermore don't be telling me we're not a tribal society

because we are

aways have been

it's how people express themselves

and the guys are getting into it too

And little girls are interested in it...it won't be lon before little boys are curious too. Society is changing all the time and makeup has always been with us....teaching girls and boys about it is fine....they are naturally attracted to it.

I would far rather show my children how to apply it well...and how to use it as a form of expression...than to make it into some tasty taboo which they then apply badly in secret.

If that begins with the odd naff "Pamper party" then fine....at least my DD knows which colours suit her and can tell the girl applying it not to use mascara on her which has been on other kids eyes....(she did that for real..manky venue!)

YANBU. There are so many more exciting things to be doing than "pampering".

There is plenty of time to learn to "express yourself" when you reach your teenage years. That said, I am not sure how a group of girls sitting round having the same 'treatments', the same make up and same nail varnish is really learning about expressing yourself!

They're learnng how to apply it Sirzy about how it looks and what they like....it's makeup not crack...if there's an interest there, then there is nothing wrong with allowing some fun with it.

Granted not ALL kids want to try makeup and some kids would find makeup session very boring....but then not all kids want to go bowling or running around some laser centre...

my DD can't stand most sports.... tell her she may grow into them as I did....but I certainly wont discourage her playing with a bit of lippy if it makes her happy....she's just as likely to colour her cheeks in with it as carefully apply it in the way a grown up does.

Plus they don't all get the same makeup...or hairstyles...there was a choice when my DD went to her classmates party...they all looked different at the end...a mess basically as after the treatments they played! They weren't bothered about keeping their makeup "nice" it was just for fun.

I am not sure they learn how to put make up on properly at a pamper party mumbling

No but they get to see it done by someone who is reasonably good at it...they get to see it go on....it's not important anyway as theyre not exactly having foundation and concealor on are they! It's only a dab of glitter and some lipgloss...maybe a tiny bit of eye makeup..the main point is that they enjoy it. And they do.